I know it's probably just consolation at this point, but I get how you feel, and feel much the same at times.
I'll note that there might be a question of whether the two are actually related (the alienation, and the desire to avoid conflict). In my personal situation, I tend to see the two as somewhat unrelated, actually. There shouldn't be any reason that being the type of person who wants to avoid conflict precludes you from having friends, unless your friends are of the sort that seek conflict out of their own personality or such. I can see where they could be connected, for sure, but if they are, I'd have to think that there'd be a common thread that'd be a problem too.
The advice I can give is unfortunately difficult and I must admit potentially bad, but it's been the only saving grace I've had. It's the logic of the lone wolf: if you feel like you've been isolated, then it's time to make your own fun. You do have one advantage over me, at least when you're down here, or Minh's up there: you have someone built in who will be willing to do a lot of things with you. There is the risk, admittedly, that doing such will do more to isolate you than less.
Honestly, the most fun I have sometimes are in activities I do by myself, but that means I'm also keen to do them more by myself. I'm actually quite unfond of activities with large groups. I'm quite happy doing things by myself or maybe with only 1-3 others at most.
Of course, there's no real way to avoid conflict completely. At some point, risks simply have to be taken. The best solution is still mitigation: minimize the need for conflict, and try to resolve conflicts quickly and with a minimum of collateral damage (saying things without too much thought for the opposite view, keeping a cool head when the other person ignores the first point, remembering that all sides are generally human, etc.)
I'll note that there might be a question of whether the two are actually related (the alienation, and the desire to avoid conflict). In my personal situation, I tend to see the two as somewhat unrelated, actually. There shouldn't be any reason that being the type of person who wants to avoid conflict precludes you from having friends, unless your friends are of the sort that seek conflict out of their own personality or such. I can see where they could be connected, for sure, but if they are, I'd have to think that there'd be a common thread that'd be a problem too.
The advice I can give is unfortunately difficult and I must admit potentially bad, but it's been the only saving grace I've had. It's the logic of the lone wolf: if you feel like you've been isolated, then it's time to make your own fun. You do have one advantage over me, at least when you're down here, or Minh's up there: you have someone built in who will be willing to do a lot of things with you. There is the risk, admittedly, that doing such will do more to isolate you than less.
Honestly, the most fun I have sometimes are in activities I do by myself, but that means I'm also keen to do them more by myself. I'm actually quite unfond of activities with large groups. I'm quite happy doing things by myself or maybe with only 1-3 others at most.
Of course, there's no real way to avoid conflict completely. At some point, risks simply have to be taken. The best solution is still mitigation: minimize the need for conflict, and try to resolve conflicts quickly and with a minimum of collateral damage (saying things without too much thought for the opposite view, keeping a cool head when the other person ignores the first point, remembering that all sides are generally human, etc.)
Hope you can find your way on this one.
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