(no subject)
I fuckin hate things right now. I pissed my dad off I guess. The funny thing is, 1) I have no clue how and 2) He is telling me that I was talkin a bunch of shit at him when I came home, but I was talking to my sister. He is a total fucking douche bag, and I dont know how much longer I can deal with all of his shit. Lately I have been feeling so down. Shit just keeps going down hill for me. I love jason, and I know I will never find someone as good as him even if all i do is look for another guy all of my life. I just dont know what I want. I want to be with him, but I want space. I want him to love me, and I want to love him. I want to be held, but I want to be on my own. sounds like I dont know anything, but I do know that jason is my whole world. He is my everything and I could not ever loose him. I just dont know what's up with us. I think maybe I am just too needy, or I am too much of a bitch or I dont know. I am just so up and down right now. Now my mom has went and made another mess for me to deal with. fuck I am sick of all of this bull shit in my life. I just want it all to end. I guess the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. I done with school. I am done with my neighbors. I am done with my parents. I am done with fucking everything. My dad is still being a total fucking ass hole. I cant take it any longer. I feel like I just keep falling lower and lower. Once in awhile I am tircked by good day. My life is falling apart before me and I feel helpless. Its like a rug that keeps unraveling faster and faster. You see the end, but there is nothing you can do about it. I love you all, you are so great to me. I just feel like I dont deserve any of you. thanks for all of the great times you have given me. I will never forget how wonderful you made me feel.
bailey
bailey