So, interesting week.
My grandma had a stroke. My whole family is there to take care of her, except for me. I won't tell you exactly how I feel about this, because a) words do not suffice and b) it would take a lot of telling to get it all out, and I no longer have the time or energy. But what can be said is this: this woman raised me since I was born. I have lived on her cooking, her care, her stories, and her love. Her whole life has been devoted to her family. She left Colombia with barely three years of education, abandoning her mother for my grandfather and taking my infant mother to America. Since then, she has spent most of her life cooped up in California with a brief stint in Florida and a few return visits to her home country. Just recently, she has been making an effort to learn as much as she can, all the information she never had the opportunity to learn before. And this is as sobering a sign as any that her life is coming to an end, with all her dreams and desires long since left behind as a distant memory. I should be there. I should fucking be there.
Instead, here I am, reading Hegel and film theory, and the few times I manage to pierce through the obfuscation, all I can see is useless information pouring down my gullet like a mayonnaise avalanche.
I don't know exactly how it happened, but now it's 2 a.m. on Valentine's Day and almost none of the work I should have accomplished has been and I have absolutely nothing prepared for tomorrow, which will mark the first time I have ever had the luxury of sharing Valentine's with that special someone, after two and a half official predecessors. And I have nothing. The salt into the wound is the fact I'll be spending most of tomorrow trying desperately to finish the reading I never seemed to be able to get around to.
On the bright side, I have a new video game. Woot.......
Well. At least it's snowing. Sorta.
Instead, here I am, reading Hegel and film theory, and the few times I manage to pierce through the obfuscation, all I can see is useless information pouring down my gullet like a mayonnaise avalanche.
I don't know exactly how it happened, but now it's 2 a.m. on Valentine's Day and almost none of the work I should have accomplished has been and I have absolutely nothing prepared for tomorrow, which will mark the first time I have ever had the luxury of sharing Valentine's with that special someone, after two and a half official predecessors. And I have nothing. The salt into the wound is the fact I'll be spending most of tomorrow trying desperately to finish the reading I never seemed to be able to get around to.
On the bright side, I have a new video game. Woot.......
Well. At least it's snowing. Sorta.