Try Not To Cry...

[mylifeisastage]

Someone wrote this to me...

I’d like to run away at least once again before you leave.

I’d like to talk to you more about Boardom.

I’d like to make a scrapbook of us, together, before you leave.

I’d like you to tell me how much I mean to you.

I’d like to know what is going on in your head sometimes.

I’d like to go sit at the library like we used to, for at least an hour, and read or work on something while you read.

I’d like you to know that I really wanted to come to your grandpa’s thing tonight (he’s a cool guy), but I didn’t get dressed today at all because I felt like crap emotionally and physically. Now I feel bad about not going and not seeing you today.

I’d like to hold and kiss you for hours like we used to.

I’d like to cry with you about you leaving, because we’re not going to when you actually leave, because it should be happy.

I’d like to beat Mario Sunshine with you.

I’d like you to know I cherished the voice mail that you left me when I was up north that one time like nothing else; all it said was “I love you”.

I’d like you to know that I’d die for you.

I’d like to give you another chance at Monopoly.

I’d like to move to NYC with you.

I’d like you to wake me up someday.

I’d like to show you cool stuff about your computer.

I’d like to get your NES to work 100%.

I’d like you to know that I still remember how those socks feel.

I’d like it if your mom would take some good pictures of you and me, together, happy.

I’d like your mom to know how much I appreciate her kindness and trust.

I’d like to never hurt you again.

I’d like you to never hurt me again.

I’d like to read the same book as you at the same time, so we can talk about what we think about it.

I’d like to do that journal/correspondence thing we found at Barnes and Noble.

I’d like to learn how to dance with you, because I know I’m not comfortable enough with anyone else.

I’d like you to know how much I’ve grown because of you.

I’d like to not be so touchy.

I’d like you to know that my touchiness only comes out of fear of losing my best friend.

I’d like you to know you are my best friend.

I’d like you to know that you are one out of only a handful of people that mean shit to me in this world.

I’d like to do something crazy with you.

I’d like you to know that I’m very insecure.

I’d like you to know that when I sleep with you it means something to me.

I’d like you to know that just hearing your voice makes me feel better.

I’d like you to know that you sing beautifully and more importantly with skill and poise.

I’d like you to know that the only thing that comes close to how beautiful your voice sounds, is you.

I’d like you to know that I mean that, and I can say that with truth and backing, that no other person on this earth possesses, because I love you and really know you.

I’d like you to know that your beauty radiates from within, from your intelligence and character.

I’d like you to know that I never once have lost hope in you.

I’d like you to know that I’ve had dreams of us being married with children.

I’d like you to know that I’ve had dreams about how terrible my life would be without you.

I’d like you to know that I always knew you were something special, from the moment I first saw you.

I’d like you to know that this entry isn’t just me trying to suck up to you.

I’d like you to ask me to learn a song for you so that I’d find some motivation to do something musically.

I’d like you to know that I still cry sometimes when I look at the pictures/scrapbook thing you gave me.

I’d like you to know that I will keep the sleeping playlist forever.

I’d like you to know that it will always be almost as soothing to me as you in my arms.

I’d like you to know that if I think hard enough I can still feel where you slapped me in the office that one time.

I’d like you to be hugging me right now.

I’d like you to know you inspire me.

I’d like you to know you astonish me.

I’d like you to use up your full potential.

I’d like you not to ever forget me.

I’d like you to know that my love for you has become unconditional.

I’d like to know that yours for me is the same.

I’d like it to be ok for you to tell me if it isn’t.

I’d like you to know that Harry will miss you.

I’d like you to know I don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this.

I’d like you to know I understand how stressed and afraid you are.

I’d like you to really tell me about it and cry on my shoulder about it.

I’d like you to know that I can’t turn my head more than a few inches at a time when looking at my room without finding something directly connected to you.

I’d like there to be spontaneity in our relationship again.

I’d like you to know that I think Harry loves your blanket as much as I do (he is in a ball on it right now).

I’d like you to know that my musical collection will be forever changed by you.

I’d like to see you today.

I’d like you to know how distressed I am right now.

I’d like you to hold me.

I’d like you to know that I cried when we watched Eternal Sunshine.

I’d like you to know that the night we watched that was one of the best nights ever.

I’d like you to know that I’m scared to death that I’ll never find someone else.

I’d like you to know that I don’t think I’ll ever connect on the level I connect with you again.

I’d like you to tell me what to do.

I’d like you to know I’m a paranoid idiot.

I’d like you to know that I’m not sure if that when I hear Wicked it’s the awesomeness of the music or the fact that I always can hear you singing it that makes me tear up.

I’d like you to help me focus.

I’d like you to know that you’ll be a hard act to follow.

I want you to want me.

I’d like to stare into your eyes and not say anything for a while.

I’d like you to know I appreciate your honesty.

I’d like you to know that as far as I know, you’ve been the most honest person to me in my life.

I’d like you to know how Harry’s eyes light up and ears perk up when I say your name.

I’d like to be attractive to you.

I’d like you to come to me when you read this entry.

I’d like to one day be able to bond with you musically like you and Justin do.

I’d like you to know how fun and rewarding it was taking care of you when your knee was messed up.

I’d like you to know you’re staring at me from one of the pictures on my desk.

I’d like to have enough money to blow on gas so we can drive around singing and talking like we used to.

I’d like you to know I love you more than anyone else is capable of loving you, in a different and unique way that no one else can reproduce.

I’d like you to know I didn’t go back and reread this at all - it is raw, just what came out of me.