(no subject)
well yea,um what can i say? what should i say? um nothing really exciting has happened, you know just the normal. the same old shit haha its funny to think i thought one day everything would change. hmm. tell me something to get my mind off of it, to erase my memory, to erase my pain. whats so special about him? what sets him apart from everyone else? what makes me cling to him? why does he make me cry? and most of all why cant i walk away? i need to, but i just cant. i cant keep crying everynight over what i know could be and what i know we are msising out on. i love how you rub it in my face, shove it down my throat and laugh in my face. there are so many things i could say back but wouldnt dare, because you dont deserve to hear my regrets. i would rather live with the pain then you. please odnt be scared, open your eyes, and look. pick up the phone and call. but its all the same, our lives written out, we are just actors. i dont know what you are going to say, because your pretending. your false, your fake. everything you say you've said before. every action you've made you've done it before. i let myself shattered. i let myself die. help me to be strong, help me to live. i cant stand to look you in the eyes. i cant stand to be so close to you because it kills me. please talk to me, show you care just a little. and i thought it was hard the first time. how could one person, one single person effect me so much? how??? i dont get it, why? one person.. my world revolves around that one person and i thought this was supposed to be a good thing? love? wheres the joy in this? its only getting worse.. i love you and i am afriad i will never stop, i'm afraid i mean nothing to you. i cant stop. i need you, i need you here like you've always been. i need things to go back to the way they were, to the way they used to be. the days when the smiles were neevr ending, the days where we could make love all day then hold eachother all night. i need you now mroe than i ever did and i just cant..