(no subject)
so, i got back to statesboro last night and i am bored out of my mind. i packed and cleaned and have been doing nothing today other than that. i wrote matt a letter also, which is one thing i was hoping i'd never have to do after yesterday. shit sucks. i hate my short hair and want the longer hair back right now, hopefully it wont take too long to grow. i am about to go see Dukes of Hazzard with Ben. fun fun. i am beginning to realize why i hate this place so much, and living by yourself is no fun, this sucks, its boring...give me a rooooommmaaatttteee!! maybe things will be better when everyone else is back in town and school starts and i'll be working and everything, ugh. i'm starting to smoke again, sorry britt. i get bored and upset and just feel the need. i wont be addicted though, i refuse. so, josh never called me, i wanted to see him, or at least say hi to him and reassure him that i love him and i AM his friend even if he thinks differently....it's ok. I miss the hell out of matty. gah. i don't even know what to do anymore. i miss sarah and britt like crazy. they are the only people i even hung out with this entire summer. i'm a loser. britt transferring to west ga is starting to sound better and better by the minute. but kennesaw does too still. i dunno. life has too many decisions and obstacles and i'm sick of it. i had to call my mom today just to ask her how to get my internet working and yeah thats sad. i rely on people too much, i have alot of growing up to do and alot of responsibilities that i need to learn how to manage on my own. without help. i have also realized i am such a homebody. oh gosh. im gettin outta here, i gotta straighten my hurrr because ben is bout to be here. yadda yadda. i wish i had a home phone and not just a cell phone so that matthew can call me, now all we have is letters and my once a month visit. fuck. i love u guys, yes i do.