live journal?
Since MySpace I guess I have pretty much forgoetten about livejournal, or my real journal for that matter... hell, mabye even myself.
What is this roller coaster that I call life? I would sure like to know.
Yesterday Dwayne calls me ALLLL excited: "Baby I found a job making over $200,000 a year, and it's tax free money!" he exclaims. "Really honey, what would you be doing?" I say. "Well, it's not it this country," he says, " I would be working as a civilian over in kwait, or somewhere like that, guarding gates." I took a breath and said, "Ok, well are we really going to do this?" And he said, "Well I'm thinking about it." and then I said, "Well I guess I can't go to school over there." and he said, "Well I dont think you can go with me." My heart sank... "Well how long will you be gone?" I asked. "A year at a time," he answered, "I'll get to come home one month out of every year." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Is it really that easy for him to just be away from me for that long? He said that we would get married before he went, if he even does go. Then last night he said that he wouldnt go unless I could go. Today he said that we might be able to go together and make double the money. I dont know if i would really be the BEST gate guarder. I know one thing for sure, if he does decide to go without me, I am Alabama bound. I hate it here and I would not stay one second longer if it were not for Dwayne. Sometimes I just don't know about him and his ludacris ideas. Everything up in the air all the time. He is such a dreamer. I doubt this will even happen, but the thought of it still makes my stomach turn. If it does happen and I do get to go and work that will be a hell of a lot of money. If I get to go with him and don't get to work, at least we will still be together, but what in the hell am i going to do with myself. If he dose go and I dont get to, there is a positive note that I will get to come home to Sweet ol' alabam and be with my friends and Family, but I just dont know if I could handel being without him for sooo long. He said he wouldn't go without me, but he is only thinking of our future moneywise and I would only be foolish not to let him go. Plus he would end up hating me in the long run for not letting him do something he wants to do... but I just hate this! And it's nothing like people in the military. At least they get to live on base, with women who are going through the same exact thing and have access to counseling and activities and all that jazz. What on earth would I do with myself? sigh. MEN!
What is this roller coaster that I call life? I would sure like to know.
Yesterday Dwayne calls me ALLLL excited: "Baby I found a job making over $200,000 a year, and it's tax free money!" he exclaims. "Really honey, what would you be doing?" I say. "Well, it's not it this country," he says, " I would be working as a civilian over in kwait, or somewhere like that, guarding gates." I took a breath and said, "Ok, well are we really going to do this?" And he said, "Well I'm thinking about it." and then I said, "Well I guess I can't go to school over there." and he said, "Well I dont think you can go with me." My heart sank... "Well how long will you be gone?" I asked. "A year at a time," he answered, "I'll get to come home one month out of every year." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Is it really that easy for him to just be away from me for that long? He said that we would get married before he went, if he even does go. Then last night he said that he wouldnt go unless I could go. Today he said that we might be able to go together and make double the money. I dont know if i would really be the BEST gate guarder. I know one thing for sure, if he does decide to go without me, I am Alabama bound. I hate it here and I would not stay one second longer if it were not for Dwayne. Sometimes I just don't know about him and his ludacris ideas. Everything up in the air all the time. He is such a dreamer. I doubt this will even happen, but the thought of it still makes my stomach turn. If it does happen and I do get to go and work that will be a hell of a lot of money. If I get to go with him and don't get to work, at least we will still be together, but what in the hell am i going to do with myself. If he dose go and I dont get to, there is a positive note that I will get to come home to Sweet ol' alabam and be with my friends and Family, but I just dont know if I could handel being without him for sooo long. He said he wouldn't go without me, but he is only thinking of our future moneywise and I would only be foolish not to let him go. Plus he would end up hating me in the long run for not letting him do something he wants to do... but I just hate this! And it's nothing like people in the military. At least they get to live on base, with women who are going through the same exact thing and have access to counseling and activities and all that jazz. What on earth would I do with myself? sigh. MEN!