Pretty big entry.
So, I'd like to say before I say anything else, R.I.P. those who got killed in the VT massacre...And my thoughts are with the family and friends of those who got killed or injured. For some reason, ever since that entire thing happened, I've found myself thinking about it a lot. It had a big effect on me, and I'm all the way in NY and I don't know ANYONE from Virginia. But still, that's not the point. I think about it a lot, and it's scary...How something that horrible can happen...When you're doing something sooo...ordinary. As in like, going to class, talking to the same people you do every day....And a couple hours later...That SAME person you were talking to got killed. Just like that. And see, that's...Thats how it always hits me.
I was reading someone else's livejournal that was there and witnessed the whole thing and omg, the poor guy! He was on the other side of the campus when the shootings happened. He went to classes. He was right there. And he's trying to tell people his story and vent, when he's got the news there that are only interested on getting the details. IMO, I think the news should just leave people alone. They've obviously completely shocked, they dont need people sticking cameras and microphones in their faces. What good will that do anyway? He actually said that he was there, and saw a guy snapping pictures of two people holding each other and crying. Just snapping pictures away, making sure he got them at every single angle, right in there faces. That's just...Ugh, I don't even know.
And the fact that they showed Cho's video nationwide wasn't the best idea either, in my opinion. It just gives other people ideas...Which, I've been hearing incidents of.
So here's what's been going on lately around here:
A couple days after that whole thing, we had this Shakespeare thing come and act out parts of plays and whatnot. And on the same day, some kid named Duncan was going at it in study hall. He put a backpack over his lap and just...Yeah. And someone caught him (i heard people talking about Tori doing it, and Cody Hetherly. Idk who though exactly) and he got in trouble. I didn't see it personally, this is all what everyone is talking about, because it spread like wildfire around the school. He didn't get in trouble or anything like...Bad. He was suspended or anything. You think he would be? Whatever, so now everyone knows, and he came to school the next day! I dont believe, I woulda died lol. I mean, if he had to do it that bad, you think he would be smart enough to go to the bathroom or something?! Haha, but he's so embarrassed. So now that everyone knows, he's planning on killing people. ... ... .... .... Yeah.
AND!
Some other kid in the school has a hit list now... *sigh* What I'd give to go somewhere and feel safe for once. This world is so damn corrupt. It's honestly embarrassing knowing that you're a part of humanity sometimes.
So here's what's been going on with me lately. I'm not really being the same. Like, Chris is forcing me to focus on the relationship I have with him, when in reality...I don't want to. I dont want to have anything to do with guys or relationships right now...But I feel myself being really attracted to Jeff. And that's not even the main part of what I'm feeling. I'm making myself be more serious...Because lately a lot of people are thinking that I'm just a stupid idiot being a dumbass all the time. When that's not true at all! I hate being judged by appearance. Yeah. I have blonde hair. I MUST be stupid. People need to grow up. *shakes head* Who was it that said that if you tied a shirt around me I wouldn't be able to get it off? Oh yeah...It was Clay. Those kinds of things almost make me want to cry. Almost. I'm not an idiot.
I'm thinking about things too much. Like to the point where I hate myself for it, but I can't stop. And I'm getting very uhmm...Independent. I'm starting to stand up for the littlest things that tick me off.
Like yesterday in Spanish, my friend Audrey was late for like the 7th time all day. Only like 4 min late. She's the nicest freakin' person on earth and she got in trouble for being late. Antonio said that if she's late again then she can just stay in math all 9th and get all the help she wants. And then he sent an email to Buffone saying that Audrey was a disturbance and that she needs to stop coming in late. So what do I do? I come in with about half of the class today with a pass from Mrs. Buffone telling Antonio that I needed help with my homework. He kinda got the message. I still think more people should've done it.
Yeah, thats pretty much it. I'm all ranted out. Peaceout. <3