(no subject)
ever get that feeling where you feel like you are being continuiosly stabbed in the chest with a knife. a knife thats created whenever you think about tomorrow. whenever you think about all the things shes ever said about you. whenever you think about how life could be different. and everytime you think about it. it just gets pounded depper into you. until you feel as though theres a hole straight through your back. and your hearts been stolen. taken away by these thoughts. and then you calm down. relax, and then bits and pieces of your heart start to come back. just to get ripped out again when your on the phone? or in the middle of class. whenever you see the people you hurt. its endless. and then they talk to you. act like its all fine. and it hurts worse. worse. like your dying.
i hate it.
i hate it.