uhm
For some reason, which is probably not a right reason, each time I am with another person in a small, close, silent place, I make a soft sound like I am eating something delicious. It’s quiet but unwelcome, like the sound art connoisseurs make when they see an endangered painting in its natural habitat - which isn’t a museum like most art connoisseurs think it is. And it isn’t their fancy New York City loft apartments either. It’s underneath the back porch that my grandfather built with his hands sixty years ago where baby sculptures and paintings are hatched and only the lucky and talented artists know where to find them and sit sit sit till they crack open into Thinkers or Mona Lisas.
That soft purring noise that art critics make when they find a raw, unready Starry Night hiding under my grandparents' rotting porch is the noise that I make when I’m in the women’s bathroom at a fancy restaurant and me and that other lady are washing our hands together, facing the mirror, both pretending not to know exactly what the other is thinking. They are soft contented sighs when I’m really not contented at all. It makes me scared of what I would do with real contentment and it has me second-guessing when I haven't seen you all day how I feel to have each finger push into my back and your stomach inhale full force into mine and our belly buttons together make the center of gravity so I go long and soft “mmm” in your ear. It can't be the same sigh, but it might be the same reason and in both cases, it is probably not the right one.
That soft purring noise that art critics make when they find a raw, unready Starry Night hiding under my grandparents' rotting porch is the noise that I make when I’m in the women’s bathroom at a fancy restaurant and me and that other lady are washing our hands together, facing the mirror, both pretending not to know exactly what the other is thinking. They are soft contented sighs when I’m really not contented at all. It makes me scared of what I would do with real contentment and it has me second-guessing when I haven't seen you all day how I feel to have each finger push into my back and your stomach inhale full force into mine and our belly buttons together make the center of gravity so I go long and soft “mmm” in your ear. It can't be the same sigh, but it might be the same reason and in both cases, it is probably not the right one.