...oh, yeah, silver day, the way the air is water...
...a sun will rise over my City; butterflies in glass cages; and the secret that is sleeplessness: these are my necklaces this morning, or the pearls piercing my ears. I'm not telling, either way, but that's the point of the secret: to keep it
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I know why the once-sung hero Halcion didn't fight the demon off. Because that demon has more than just a physical form, and all Halcion does is cause a physical change. A connoisseur of knowledge and abstract things like the glory of books and wisdom in collection such as yourself already knows the difference between books and knowledge and wisdom. The same principle applies here. A poetic, artistic soul like yourself will never be healed by the materialistic pretenders who only treat the body, and not the total being- because, ironically, you know better, on a deep level. Time to take your life-art up to a new altitude.
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...but I am inclined, after almost a lifetime of insomnia, to believe that there simply is a "crossed wire" in my brain that prevents normal sleep, much like folks who have seizures or other organic disorders or diseases. And I am inclined to believe, after spending most of that lifetime *not* on drugs for my insomnia, that it will take a pharmaceutical mechanism to deal with it. It won't cure it, no; but it certainly helps, and I'm grateful for that. I'll take my triumphs where I can get them. :)
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When I tasted the real meaning of peace... I slept like a baby stone. I say "baby stone" because babies sleep without a stitch of conscience to worry them- they are still pure, still recently come from the sacred incomprehensible, and have not yet walked the black path to adulthood, the black path where we take on the darkness that torments us as grown beings. And stones, well, stones HAVE to sleep well. They just have to.
What gives you peace, Megan?
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I have often asked myself where my peace might be found; not to sound too morbid, or to even suggest the "s-bomb" (if you know what I mean), but I've often thought that the only true peace will be found in death, when the human world has no more hold or demands or accountability for me; when I've left this material world behind for the spiritual one.
While on earth? I've not quite found anything that delivers peace. I have found things *like* peace - the Captain, travel, Home (New Orleans). But peace, real peace? 30 years on earth have yet to teach me that. Perhaps it will take another 30 to understand it, to find it. I'm willing to learn it, to accept it, when I find it. Then perhaps - as you suggest - I'll sleep.
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Try not to think about the worlds as separate in such an absolute way. Spirit and matter are not opposites. Your destiny is "here"- the worlds undivided. What will change is how you interact, how you perceive, when you die. But it appears that what we call "physical life" is needful, or we wouldn't be doing it; this "physical" world is needful for our discovery of our destiny, and the fulfillment of it. Die fulfilled? Your task is done, you're free. Die unfulfilled? The worlds "beyond" can't suffice for you, either. So make the leap to wholeness- the true animistic/heathen wisdom: you'll always be "here" in one form or fashion. Find peace here. Don't shun the world, even a little!
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