2004: An Elegy Odyssey

[mylostelegy]

So I've stared at this screen for several days wanting to post something. And when it was all said and done I knew I'd be posting tonight. I posted last New Year, so why not? I read back on that post and I'm suprised at my unbridled optimism (or whatever facsimile it was). And one thing remains the same. I don't know what to think about this

Comments

[kryptique]

Strange, I've never really thought of the New Year as a couples holiday, although you know, it would've been nice to have someone to kiss as the hour struck. I've always thought of it as a chance to look over my immediate past, reflect a bit, and change or set new goals for myself. I don't know that I believe in "resolutions" per se and certainly I've way overdone it in the past, resulting in giving up entirely on any of them within days...however, I think the changing of the year is a nice touchstone as I get older to stop, re-evaluate, think things over, and at least attempt to make some changes where I see fit.
I've always watched Orion and thought of the connection of all things, remember some song from I think a Disney movie, not too sure...Orion's arms are wide enough to bring us both together...or something like that. I like the idea of interconnectedness somehow, makes me feel a bit less alone on this crazy spinning orb.
I'm not sure anyone ever finds the answers, but I think sometimes the questions are what matter more. Small comfort eh? Drives me loony at times too, wouldn't it be nicer and neater and easier with clearcut answers to things, that remained the same, universal truths? Honestly I think the questions and the answers alike are in a constant state of flux however.
Numb doesn't sound too good and I'm a bit worried about you there, can't do much I realize but I do at least care you know. Numb sounds almost worse than blue in some ways...eh well, my only advice there is to at least try to change what doesn't work. Even if it still doesn't work, at least there'll be a different view, and perhaps in time new windows and new doors will open. Think of the butterfly flapping its wings you know, even a tiny change might have increasingly effective results.
I think you can like yourself and not love yourself, in fact I know that's true. As to needing someone to love you to love yourself, personally I don't think that works. You see, love's an exchange, and someone can love you like crazy but if you can't accept that and find yourself worthy of their love, it doesn't ultimately work...yeah that one I know painfully from my own experience.
I can't give you any answers, only suggestions and even those are from me not you n thus inherently flawed...but well, this much I've foudn in my life anyway. You can be wiht someone and be truly loved, and yet still be alone...I think we're all more alone than any of us might like to accept, most of the time, and it's those moments of kinship and bonding with another to treasure, because they are so very fleeting.