Love Me Until Only Regret Is Left - (Chapter2/3) - AoixUruha, KaixUruha
Title: Love Me Until Only Regret Is Left
Chapters: 2/3
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Abuse, Romance
Warnings: Violence, Sex
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: AoixUruha, KaixUruha
Summary: Love is not always sweeter the second time around.
Comments: You might kill me after reading this.
[Chapter 2: I entrust my neck to a tangled intention.]
Once, there was a girl with a precious smile. A very talented girl she was that she excelled in the world of interior design. Kai employed her. They worked as a team but Kai knew the great wall between them.
She was stunning.
She was cheerful.
She was mistreated.
In spite of knowing, Kai hated the fact that he’s incapable of helping her. She’s painfully, crazily, madly in love with her boyfriend. Kai couldn’t do much for her but walk the same path of their childhood dreams.
“She’s a precious friend. Her hands were always pointing to the sky. She wanted to fly but what she asked was her grave. The thing that hit the ground first was her devoured body.”
Kai remembered how the leather rope was tangled on her neck. Her feet were six inches above the ground. Reaching her face, Kai walked closer to her and embrace her body. Only memories lingered and her designs were what she left for him. She was hanged on the ceiling. No one noticed her death. The cruel crowd continued their routine. Kai asked how death could not warn the hearts of the people who were left. If it could, he wouldn’t feel the pain he has that one day.
“Even that time, I was unable to grasp her reaching hands. I started to tremble as my thoughts scattered and melted into pieces. I couldn’t save her. I hate that guy but I hate myself the most. This existence wasn’t able to stop that red picture from burning.”
Uruha looked at him as he slowly caressed the chain that bounded him. His arms slowly touched the others. It was such a plain scenery that was decorated with their sorrow. On that sofa, they held hands. Uruha was gazing at the empty white wall. Wasn’t there anything hanged on there before? If there wasn’t, how sad it could be. He could no longer hear the flaky voice of the other as he felt something wet on his shoulders.
“We’re… different. I know Aoi would be able to forgive me. In his heart, I believe he could. Someday, we’ll be able to be happy again and I won’t…
Be like her.”
“What assurance do you have Uruha? I know my brother more than you. There was a toy I once had when I was a kid. He wanted it too. I offered to share it with him but he broke it. Uruha, if he couldn’t fully possess the things he wanted, he’ll rather break it. He won’t let anyone benefit from you.”
Uruha bit hit lips as their eyes crossed, “I’m… not a toy, Kai and it’s not the same. You’re wrong.”
“He wasn’t using me! He loves me. I’m not a toy. You’re wrong Kai-san!”
Kai pinned him down to the sofa. Legs apart, he was on top of Uruha. Birds were chirping outside like it’s always a fine afternoon. Children’s voice on the riverside echoed to their ears. Uruha didn’t fear but Kai could see the frown on his eyes as he lifted the hair covering the other’s face. He cupped his face as their heads touched one another. Uruha’s lips could feel the other’s breath.
“Do you know what she told me before she… died? She… no matter what happens, she asked me to use her designs for the expo. It’s the only thing she has after that guy left her. I want to express her. I want the whole world to know her and her feelings.
Can you even understand how this expo is important to me Uruha?”
“Yes. You want to realize her dream.”
“No. It’s because I met you because of it. I could somewhat redeem myself. I want to help you. Uruha, aside from Aoi, what do you think is left for you?”
Uruha tried to answer. Words seemed to lose its way out. Even explanations seemed too vague to understand. He lost everything already. Aoi wished him to quit his job. He did. Aoi wanted him to stay on their house. He did. Aoi forced him to give up everything. He did. And now someone asks him what’s left for him, he just watched himself crumbled into pieces. He’s not a toy but probably, he’s just something Aoi has and him?
He has nothing.
“Nothing is left…” Uruha cried. “Kai… everything I could do… nothing is left anymore…”
Kai felt that he did something terrible as he looked at the other’s tear-soaked face. He suddenly wanted to kiss him as tears overflowed on his eyes after such a long time. The truth was he wanted to do something more than that but those things would be unnecessary for the moment. He went off from him and pulled him to his chest. He granted him comfort. He tightly pressed his body to the others as he felt Uruha’s arms around him. Aoi would be here any moment. But the fuck did it matter.
“You have me.”
Those words seemed to blend with the sound of footsteps on the old fashioned floor of the building. Uruha immediately stood up. Kai tried to hold his hands but the other was too fast as he ran to the entrance of the room. He wondered if there was a single word he told him stayed on Uruha’s heart. Even the last sentence was enough. His eyes went with him as the chain on Uruha’s right food moved through his front. He kept his hands on his pocket and followed. The door started to open.
Aoi’s lips met Uruha’s as his arms were wrapped on the other’s waist. He kissed him lavishly right on Kai’s front. The latter knew Aoi’s doing it on purpose as well the way he grabbed the other’s back as Aoi looked at him.
“I thought you’re here for lunch,” Kai interrupted.
“Yeah and I’ll be enjoying it to its maximum,” Aoi pulled Uruha to the bedroom.
Once they were alone, Aoi started to ‘eat’ his food. Unbuttoning Uruha’s shirt, he softly took turns of sucking his lips and neck. His tongue wetly licked Uruha’s skin with his hands touching the other’s flesh. Uruha was laying on the bed and Aoi on top of him as he remembered everything Kai had told him. What if what he have now with Aoi is wrong? What’s left on him if Aoi finally grew tired of him? What if he had already compensated to his fault without him knowing? Uruha began to question his heart.
“Aoi… forgive me? For everything I did, please forgive me. Let’s bring back those days.”
They both heard Kai’s voice as he said he’s going to work. The sound of the door banged but not Aoi’s answer. He just silently touched him. Gently, his lips travelled on the other’s body. A resuscitated hope thumped on Uruha’s heart as he crossed his arms to the other’s neck but…
“Are you stupid?”
Aoi whispered as if it was a love song. Uruha suddenly felt something painfully entered his body as those words were followed by the other’s panting. Tears dripped out as his voice of pain echoed. He was repeatedly raped. He was repeatedly punished and he will repeatedly forgive him until now.
Uruha pushed him.
They stared at each other.
“One mistake isn’t enough to hurt me repeatedly! I gave everything to you. I have nothing left but this goodbye. I’m tired of it.”
“Are you… tired of me?”
Uruha never saw that kind of emotion before. He wanted to swallow all of his words as innocence painted on the other’s face. He lifted his hand trying to touch Aoi’s face, finding an answer to his doubt. If Aoi would tell him he loves him, he’ll willingly wrap his arms to the other once again. Seeming like it couldn’t find its way, his hand fall on Aoi’s chest.
Aoi’s hands played on the steel embracing the other’s feet. His eyes didn’t depart on Uruha’s as the key twisted the lock. He threw the chain out of the bed. Uruha shook once it hit the floor. Aoi took Uruha’s hand on his chest and joined it with the other. Both of their hands were locked upon each other and the moment Aoi let go, Uruha felt something cold. It was a little, shinning ring.
“Are you… tired… of… me?” Aoi averted his face.
“What is happening to you?” Uruha couldn’t understand.
“I suddenly want to…
KILL YOU.”
Uruha’s eyes widened. Aoi’s face remained the same as if he was a lost cat. It was calm and questioning. Uruha wondered if what he heard was right but all of the doubts vanished as Aoi finally looked at him with his damn cold eyes. It pierced him. He wanted to run. All of his senses feared the other’s existence as if they were getting manipulated. The next scene was expressed as a black-and-white film.
Uruha tried to escape, only few meters away from the door. Aoi pulled his hair back to the bed. He slapped him, once, twice, a countless of times until he almost felt his consciousness departed. He felt Aoi crawled on him, raising his arms, as he kissed his body. Uruha felt something was stuck on his throat. It forbade him from breathing. Is it the same as a rosary being hanged on your body? It suddenly loosened. Aoi was on his lower half, sucking it. It’s funny how it still felt good. His cock between the other’s lips felt so damn good.
Now they’re face to face. Uruha wanted to at least kiss him but that won’t do. Aoi bit his lips. The taste of the blood he tasted might be his last memory. Hiding this goodbye, Uruha understood the fact that he wanted someone to help him, to know his story. He didn’t want to die without anyone to remember him.
“You have me.”
No. Kai might remember him. He’ll never forget him. He took his hands off from Aoi and rested it to the bed. He didn’t resist anymore. Aoi could do anything to him.
He closed his eyes.
He felt the other violently held his body. Taking turns of fucking his back and his mouth. He could feel the blood flowing from his nipples. Aoi had abused it too much. He’s a dead body being used before being disposed.
When numbness had already taken over, he could finally fall asleep.
In the distant past, I always walked behind you so I could trace that figure of your back. I want to learn to accept the night that it will surely happen, that this back I traced is the last memory I’ll have when breaking up is the final option. I knew for myself that I was unable to completely understand what separating with you means. I’m scared of it. I held your hands. Even right now, I still want to protect it with my dying body on the bed. But I couldn’t touch your heart anymore, that changing season passed rapidly and I wasn’t able to keep up. Even though my betrayal made you sad, I couldn’t find any reason to deny it and I was left with nothing but apologizing words.
“I wish that you’ll believe when I say that I only loved one person in my life. You’re the first and the greatest one.”
Aoi was smothered into pieces.
“Thank you for... loving me…
Aoi.”
A/N: ...
Chapters: 2/3
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Abuse, Romance
Warnings: Violence, Sex
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: AoixUruha, KaixUruha
Summary: Love is not always sweeter the second time around.
Comments: You might kill me after reading this.
[Chapter 2: I entrust my neck to a tangled intention.]
Once, there was a girl with a precious smile. A very talented girl she was that she excelled in the world of interior design. Kai employed her. They worked as a team but Kai knew the great wall between them.
She was stunning.
She was cheerful.
She was mistreated.
In spite of knowing, Kai hated the fact that he’s incapable of helping her. She’s painfully, crazily, madly in love with her boyfriend. Kai couldn’t do much for her but walk the same path of their childhood dreams.
“She’s a precious friend. Her hands were always pointing to the sky. She wanted to fly but what she asked was her grave. The thing that hit the ground first was her devoured body.”
Kai remembered how the leather rope was tangled on her neck. Her feet were six inches above the ground. Reaching her face, Kai walked closer to her and embrace her body. Only memories lingered and her designs were what she left for him. She was hanged on the ceiling. No one noticed her death. The cruel crowd continued their routine. Kai asked how death could not warn the hearts of the people who were left. If it could, he wouldn’t feel the pain he has that one day.
“Even that time, I was unable to grasp her reaching hands. I started to tremble as my thoughts scattered and melted into pieces. I couldn’t save her. I hate that guy but I hate myself the most. This existence wasn’t able to stop that red picture from burning.”
Uruha looked at him as he slowly caressed the chain that bounded him. His arms slowly touched the others. It was such a plain scenery that was decorated with their sorrow. On that sofa, they held hands. Uruha was gazing at the empty white wall. Wasn’t there anything hanged on there before? If there wasn’t, how sad it could be. He could no longer hear the flaky voice of the other as he felt something wet on his shoulders.
“We’re… different. I know Aoi would be able to forgive me. In his heart, I believe he could. Someday, we’ll be able to be happy again and I won’t…
Be like her.”
“What assurance do you have Uruha? I know my brother more than you. There was a toy I once had when I was a kid. He wanted it too. I offered to share it with him but he broke it. Uruha, if he couldn’t fully possess the things he wanted, he’ll rather break it. He won’t let anyone benefit from you.”
Uruha bit hit lips as their eyes crossed, “I’m… not a toy, Kai and it’s not the same. You’re wrong.”
“He wasn’t using me! He loves me. I’m not a toy. You’re wrong Kai-san!”
Kai pinned him down to the sofa. Legs apart, he was on top of Uruha. Birds were chirping outside like it’s always a fine afternoon. Children’s voice on the riverside echoed to their ears. Uruha didn’t fear but Kai could see the frown on his eyes as he lifted the hair covering the other’s face. He cupped his face as their heads touched one another. Uruha’s lips could feel the other’s breath.
“Do you know what she told me before she… died? She… no matter what happens, she asked me to use her designs for the expo. It’s the only thing she has after that guy left her. I want to express her. I want the whole world to know her and her feelings.
Can you even understand how this expo is important to me Uruha?”
“Yes. You want to realize her dream.”
“No. It’s because I met you because of it. I could somewhat redeem myself. I want to help you. Uruha, aside from Aoi, what do you think is left for you?”
Uruha tried to answer. Words seemed to lose its way out. Even explanations seemed too vague to understand. He lost everything already. Aoi wished him to quit his job. He did. Aoi wanted him to stay on their house. He did. Aoi forced him to give up everything. He did. And now someone asks him what’s left for him, he just watched himself crumbled into pieces. He’s not a toy but probably, he’s just something Aoi has and him?
He has nothing.
“Nothing is left…” Uruha cried. “Kai… everything I could do… nothing is left anymore…”
Kai felt that he did something terrible as he looked at the other’s tear-soaked face. He suddenly wanted to kiss him as tears overflowed on his eyes after such a long time. The truth was he wanted to do something more than that but those things would be unnecessary for the moment. He went off from him and pulled him to his chest. He granted him comfort. He tightly pressed his body to the others as he felt Uruha’s arms around him. Aoi would be here any moment. But the fuck did it matter.
“You have me.”
Those words seemed to blend with the sound of footsteps on the old fashioned floor of the building. Uruha immediately stood up. Kai tried to hold his hands but the other was too fast as he ran to the entrance of the room. He wondered if there was a single word he told him stayed on Uruha’s heart. Even the last sentence was enough. His eyes went with him as the chain on Uruha’s right food moved through his front. He kept his hands on his pocket and followed. The door started to open.
Aoi’s lips met Uruha’s as his arms were wrapped on the other’s waist. He kissed him lavishly right on Kai’s front. The latter knew Aoi’s doing it on purpose as well the way he grabbed the other’s back as Aoi looked at him.
“I thought you’re here for lunch,” Kai interrupted.
“Yeah and I’ll be enjoying it to its maximum,” Aoi pulled Uruha to the bedroom.
Once they were alone, Aoi started to ‘eat’ his food. Unbuttoning Uruha’s shirt, he softly took turns of sucking his lips and neck. His tongue wetly licked Uruha’s skin with his hands touching the other’s flesh. Uruha was laying on the bed and Aoi on top of him as he remembered everything Kai had told him. What if what he have now with Aoi is wrong? What’s left on him if Aoi finally grew tired of him? What if he had already compensated to his fault without him knowing? Uruha began to question his heart.
“Aoi… forgive me? For everything I did, please forgive me. Let’s bring back those days.”
They both heard Kai’s voice as he said he’s going to work. The sound of the door banged but not Aoi’s answer. He just silently touched him. Gently, his lips travelled on the other’s body. A resuscitated hope thumped on Uruha’s heart as he crossed his arms to the other’s neck but…
“Are you stupid?”
Aoi whispered as if it was a love song. Uruha suddenly felt something painfully entered his body as those words were followed by the other’s panting. Tears dripped out as his voice of pain echoed. He was repeatedly raped. He was repeatedly punished and he will repeatedly forgive him until now.
Uruha pushed him.
They stared at each other.
“One mistake isn’t enough to hurt me repeatedly! I gave everything to you. I have nothing left but this goodbye. I’m tired of it.”
“Are you… tired of me?”
Uruha never saw that kind of emotion before. He wanted to swallow all of his words as innocence painted on the other’s face. He lifted his hand trying to touch Aoi’s face, finding an answer to his doubt. If Aoi would tell him he loves him, he’ll willingly wrap his arms to the other once again. Seeming like it couldn’t find its way, his hand fall on Aoi’s chest.
Aoi’s hands played on the steel embracing the other’s feet. His eyes didn’t depart on Uruha’s as the key twisted the lock. He threw the chain out of the bed. Uruha shook once it hit the floor. Aoi took Uruha’s hand on his chest and joined it with the other. Both of their hands were locked upon each other and the moment Aoi let go, Uruha felt something cold. It was a little, shinning ring.
“Are you… tired… of… me?” Aoi averted his face.
“What is happening to you?” Uruha couldn’t understand.
“I suddenly want to…
KILL YOU.”
Uruha’s eyes widened. Aoi’s face remained the same as if he was a lost cat. It was calm and questioning. Uruha wondered if what he heard was right but all of the doubts vanished as Aoi finally looked at him with his damn cold eyes. It pierced him. He wanted to run. All of his senses feared the other’s existence as if they were getting manipulated. The next scene was expressed as a black-and-white film.
Uruha tried to escape, only few meters away from the door. Aoi pulled his hair back to the bed. He slapped him, once, twice, a countless of times until he almost felt his consciousness departed. He felt Aoi crawled on him, raising his arms, as he kissed his body. Uruha felt something was stuck on his throat. It forbade him from breathing. Is it the same as a rosary being hanged on your body? It suddenly loosened. Aoi was on his lower half, sucking it. It’s funny how it still felt good. His cock between the other’s lips felt so damn good.
Now they’re face to face. Uruha wanted to at least kiss him but that won’t do. Aoi bit his lips. The taste of the blood he tasted might be his last memory. Hiding this goodbye, Uruha understood the fact that he wanted someone to help him, to know his story. He didn’t want to die without anyone to remember him.
“You have me.”
No. Kai might remember him. He’ll never forget him. He took his hands off from Aoi and rested it to the bed. He didn’t resist anymore. Aoi could do anything to him.
He closed his eyes.
He felt the other violently held his body. Taking turns of fucking his back and his mouth. He could feel the blood flowing from his nipples. Aoi had abused it too much. He’s a dead body being used before being disposed.
When numbness had already taken over, he could finally fall asleep.
In the distant past, I always walked behind you so I could trace that figure of your back. I want to learn to accept the night that it will surely happen, that this back I traced is the last memory I’ll have when breaking up is the final option. I knew for myself that I was unable to completely understand what separating with you means. I’m scared of it. I held your hands. Even right now, I still want to protect it with my dying body on the bed. But I couldn’t touch your heart anymore, that changing season passed rapidly and I wasn’t able to keep up. Even though my betrayal made you sad, I couldn’t find any reason to deny it and I was left with nothing but apologizing words.
“I wish that you’ll believe when I say that I only loved one person in my life. You’re the first and the greatest one.”
Aoi was smothered into pieces.
“Thank you for... loving me…
Aoi.”
A/N: ...