memories.

[mylittleoasis]

I can't believe I haven't written in here since august. yeah so, this is my senior year. i still can't believe that next year and i am going to have to grow up and go to college. most of me doesnt want to go and half of me wants to get the hell out of here. i still dont know where i want to go. i dont want to go to any public schools around here. i think i want to go to randolph macon. i went there on a visit last week and the girl that showed me around loved it so much that it made me love the school just as much as her. i am really going to miss virginia beach and my mommy.

weird thing. yesterday i went to my grandmother's and i was looking at all the pictures of my papa and i was thinking about all the wonderful memories i have of him. and then later that night will and i went to borders and got coffee and crap. and my papa's best friend was there too!!!! i felt so horrible that i forgot his name. anyways, he reminded me so much of papa. and he talked about how much he missed him and how he goes to see him all the time. i could tell that my papa meant a lot to him. it was soo sweet. and then when he left he gave me a big hug! and then after he left i just broke down. i dont know why. but i guess i just miss him so much and i wish that he could see me grow up and i could talk to him. he is the smartest man ive ever known and i just wish that he was still alive. but at least now he isnt suffering and that he is happy in heaven.

i got to see holly this weekend. that made me happy. i miss all the fun times we used to have with eachother. and i just want more of those before we go off to college.

to jesssica: i am praying for you and i know that everything is going to be okay.