Woody.
Yesterday morning was the worst morning I've ever experienced in my life. I woke up at and had Tyler drive me to the Vet's office. I knew I was not going to be able to drive home afterwards. We pulled up, parked and walked inside to sit with Matt and Amanda waiting for my dad and Woody to get there. As soon as he pulled up they told us they had a room ready for him. I walked outside and helped Woody out of the car and brought him inside. Me, Matt, my dad and Woody walked into our room and as soon as my dad sat Woody on the table the 3 of us started to cry. Even just sitting here now, Im balling. I kissed Woody and hugged him and let him give me kisses for as long as I could. Woody looked confused. He kept looking at us with a look on his face like "Why is everyone crying?" You could tell he was trying to figure it out. The doctor came in and let us know what he was going to do. The tears started to get thicker. He shaved a part of his arm with buzzers and cleaned it. The tears got thicker and my breaths got shorter. He inserted the IV and began to pump the shot into his arm. My cheeks were soaked and I began to get loud. I looked one last time into Woody's eyes and watched them get heavy until he finally fell asleep. I started to yell and ball walking back and fourth. Throwing myself onto the wall to keep myself from collapsing. I yelled "OH MY GOD!! NO!! WOODY!!" The nurse and doctor left. My dad grabbed me and sat me down while I wept harder than I think I ever have in my entire life. I stood up and wrapped my arms around my baby and cried to him telling him how much I loved him while kissing his head. The doctor and nurse came back in to listen to his heart. We stood there watching while the nurse wrapped a blue bandage around his arm and the doctor to finally say "His little heart just stopped beating." I lost all composure and told Woody over and over and over again how much I loved him. I sat in there with him for about 5 minutes before finally leaving. I could not believe what just happened. It was so foregin to me. Leaving him there? Sleeping? Not waking up? Me rubbing his back and him not opening his eyes? I didnt understand it. I didnt want to believe it.
Honestly, I still dont.
The entire day I felt tired and just truely out of it. I cried on and off for a few hours. Passing out, waking up, crying and falling back asleep. I went shopping to try and get my mind off of things and to cheer me up. The new top and shoes did as best of a job as they could esp. since I got amazing deals. As I drove home, I had a horrible time seeing the road through the tears. I went home and slept more. When I woke up our friend of the family had brought over a cocker spaniel statue. As soon as I opened my eyes to see it, I cried. I stood up, took Woody's collar and put it around his neck.
Finally, I knew I had to get out of the house. I had to keep my life moving. We went to a st. patricks day party and played a lot of card games. I was having a pretty good time laughing, smiling and drinking until I walked in the other room to find a group of people talking about putting their pets to sleep. I could not believe I walked up to a conversation like this the day of loosing MY BABY. I walked in the other room, pressed my face into Tyler's chest and tried as hard as I could to slow my tears down. My friends that knew got up and hugged me before I excused myself to the bathroom to compose myself and get back into a "party mode." When I returned I got the room's attention and toasted to Woody. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Today has been just as hard, if not harder. Everything reminds me of him. EVERYTHING. Randomly, I'll just break down and start to cry. Yeah, I've lost people in my life before. My mamaw and papaw and papaw Jack. However, I've never in my life lost someone as important to me as Woody. This is the biggest loss I've ever had to face before and its literally a knife in my heart. I am so heartbroken. 15 years of having something in your life EVERY SINGLE DAY going to just a thought of not seeing him or worrying about him is the worst pain I've ever endured. I keep thinking though, Woody is probably so happy right now. He is probably running up and down stairs (NOT FALLING!!), barking with Roxy (his sister) and all of his other siblings. Able to play and have fun! All of his sores are definatly gone and he is just telling everyone what a wonderful family he had and how LOVED he was.
Woody will forever mean the whole wide world to me and one day when I go to heaven I will hold him and kiss him and tell him how much I missed him and how much I love him.
Just know Woody that you will always be my precious sweet sweet baby no matter WHAT. I love you!
Honestly, I still dont.
The entire day I felt tired and just truely out of it. I cried on and off for a few hours. Passing out, waking up, crying and falling back asleep. I went shopping to try and get my mind off of things and to cheer me up. The new top and shoes did as best of a job as they could esp. since I got amazing deals. As I drove home, I had a horrible time seeing the road through the tears. I went home and slept more. When I woke up our friend of the family had brought over a cocker spaniel statue. As soon as I opened my eyes to see it, I cried. I stood up, took Woody's collar and put it around his neck.
Finally, I knew I had to get out of the house. I had to keep my life moving. We went to a st. patricks day party and played a lot of card games. I was having a pretty good time laughing, smiling and drinking until I walked in the other room to find a group of people talking about putting their pets to sleep. I could not believe I walked up to a conversation like this the day of loosing MY BABY. I walked in the other room, pressed my face into Tyler's chest and tried as hard as I could to slow my tears down. My friends that knew got up and hugged me before I excused myself to the bathroom to compose myself and get back into a "party mode." When I returned I got the room's attention and toasted to Woody. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Today has been just as hard, if not harder. Everything reminds me of him. EVERYTHING. Randomly, I'll just break down and start to cry. Yeah, I've lost people in my life before. My mamaw and papaw and papaw Jack. However, I've never in my life lost someone as important to me as Woody. This is the biggest loss I've ever had to face before and its literally a knife in my heart. I am so heartbroken. 15 years of having something in your life EVERY SINGLE DAY going to just a thought of not seeing him or worrying about him is the worst pain I've ever endured. I keep thinking though, Woody is probably so happy right now. He is probably running up and down stairs (NOT FALLING!!), barking with Roxy (his sister) and all of his other siblings. Able to play and have fun! All of his sores are definatly gone and he is just telling everyone what a wonderful family he had and how LOVED he was.
Woody will forever mean the whole wide world to me and one day when I go to heaven I will hold him and kiss him and tell him how much I missed him and how much I love him.
Just know Woody that you will always be my precious sweet sweet baby no matter WHAT. I love you!