take my hand and let's fly
take my hand and let’s fly
650 words | pg
- shinee + snsd ; jonghyun + jessica
sometimes she wonders how different it would have been.
a/n: this is what happens when you don't write for a gazillion years.
She sits on the bed quietly while watching him, eyes never leaving his face, marveling at its perfection even though she sees it on a daily basis. He talks and talks endlessly on the phone, tone firm and harsh, but his touch fine and gentle as he reaches out with the tips of his fingers to brush past her chin and towards her cheek.
Jessica smiles a lazy one, the lopsided kind that warms Jonghyun’s heart every time, and he picks her up while balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder, wrapping her legs around his waist.
“Alright, that would be wonderful, thank you,” he finally finishes, as she intertwines her fingers with his, but somehow instead of lifting her spirits, it just makes her feel more melancholic.
“So from now till five thirty, which is approximately six hours or so, you have me all to yourself,” he promises, chucking his phone into his bag after switching it off. She loves this about him, how he can be extremely professional at work and when he’s not, he pushes everything away and only focuses on her.
“I don’t know what I want to do.” She almost never has this kind of time with him and she finds herself rendered speechless when he tells her this. Jonghyun smiles lovingly and presses his lips to her forehead, somehow more intimate than anything.
“How about we just cuddle?”
“I’d like that.”
Yes, she thinks, this is how it’s supposed to be. Not depressing, tearful goodbyes but tender, exquisite. Jessica loses herself in his arms, with him pulling the covers over them and tucking both of them in ardently, whispering comforting and familiar words in her ears, draping his arm around her waist as she listens to his heart beating rhythmically.
She looks over at Jonghyun’s bags, then back at him again with flashes of pain in her eyes that he has only learnt to spot recently after countless years of growing up with her and yet being blind to her true feelings.
“Do you really have to leave?” The question is rhetorical, of course, and Jonghyun doesn’t answer, instead he just traces the bare flesh underneath her shirt, and then up her spine and back down again, a hollow attempt to distract her and direct her thoughts towards a different direction.
A tear rolls down her cheeks and he hurries to kiss it away. “You’ll be fine,” he whispers, knowing that she is not as strong as he wants her to be, but pretends anyway, because if he’s not going to try, who is she going to depend on?
She buries her face in his neck and searches for warmth in him.
It’s going to be hard, she thinks, separating herself from him for a year at least, to not be able to call him daily because it’s much too expensive. She grips his shoulders and kisses him hard, out of mixed feelings of desperation and helplessness.
Jonghyun welcomes the kiss and turns it into a more delicate one instead, taming the kiss like he has always tamed her. He is the one to pull away first, sweeping her hair to the side so he sees her face clearly in the light.
Then he crushes her to his chest and fights the tears choking up his throat.
Sometimes she wonders how different it would have been. How would it be like if she chose the same road as him, to become an idol just like him. Would things be any more difficult? Would they be easier? Would it make much of a difference at all?
“I’ll try to visit often, I promise.”
Jessica nods. It’s good enough for her.
They close their eyes and fall asleep in each other’s arms, forgetting about everything else but themselves because now is what they only have, and what they will have for a long, long while.