lazy sundays
it's in the 10 o clock hour on a january sunday morning. i have yet to put my feet on the floor yet today, and the bed i've been sleeping in is covered with non bed-like items, such as two coats, my purse, and other various things that i was too lazy to remove before diving under the covers.
there has been a chapter in my life that i've been reluctant to close for quite some time. i've known it needed to happen, but finally i'm here, i've read the last page, and i'm closing the book. i've been over-analyzing how this is supposed to make me feel, because i don't feel anything. i have to come to terms with the fact that i'm done lying about the same thing i've spent the last three years of my life lying about. i want to apologize, but i'm not sorry. i honestly don't regret things, and i'm not going to start now.
even though it's january and it's about to get even colder out, i can't help but feel excited that spring is coming soon, and that will make living in jersey city all the more glorious. i've never been more happy about a place where i've been living. not an inch of me yearns for something better. this is the life i've wanted since i was sixteen.
now that i'm mostly back to normal since the great flood of '07, i'm back in a routine and i feel like i can reach goals for myself if i set them. i feel that if there is ever a time where i have control of myself, this is going to be it. i'm about down to the weight i was in high school, though i'm definitely in much better shape than i was then. none of my clothes fit me right. i need to buy a whole new wardrobe basically, so more than ever i can't wait til summer so i can just live in skirts, tshirts and flip flops for weeks at a time. i'm not even kidding. i really have nothing to wear.
though a true lazy sunday would be nice and relaxing, i don't think i need it quite as much as i'd like to. a lazy sunday morning has been just perfect. it's time to go get things done. i'm still not finished moving back in, i'd like to go for a run, and improvement doesn't happen from sitting on your ass. though it would be awesome if it did.
there has been a chapter in my life that i've been reluctant to close for quite some time. i've known it needed to happen, but finally i'm here, i've read the last page, and i'm closing the book. i've been over-analyzing how this is supposed to make me feel, because i don't feel anything. i have to come to terms with the fact that i'm done lying about the same thing i've spent the last three years of my life lying about. i want to apologize, but i'm not sorry. i honestly don't regret things, and i'm not going to start now.
even though it's january and it's about to get even colder out, i can't help but feel excited that spring is coming soon, and that will make living in jersey city all the more glorious. i've never been more happy about a place where i've been living. not an inch of me yearns for something better. this is the life i've wanted since i was sixteen.
now that i'm mostly back to normal since the great flood of '07, i'm back in a routine and i feel like i can reach goals for myself if i set them. i feel that if there is ever a time where i have control of myself, this is going to be it. i'm about down to the weight i was in high school, though i'm definitely in much better shape than i was then. none of my clothes fit me right. i need to buy a whole new wardrobe basically, so more than ever i can't wait til summer so i can just live in skirts, tshirts and flip flops for weeks at a time. i'm not even kidding. i really have nothing to wear.
though a true lazy sunday would be nice and relaxing, i don't think i need it quite as much as i'd like to. a lazy sunday morning has been just perfect. it's time to go get things done. i'm still not finished moving back in, i'd like to go for a run, and improvement doesn't happen from sitting on your ass. though it would be awesome if it did.