Change of Heart (Chapter16/??) - AoixUruha, ByouxUruha, RukixUruha
Title: Change of Heart
Chapters: 16/??
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Yaoi, Drama, Romance, Comedy, Smut, Slice of Life
Warnings: nothing here yet
Ratings: PG-13/NC-17
Pairings/Characters: AoixUruha, ByouxUruha, RukixUruha, ReitaxRuki, ShinxIv
Band: the GazettE, Vivid, Sadie, ScReW
Summary: Uruha has the best of life. Great family, nice friends, and good at almost everything. Aoi, on the other hand, is a talented and genius young man who'll risk everything for his dreams and a chance to escape his miseries. Two opposite world collides, jealousy and hate enveloped the raven one to the other who got everything he wanted. Rivalry took place but soon they'll discover that life played on them and they must live the life of the other.
Disclaimer: I wish but I declined. Many fan girls would try to kill me^^
Comments: Byou came back!!!
[ACT 16: Withered Memories]
Four years had passed since I knew what love is, sweet days won’t be coming back once again. The color of white melted on my cheeks. If only this snow could extinguish this burning fire on my heart. The stars won’t be shining, not at all, unless you’re here by my side. My way back to you seemed a little too far away. I’ll carry all those memories deep inside me. I’ll feel pain. It’s enough for me to cry.
He’ll never recover no matter how much he said to himself that it was over. No matter how hard he tries to soothe his heart, his lips would only quiver with his eyes filled with tears. He didn't want to cry, but tears won't comply.
“How long would you make me wait? I became vain with the passage of time. I could only know of being stuck here not unless you’ll come and pull me out of this maze. Won’t this fourth snow of my life deliver you here?”
Aoi walked that same street he used to. Remembering only memories of him, that place would always be the same. As the snow piled unto his shoulders, his palm touched the tinted glass of that restaurant. He looked upon his reflection. His swollen eyes won’t disappear. The feeling of longing won’t permit him.
If my tears won’t stop falling, I know your memories would disappear but I won’t allow it even I’m being broken apart. I believe you are waiting for me. I want to believe because of you. For a second I look closely to me, I see your reflection. You can’t cry. It’ll hurt me more if you do. Noticing my tears had already dried, it wasn’t me who’s reflected. The truth is it was really you who is crying.
“Uruha,” he ran and entered the restaurant. He saw the man with a blue coat still staring at the window. He won’t waste time as he quickly ran nearer to him. Aoi pulled him and embraced him tightly.
“Why do you have that expression?” Uruha cupped his face.
“I thought you’re not coming back!” Aoi was too afraid to let him go.
“Then… who are you?” those were the most painful worlds Uruha could utter. Aoi won’t mistake him, not at all. His lips, his cheeks, and his eyes, Aoi memorized them all. Why won’t he be him? Aoi could only ask himself.
“Uruha, why do you hurt me this way?”
Uruha’s tears continued to fell, “I don’t understand,” a forced smile curved into his cheeks, “I just… can’t remember you…” Uruha looked at him on the eye before he ran.
Aoi was frozen, “Tell me what I should do! I love you, Uruha! If you forgot about me, I’ll still be waiting! Waiting is enough, it’s my happiness! If I’m caught like this, will I ever see you smile?” he turned back to look at him. Aoi watched him closely fearing that his loving heart would disappear right through his eyes.
Uruha wiped his tears as he continued to walk outside, “Why do I care for you?”
I keep telling myself that this have to stop. My heart is beating so fast that I can’t control it. I don’t even know you, do I? If holding my breath is enough to stop it from beating, won’t it calm me? My lips started to tremble. My tears flooded with the snow. I fell in love to the man on the mirror. His face won’t disappear, please don’t turn my heart into ash. Don’t make me fall apart more than I am right now.
Uruha managed to walk home. Someone’s waiting for him, the one who could only tell who he is. Once the door closed, two people ran towards him. They’re all worried for him. Iv embraced him tightly and cleaned the snow on his hair. Uruha could bring himself to believe that this is his brother though his doubts are more than what is he sure of. A fabricated past, that’s all he is right now.
“I could feel it. I know your lies. Won’t you tell me enough? Who am I? Ruki, please, allow me to feel it. I know you’re hiding something, something that I need to know.”
Iv walked out and left the two. He couldn’t do anything for his brother for Ruki won’t allow him. It pained him to see Uruha like that. Six months after he lost his memory, Iv was the witness as Uruha jumped from his cage. He finally became free, free without his memories. Ruki would wrap it for eternity, he knew. He sobbed to his empty room. Uruha sacrificed many things for him and their deceased mother but in the end, he couldn’t do anything for him. He’s even a tool for Ruki to use against Uruha.
“Didn’t I tell you,” Ruki caressed the other’s cheeks. “You lost your memory in a car accident. We’ve been leaving together even before. I love you and you love me,” Ruki planted a kiss on his forehead and lead him to their bed.
Uruha lied down, “I saw him, the man who always appears on my dreams…”
“He loves you but you didn’t answer his feelings. That’s why we left Japan. He wants revenge from you. We definitely should return to New York as soon as possible.” Ruki was supposed to stand up when Uruha pulled his arm.
“No, please, I have to be here. Fragments of me was scattered around this place. I have to find the lost me. If you really love me, you’ll let me stay to find myself. If I’m unsure of whom I am, then I won’t be able to give you my whole heart.”
Ruki held and kissed the other’s hand, “Then promise me this, aside from what you remember, you’ll only believe me. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
“I love you,” Ruki whispered into his ears before he sucked his neck, “Can I touch you?” he looked into his eye.
Uruha just nodded, unaware of the man staring at him outside his window.
I love you but you’re unaware. I could only look at you for eternity, your painful sight. Even you share your nights with a different person, without even knowing me, it would be fine. The broken pieces of us, no matter how they’re smashed into pieces, I’ll glue them all together. I’ll do it for you. You’re my sole reason, my sole purpose. It might be better for you to forget about me but I won’t wish for it. I have love for you and it’s enough, figure out everything by yourself. I’ll be on your back when you finally remember how deep my feelings for you are.
Tomorrow after, Uruha woke up. Nothing particular had changed. He’s still lost. Ruki was gone for work. He heard noises in the kitchen, Iv’s probably cooking. Uruha wore his coat and headed outside. He left a note on his room, telling he’ll be back after an hour. He wanted at least, to be with nature. The birds were singing. He hummed sweet longings to himself thinking if he’ll ever gather up everything.
A hand intertwined with his, “Let’s go.”
“You…” Uruha’s eyes widened. “Let me go! Where would you take me?”
“To your parents, to your brother, to your friends, to your lost self…”
“You… you’re lying!” Uruha pushed him away.
“Then look at this!” Aoi show him a photo on his phone. “You’re smiling with them. Sorry if I took them away from you but you have to come back…”
Uruha trailed their faces. His heart knew how much they value for him. “Ruki told me you wanted revenge to me,” he looked at him on the eye.
“You didn’t do anything bad to me,” Aoi cupped his face. “You’ve been waiting for him for so long, aren’t you? It’s Byou, the one sitting next to you.”
“Hentai-niisan!” Uruha would remember. His head started to ache, “Byou-niisan… then who’s the one with me?”
“Iv is your real brother. A lot happened into the past. It’s difficult to explain considering what you are right now but if you’ll be able to meet them, I know your heart would understand.”
“Who are you? Why are you so kind to me?”
“I’m the person who loves you the most…” Aoi whispered not letting Uruha to hear. “Why don’t we give Byou a call right now?”
Uruha held his hand as he supposed to dial the other’s number.
“Why?” Aoi wondered as he felt Uruha’s hand shaking.
“If I’ll ever talk to him, I wonder what I would say. Won’t I just hurt him? I’m scared. Will he be angry to me?” Uruha blushed like a child.
Iv smiled when he saw the two outside. For Ruki, considering he owes a lot to him, he supposed to stop their meeting but for Uruha, being with Aoi would be his best remedy. It’s the least he could do for both of them. He closed his eyes and pretended not to see anything.
Aoi pinched the other’s nose, “Tell him he’s stupid. He’ll laugh. Tell him he’s a pain on the ass. Do you know he kicked me out when he first went home? He keeps shouting that he won’t accept anyone but you. Above all, tell him that you’re happy. He’ll cry. That’s enough. Just letting him hear your voice is enough.”
What should I do? Not knowing this person, his smile is enough to melt the frozen me. My mind didn’t want to trust him. I promised Ruki but my heart won’t listen. It’s beating for him. What kind of revenge he’s plotting by his kindness? I’m aware that I’m falling on his hands. I cannot remain not knowing you.
Aoi stared at the speechless Uruha, “I’m calling~” he teasingly said and dialed the phone.
“Hey, I’m not ready…” Uruha tried to stop him.
“Oi, stupid Aoi! Where have you gone?” Byou picked up the phone. Aoi immediately passed it to Uruha.
“Oi, Aoi! How about I twist your neck if you won’t answer in five seconds? One, two, three, four, I’m hanging up…”
“Ah, wait…” Uruha uttered. “Byou-niisan… I’m Uruha…”
Byou couldn’t answer. His mind went blank.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m fine. Please don’t worry about me… Ah…” Uruha looked at Aoi. “I’m happy.”
Aoi smiled warmly.
“Don’t fuck with me…” Byou’s tone scared Uruha.
Uruha bit his lips.
“You said you’ll wait for me…”
“I’m sorry…” Uruha’s tears flooded.
“Oi, what did he said?” Aoi was worried. “Give me the phone…”
Uruha was supposed to hand it over when Byou cried for him, “Come back… No matter how pitiful you became without me, come back! I want you…”
“Byou-niisan…” Uruha smiled. “Yeah, I promise I’ll come back.”
“Hey, can you pass the phone to Aoi?” Uruha did what the other said.
“FUCK YOU!” Byou shouted. “Where the hell are you two? Bring him here, screw you!”
“How ungrateful you are jerk! I can’t bring him there right now! I’ll explain to you when I got home.”
“You don’t need to come home! Just send him here!”
“Shut up,” Aoi closed his phone.
Uruha couldn’t help but to laugh, “How funny you are considering you don’t get along from the start…” He was surprised by his own words.
No matter how long it would take for you to recognize this love, I’ll continue to believe. I’ll continue to live on this agony even to this eternal pain. If love brings happiness, I wonder when I will stop crying. I’d give everything away, if this love was permitted. You don’t have to bother losing what’s precious to you anymore. I’ll protect it even letting my feelings be hidden with this fake smile.
A/N: Believe me, I really want to update so fast but school is killing me. I'm so sorry.
Chapters: 16/??
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Yaoi, Drama, Romance, Comedy, Smut, Slice of Life
Warnings: nothing here yet
Ratings: PG-13/NC-17
Pairings/Characters: AoixUruha, ByouxUruha, RukixUruha, ReitaxRuki, ShinxIv
Band: the GazettE, Vivid, Sadie, ScReW
Summary: Uruha has the best of life. Great family, nice friends, and good at almost everything. Aoi, on the other hand, is a talented and genius young man who'll risk everything for his dreams and a chance to escape his miseries. Two opposite world collides, jealousy and hate enveloped the raven one to the other who got everything he wanted. Rivalry took place but soon they'll discover that life played on them and they must live the life of the other.
Disclaimer: I wish but I declined. Many fan girls would try to kill me^^
Comments: Byou came back!!!
[ACT 16: Withered Memories]
Four years had passed since I knew what love is, sweet days won’t be coming back once again. The color of white melted on my cheeks. If only this snow could extinguish this burning fire on my heart. The stars won’t be shining, not at all, unless you’re here by my side. My way back to you seemed a little too far away. I’ll carry all those memories deep inside me. I’ll feel pain. It’s enough for me to cry.
He’ll never recover no matter how much he said to himself that it was over. No matter how hard he tries to soothe his heart, his lips would only quiver with his eyes filled with tears. He didn't want to cry, but tears won't comply.
“How long would you make me wait? I became vain with the passage of time. I could only know of being stuck here not unless you’ll come and pull me out of this maze. Won’t this fourth snow of my life deliver you here?”
Aoi walked that same street he used to. Remembering only memories of him, that place would always be the same. As the snow piled unto his shoulders, his palm touched the tinted glass of that restaurant. He looked upon his reflection. His swollen eyes won’t disappear. The feeling of longing won’t permit him.
If my tears won’t stop falling, I know your memories would disappear but I won’t allow it even I’m being broken apart. I believe you are waiting for me. I want to believe because of you. For a second I look closely to me, I see your reflection. You can’t cry. It’ll hurt me more if you do. Noticing my tears had already dried, it wasn’t me who’s reflected. The truth is it was really you who is crying.
“Uruha,” he ran and entered the restaurant. He saw the man with a blue coat still staring at the window. He won’t waste time as he quickly ran nearer to him. Aoi pulled him and embraced him tightly.
“Why do you have that expression?” Uruha cupped his face.
“I thought you’re not coming back!” Aoi was too afraid to let him go.
“Then… who are you?” those were the most painful worlds Uruha could utter. Aoi won’t mistake him, not at all. His lips, his cheeks, and his eyes, Aoi memorized them all. Why won’t he be him? Aoi could only ask himself.
“Uruha, why do you hurt me this way?”
Uruha’s tears continued to fell, “I don’t understand,” a forced smile curved into his cheeks, “I just… can’t remember you…” Uruha looked at him on the eye before he ran.
Aoi was frozen, “Tell me what I should do! I love you, Uruha! If you forgot about me, I’ll still be waiting! Waiting is enough, it’s my happiness! If I’m caught like this, will I ever see you smile?” he turned back to look at him. Aoi watched him closely fearing that his loving heart would disappear right through his eyes.
Uruha wiped his tears as he continued to walk outside, “Why do I care for you?”
I keep telling myself that this have to stop. My heart is beating so fast that I can’t control it. I don’t even know you, do I? If holding my breath is enough to stop it from beating, won’t it calm me? My lips started to tremble. My tears flooded with the snow. I fell in love to the man on the mirror. His face won’t disappear, please don’t turn my heart into ash. Don’t make me fall apart more than I am right now.
Uruha managed to walk home. Someone’s waiting for him, the one who could only tell who he is. Once the door closed, two people ran towards him. They’re all worried for him. Iv embraced him tightly and cleaned the snow on his hair. Uruha could bring himself to believe that this is his brother though his doubts are more than what is he sure of. A fabricated past, that’s all he is right now.
“I could feel it. I know your lies. Won’t you tell me enough? Who am I? Ruki, please, allow me to feel it. I know you’re hiding something, something that I need to know.”
Iv walked out and left the two. He couldn’t do anything for his brother for Ruki won’t allow him. It pained him to see Uruha like that. Six months after he lost his memory, Iv was the witness as Uruha jumped from his cage. He finally became free, free without his memories. Ruki would wrap it for eternity, he knew. He sobbed to his empty room. Uruha sacrificed many things for him and their deceased mother but in the end, he couldn’t do anything for him. He’s even a tool for Ruki to use against Uruha.
“Didn’t I tell you,” Ruki caressed the other’s cheeks. “You lost your memory in a car accident. We’ve been leaving together even before. I love you and you love me,” Ruki planted a kiss on his forehead and lead him to their bed.
Uruha lied down, “I saw him, the man who always appears on my dreams…”
“He loves you but you didn’t answer his feelings. That’s why we left Japan. He wants revenge from you. We definitely should return to New York as soon as possible.” Ruki was supposed to stand up when Uruha pulled his arm.
“No, please, I have to be here. Fragments of me was scattered around this place. I have to find the lost me. If you really love me, you’ll let me stay to find myself. If I’m unsure of whom I am, then I won’t be able to give you my whole heart.”
Ruki held and kissed the other’s hand, “Then promise me this, aside from what you remember, you’ll only believe me. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
“I love you,” Ruki whispered into his ears before he sucked his neck, “Can I touch you?” he looked into his eye.
Uruha just nodded, unaware of the man staring at him outside his window.
I love you but you’re unaware. I could only look at you for eternity, your painful sight. Even you share your nights with a different person, without even knowing me, it would be fine. The broken pieces of us, no matter how they’re smashed into pieces, I’ll glue them all together. I’ll do it for you. You’re my sole reason, my sole purpose. It might be better for you to forget about me but I won’t wish for it. I have love for you and it’s enough, figure out everything by yourself. I’ll be on your back when you finally remember how deep my feelings for you are.
Tomorrow after, Uruha woke up. Nothing particular had changed. He’s still lost. Ruki was gone for work. He heard noises in the kitchen, Iv’s probably cooking. Uruha wore his coat and headed outside. He left a note on his room, telling he’ll be back after an hour. He wanted at least, to be with nature. The birds were singing. He hummed sweet longings to himself thinking if he’ll ever gather up everything.
A hand intertwined with his, “Let’s go.”
“You…” Uruha’s eyes widened. “Let me go! Where would you take me?”
“To your parents, to your brother, to your friends, to your lost self…”
“You… you’re lying!” Uruha pushed him away.
“Then look at this!” Aoi show him a photo on his phone. “You’re smiling with them. Sorry if I took them away from you but you have to come back…”
Uruha trailed their faces. His heart knew how much they value for him. “Ruki told me you wanted revenge to me,” he looked at him on the eye.
“You didn’t do anything bad to me,” Aoi cupped his face. “You’ve been waiting for him for so long, aren’t you? It’s Byou, the one sitting next to you.”
“Hentai-niisan!” Uruha would remember. His head started to ache, “Byou-niisan… then who’s the one with me?”
“Iv is your real brother. A lot happened into the past. It’s difficult to explain considering what you are right now but if you’ll be able to meet them, I know your heart would understand.”
“Who are you? Why are you so kind to me?”
“I’m the person who loves you the most…” Aoi whispered not letting Uruha to hear. “Why don’t we give Byou a call right now?”
Uruha held his hand as he supposed to dial the other’s number.
“Why?” Aoi wondered as he felt Uruha’s hand shaking.
“If I’ll ever talk to him, I wonder what I would say. Won’t I just hurt him? I’m scared. Will he be angry to me?” Uruha blushed like a child.
Iv smiled when he saw the two outside. For Ruki, considering he owes a lot to him, he supposed to stop their meeting but for Uruha, being with Aoi would be his best remedy. It’s the least he could do for both of them. He closed his eyes and pretended not to see anything.
Aoi pinched the other’s nose, “Tell him he’s stupid. He’ll laugh. Tell him he’s a pain on the ass. Do you know he kicked me out when he first went home? He keeps shouting that he won’t accept anyone but you. Above all, tell him that you’re happy. He’ll cry. That’s enough. Just letting him hear your voice is enough.”
What should I do? Not knowing this person, his smile is enough to melt the frozen me. My mind didn’t want to trust him. I promised Ruki but my heart won’t listen. It’s beating for him. What kind of revenge he’s plotting by his kindness? I’m aware that I’m falling on his hands. I cannot remain not knowing you.
Aoi stared at the speechless Uruha, “I’m calling~” he teasingly said and dialed the phone.
“Hey, I’m not ready…” Uruha tried to stop him.
“Oi, stupid Aoi! Where have you gone?” Byou picked up the phone. Aoi immediately passed it to Uruha.
“Oi, Aoi! How about I twist your neck if you won’t answer in five seconds? One, two, three, four, I’m hanging up…”
“Ah, wait…” Uruha uttered. “Byou-niisan… I’m Uruha…”
Byou couldn’t answer. His mind went blank.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m fine. Please don’t worry about me… Ah…” Uruha looked at Aoi. “I’m happy.”
Aoi smiled warmly.
“Don’t fuck with me…” Byou’s tone scared Uruha.
Uruha bit his lips.
“You said you’ll wait for me…”
“I’m sorry…” Uruha’s tears flooded.
“Oi, what did he said?” Aoi was worried. “Give me the phone…”
Uruha was supposed to hand it over when Byou cried for him, “Come back… No matter how pitiful you became without me, come back! I want you…”
“Byou-niisan…” Uruha smiled. “Yeah, I promise I’ll come back.”
“Hey, can you pass the phone to Aoi?” Uruha did what the other said.
“FUCK YOU!” Byou shouted. “Where the hell are you two? Bring him here, screw you!”
“How ungrateful you are jerk! I can’t bring him there right now! I’ll explain to you when I got home.”
“You don’t need to come home! Just send him here!”
“Shut up,” Aoi closed his phone.
Uruha couldn’t help but to laugh, “How funny you are considering you don’t get along from the start…” He was surprised by his own words.
No matter how long it would take for you to recognize this love, I’ll continue to believe. I’ll continue to live on this agony even to this eternal pain. If love brings happiness, I wonder when I will stop crying. I’d give everything away, if this love was permitted. You don’t have to bother losing what’s precious to you anymore. I’ll protect it even letting my feelings be hidden with this fake smile.
A/N: Believe me, I really want to update so fast but school is killing me. I'm so sorry.