Fucking Boys...
So, Tuesday night I finally saw someone that I hadn't seen since September. I have had a crush on him since my freshman year and now I'm a senior. Wednesday night after the chorus concert, we went out to dinner with Mego and then he dropped her off so it was just the two of us. When he pulled into my drive-way, it was about 11:30pm. I unbuckled and so did he. He told me that he had missed me and I said the same. We agreed that we had catching up to do and so we started talking...
Eventually, the point came when he looked at me and said, "Sarah, you're killing me." I, being the modest person I am, told him that I had no idea what he was talking about. Then he plopped his head on my shoulder and I slyly turned my head so we got dangerously close. He popped up and said, "SEE! YOU DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" I laughed and he went on to say, "Even though I probably would need it... You probably need it, too, right?" I nodded my head and he said, "Oh, what the heck?" and kissed me.
He pulled away after a bit and kept saying that he's a horrible person. I insisted that I did not think that in the slightest way. I told him that I really like him and for the first time ever, we found ourselves talking about "us". These "moments in the woods" used to happen every once in a while when he would give me rides home, but we would never speak of them. It felt so good to get all of it out in the open. He wanted to make it perfectly clear to me that he was not a player and he would never want to hurt me. He asked if I hated him and when I replied with a "no", he wondered why. I responded with, "I don't know. I just couldn't hate you. I could never see myself hating you." It's as if I know exactly where he's coming from.
He told me that it wouldn't work out between us. I asked him why not and he didn't know. He just got out of this long complicated "relationship" with a girl he wanted so badly, but could never have. He claims that he wants to get over it and move on.
We talked until 2:30 in the morning. I didn't want to leave because I felt so comfortable there in his arms. Besides, who knows when I would ever see him again? I kept saying that I needed to go inside, but I wouldn't move. Right before I left the warmth of his car, I told him that we should not lose touch and that we should hang out more often. Who knows? I thought, Maybe something could come from this...
I wrote him a message communicating my feelings toward him today. He happened to be on-line IMing me the same time he found it. When he was done reading it, he avoided the subject like the plague and I was too embarrassed to bring it up. Finally, he said he needed to go and I said good-bye. Right before he put his away message up, he typed this:
im not ignoring your note so dont think that....i read it....and i know you are honest, thank you for being honest, and thats not all i prolly wanted to say but i have to go right now so i will talk to you soon....dontbe sad...be happy, cuz you know no matter what you alwasy make me smile
Maybe something will happen...
"This was just a moment in the woods- our moment. Shimmering and lovely and sad..."
Eventually, the point came when he looked at me and said, "Sarah, you're killing me." I, being the modest person I am, told him that I had no idea what he was talking about. Then he plopped his head on my shoulder and I slyly turned my head so we got dangerously close. He popped up and said, "SEE! YOU DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" I laughed and he went on to say, "Even though I probably would need it... You probably need it, too, right?" I nodded my head and he said, "Oh, what the heck?" and kissed me.
He pulled away after a bit and kept saying that he's a horrible person. I insisted that I did not think that in the slightest way. I told him that I really like him and for the first time ever, we found ourselves talking about "us". These "moments in the woods" used to happen every once in a while when he would give me rides home, but we would never speak of them. It felt so good to get all of it out in the open. He wanted to make it perfectly clear to me that he was not a player and he would never want to hurt me. He asked if I hated him and when I replied with a "no", he wondered why. I responded with, "I don't know. I just couldn't hate you. I could never see myself hating you." It's as if I know exactly where he's coming from.
He told me that it wouldn't work out between us. I asked him why not and he didn't know. He just got out of this long complicated "relationship" with a girl he wanted so badly, but could never have. He claims that he wants to get over it and move on.
We talked until 2:30 in the morning. I didn't want to leave because I felt so comfortable there in his arms. Besides, who knows when I would ever see him again? I kept saying that I needed to go inside, but I wouldn't move. Right before I left the warmth of his car, I told him that we should not lose touch and that we should hang out more often. Who knows? I thought, Maybe something could come from this...
I wrote him a message communicating my feelings toward him today. He happened to be on-line IMing me the same time he found it. When he was done reading it, he avoided the subject like the plague and I was too embarrassed to bring it up. Finally, he said he needed to go and I said good-bye. Right before he put his away message up, he typed this:
im not ignoring your note so dont think that....i read it....and i know you are honest, thank you for being honest, and thats not all i prolly wanted to say but i have to go right now so i will talk to you soon....dontbe sad...be happy, cuz you know no matter what you alwasy make me smile
Maybe something will happen...
"This was just a moment in the woods- our moment. Shimmering and lovely and sad..."