I'm not sure what to put here
So today is one of those days you don't really know what to do with yourself. I'm in a sad/bad mood. I don't really know why it's all kinds of things really just thinking about a lot lately. I really have no clue what I want to do with my life anymore. I never thought that I would be changing my mind about what I wanted to do. I just don't think I really want to teach anymore. I just don't want to grade homework for the rest of my life. I know that sounds silly but there's a lot of things I'm not sure anymore. I think there are things out there that I would be better at but I just don't know what. I want something with a little more freedom also.
So not knowing what I want to do with my life is one thing that's upsetting me. Then there's also school. My grades aren't as good as I would like them to be and I don't know lately I've just felt inadequate. There's so many things in my life that I'm just half assing right now and I'm just not good at anything anymore. I feel like such a disappointment to those who thought I would be better. I don't know I just had it all figured out a year ago and now I'm so confused about everything. I had fun planning everything but when it came down to doing it didn't work out like I had planned. I just wish last summer would have never ended my life was everything I wanted. I had everything I could have wanted. I had a bright future ahead of me where I knew what I wanted to do. I had a boyfriend that I loved and just couldn't get enough of. I had a job that I loved and I loved the people I saw everyday (which that's another issue it's just different now). I was hanging out with Josh and Becca having great talks on rocks and all of that good stuff. I guess I still have the latter but right now I just always have other obligations and I can't just go up to waterfront at 2 in the morning. Maybe things will get better again over the summer.
I'm still looking forward to WKU but not like I was. I just have this feeling that maybe I should just stay in Louisville. I love being home but I probably wouldn't appreciate it if I was there. I'm just scared that I won't be happy there either. I don't know there's a lot of things bothering me right now most of which I can't talk about on here or I'm choosing not to. People annoy me but I know that my biggest problem is myself. There are just things I need to deal with. I really just need to figure out what's going to make me happy. I don't know I just wish I could have been content with what I had. I mean I was talking about everything I had last summer and I could still have all that it's just I've changed.
I guess I should go to walking now. I realized I haven't really updated in a while about life happenings and all that goodness. Maybe I'll do that later. I'm sorry if you were bored enough to read all of this
I hate feeling like this,
I hate growing up!
So not knowing what I want to do with my life is one thing that's upsetting me. Then there's also school. My grades aren't as good as I would like them to be and I don't know lately I've just felt inadequate. There's so many things in my life that I'm just half assing right now and I'm just not good at anything anymore. I feel like such a disappointment to those who thought I would be better. I don't know I just had it all figured out a year ago and now I'm so confused about everything. I had fun planning everything but when it came down to doing it didn't work out like I had planned. I just wish last summer would have never ended my life was everything I wanted. I had everything I could have wanted. I had a bright future ahead of me where I knew what I wanted to do. I had a boyfriend that I loved and just couldn't get enough of. I had a job that I loved and I loved the people I saw everyday (which that's another issue it's just different now). I was hanging out with Josh and Becca having great talks on rocks and all of that good stuff. I guess I still have the latter but right now I just always have other obligations and I can't just go up to waterfront at 2 in the morning. Maybe things will get better again over the summer.
I'm still looking forward to WKU but not like I was. I just have this feeling that maybe I should just stay in Louisville. I love being home but I probably wouldn't appreciate it if I was there. I'm just scared that I won't be happy there either. I don't know there's a lot of things bothering me right now most of which I can't talk about on here or I'm choosing not to. People annoy me but I know that my biggest problem is myself. There are just things I need to deal with. I really just need to figure out what's going to make me happy. I don't know I just wish I could have been content with what I had. I mean I was talking about everything I had last summer and I could still have all that it's just I've changed.
I guess I should go to walking now. I realized I haven't really updated in a while about life happenings and all that goodness. Maybe I'll do that later. I'm sorry if you were bored enough to read all of this
I hate feeling like this,
I hate growing up!