sighhh
So I am in Albany and I love it and it makes me sad I'm leaving tomorrow. i miss it here. I miss my awesomely fun and reliable friends. I miss albany as a whole- exploring lark street, washington park, the library, random excursions to thatcher, having an apartment and my own living space and time to just be- also paying my own way entirely- bills etc I was pretty friggin good. My first objective when I go home is to get a job followed directly by an apartment with wendy by september.
I'll be 22 on August 9th and its all sort of shocking- being back here, remembering how together and responsible I've been in the past compared to my complete lack of direction and purpose right now. a lot of it has to do with the whole ros breakup-he's just completely separated himself from me and never wants to talk or anything which I get but he was my best friend here- so its hard. I went to the old apartment and this she man girl laurel answered the door and wasn't too happy to see me- the 1st thing she said was that I had a basket of stuff ros had left me and that I needed to buy cat food and litter for princess. thanks- hello to you too flipping biatch!! I suppose moving away and breaking up with ros has its share of unforseen repercussions-like ppl I don't know hating on me.
the apartment was different- I left a lot of stuff there- two couches, curtains, a convection oven, my cat, 2 fans, a desk etc etc. seeing all of those youngsters taking over my old diggs made me feel old- they just look so little and disoriented- wide eyed and bushy tailed with a twist. and I painted that apartment too- orange and white, yellow, blue, dark purple. I've loved my crazy colorful apartments.
so besides all of this I was on facebook and discovered that jeff's ex-gf sara had a flipping baby- like wtf is going on- everybody is getting married and/or having babies. I feel like a 5 year old in comparison to all of these "grown ups" with real relationships and children and wedding vows!?!? uugh! I'm not remotely in a place to be going there- haha don't worry I'm not jealous just utterly horrified by the entire concept of children + marriage at 21- almost 22. this will probably never change.
-erin and cassie's birthday party is tonight and I'm all ready for it- I'm dressed like a ho at 1 in the afternoon. no not reallly- I just have boob-age which is a rarity- I don't like my breasts getting all of the attention. in fact lack of eye contact has driven me to love turtle necks and the like. besides the dress-I wanna go get indian food- but I'm on manning and its soooo far away ahhhh!!! and I want a coffee from the daily grind. blasted!
---so I got my haircut- basically I have the same haircut from when I was three- bangs, and the length is a little past my shoulders. I dunno why I ever dyed my hair- honestly I guess it was hard to be so pasty and dark haired when your surrounded by tan barbie's. It freaks me out tho- I look so much like my mother with dark hair. besides all of this I joined the gym- the vanderbilt club with my sister and brother- the family membership sooo that means zoomba and yoga classes as well as pooltime this summer/year! yay! mkay enough goodbye my loves
I'll be 22 on August 9th and its all sort of shocking- being back here, remembering how together and responsible I've been in the past compared to my complete lack of direction and purpose right now. a lot of it has to do with the whole ros breakup-he's just completely separated himself from me and never wants to talk or anything which I get but he was my best friend here- so its hard. I went to the old apartment and this she man girl laurel answered the door and wasn't too happy to see me- the 1st thing she said was that I had a basket of stuff ros had left me and that I needed to buy cat food and litter for princess. thanks- hello to you too flipping biatch!! I suppose moving away and breaking up with ros has its share of unforseen repercussions-like ppl I don't know hating on me.
the apartment was different- I left a lot of stuff there- two couches, curtains, a convection oven, my cat, 2 fans, a desk etc etc. seeing all of those youngsters taking over my old diggs made me feel old- they just look so little and disoriented- wide eyed and bushy tailed with a twist. and I painted that apartment too- orange and white, yellow, blue, dark purple. I've loved my crazy colorful apartments.
so besides all of this I was on facebook and discovered that jeff's ex-gf sara had a flipping baby- like wtf is going on- everybody is getting married and/or having babies. I feel like a 5 year old in comparison to all of these "grown ups" with real relationships and children and wedding vows!?!? uugh! I'm not remotely in a place to be going there- haha don't worry I'm not jealous just utterly horrified by the entire concept of children + marriage at 21- almost 22. this will probably never change.
-erin and cassie's birthday party is tonight and I'm all ready for it- I'm dressed like a ho at 1 in the afternoon. no not reallly- I just have boob-age which is a rarity- I don't like my breasts getting all of the attention. in fact lack of eye contact has driven me to love turtle necks and the like. besides the dress-I wanna go get indian food- but I'm on manning and its soooo far away ahhhh!!! and I want a coffee from the daily grind. blasted!
---so I got my haircut- basically I have the same haircut from when I was three- bangs, and the length is a little past my shoulders. I dunno why I ever dyed my hair- honestly I guess it was hard to be so pasty and dark haired when your surrounded by tan barbie's. It freaks me out tho- I look so much like my mother with dark hair. besides all of this I joined the gym- the vanderbilt club with my sister and brother- the family membership sooo that means zoomba and yoga classes as well as pooltime this summer/year! yay! mkay enough goodbye my loves