(no subject)
yeah so, ive been in the hospital this week. wasnt too much fun. they thought i had a heart attack. but no, i have myocarditis. sounds complicated.
i cant expect everyone to be like me. just because i would do something a certain way, doesnt mean everyone else would too. i just hate how bc i have a boyfriend and family that means that i dont need you. which is crazy bc you mean everything to me. my mom even said the times that you came to the hospital, was the times that i was the happiest. i dont want you to think that you are messing something up between me and will bc i cant handle not being around you. and i dont want you to "not get in the way". thats dumb, you would never get in the way. i want you to call to ask to hang out with me bc you know that i would drop everything to hang out with you. i dont want to be that kind of girl that just ditches her friends when she gets a guy. i love you so much and i dont want things to change. i know you said change is good but to me it isnt. i hate change. i dont want our friendship to fall apart. right now, i cant do much to help our relationship, but when i get better i want to be around you more. and it kills me that you dont come to me with your problems anymore. i want to be there for you. thats what best friends are all about. to be there through thick and thin. and i hate that you didnt know that i needed you through this bc i did. but i do know that if you had known you would have been here. im sorry for everything. i love you.
i cant expect everyone to be like me. just because i would do something a certain way, doesnt mean everyone else would too. i just hate how bc i have a boyfriend and family that means that i dont need you. which is crazy bc you mean everything to me. my mom even said the times that you came to the hospital, was the times that i was the happiest. i dont want you to think that you are messing something up between me and will bc i cant handle not being around you. and i dont want you to "not get in the way". thats dumb, you would never get in the way. i want you to call to ask to hang out with me bc you know that i would drop everything to hang out with you. i dont want to be that kind of girl that just ditches her friends when she gets a guy. i love you so much and i dont want things to change. i know you said change is good but to me it isnt. i hate change. i dont want our friendship to fall apart. right now, i cant do much to help our relationship, but when i get better i want to be around you more. and it kills me that you dont come to me with your problems anymore. i want to be there for you. thats what best friends are all about. to be there through thick and thin. and i hate that you didnt know that i needed you through this bc i did. but i do know that if you had known you would have been here. im sorry for everything. i love you.