(no subject)
Like...
I don't know, I'm in a weird mood today.
I was just reading Ryan's [Ross] livejournal and like... I don't know... I couldn't even imagine.
People hanging on my words like that...
People I don't even know commenting like they know me so well...
The pressure to say something important.
How much I'd have to keep to myself...
What you just can't tell people...
And like...
Just all of it?
And like..it just fucking hit me I have to apply to college.
fuck, i have to go to college...
I have this application sitting right here, and I just don't want to do it.
Like... that means I have to accept the fact i'm growing up...
And that's the last thing I want.
I like my false immagination and dreams that will never come true.
I like being able to acctually convince myself i'll be a famous singer..or photographer..
When the truth is i'm only mediocre at best.
And that's all I'll ever be.
FUCKING. MEDIOCRE.
I don't know what I'm even sticking around for, there's nothing for me here.
And by here i mean Lynchburg..I'm not threatening suicide or some shit.
I love my friends and all, yeah..but it's just never really felt like home..
LONDON. London felt like home.
what I would give to run away to London.
To change my name, pick up an accent, and start over.
How many of you would miss me anyway?
Would you be suprised when you got a letter in the mail from London saying "Not to worry, I'm alive, I'll keep in touch. Love Elena."
If I were to have an alias I think'd be Elena...
I think i started rambling a while ago...
and I'm sorry, it's very doubtful any of you are still reading.
It's been skipped over.
because it's only fucking mediocre at best.
welcome to my life.
I don't know why a fucking livejournal got me thinking so much...
It all seems pretty trivial now, yeah?
Fuck you Ryan Ross, you make me think.
...
I take that back, it was a nice little vacation from my usual state of mind.
And I'm sorry this isn't the usual LOL PEYTON. HAHAHA. ILY post.
Get over it.
I can't be happy all the time.
I don't know, I'm in a weird mood today.
I was just reading Ryan's [Ross] livejournal and like... I don't know... I couldn't even imagine.
People hanging on my words like that...
People I don't even know commenting like they know me so well...
The pressure to say something important.
How much I'd have to keep to myself...
What you just can't tell people...
And like...
Just all of it?
And like..it just fucking hit me I have to apply to college.
fuck, i have to go to college...
I have this application sitting right here, and I just don't want to do it.
Like... that means I have to accept the fact i'm growing up...
And that's the last thing I want.
I like my false immagination and dreams that will never come true.
I like being able to acctually convince myself i'll be a famous singer..or photographer..
When the truth is i'm only mediocre at best.
And that's all I'll ever be.
FUCKING. MEDIOCRE.
I don't know what I'm even sticking around for, there's nothing for me here.
And by here i mean Lynchburg..I'm not threatening suicide or some shit.
I love my friends and all, yeah..but it's just never really felt like home..
LONDON. London felt like home.
what I would give to run away to London.
To change my name, pick up an accent, and start over.
How many of you would miss me anyway?
Would you be suprised when you got a letter in the mail from London saying "Not to worry, I'm alive, I'll keep in touch. Love Elena."
If I were to have an alias I think'd be Elena...
I think i started rambling a while ago...
and I'm sorry, it's very doubtful any of you are still reading.
It's been skipped over.
because it's only fucking mediocre at best.
welcome to my life.
I don't know why a fucking livejournal got me thinking so much...
It all seems pretty trivial now, yeah?
Fuck you Ryan Ross, you make me think.
...
I take that back, it was a nice little vacation from my usual state of mind.
And I'm sorry this isn't the usual LOL PEYTON. HAHAHA. ILY post.
Get over it.
I can't be happy all the time.