Can't Sleep...
I was excited too. I got to bed by 11:15pm, was done reading by 11:45pm, and my mind started waking up and getting restless. Was praying to God trying to spend time with Him, but I kept getting scattered. I know he was with me the whole time, i just couldn't hear him and i wasn't falling asleep. I once heard my friend say he had to journal his
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I truly believe that all you have written about God will take care of. Please don't think you are some how farther back in your walk because you have realized more obstacles in your way. Jessie: you are the most influential female in my life! You are absolutely smart, strong, and God-loving! I see it as a blessing that you have realized / captured / and then offered to God your brokenness and doubts. :-) Each time i want to say how much you mean to me, God just comes blasting through and i can't help but tell you how close He is to you and i!!! You may never know the excitement and truth i feel as i type these words, and that may relate back to trust -- but that's ok.
I accept being a huge part of the problem in your life. We were very involved for a long time, and it has been significant to us since day 1. Look, any time you want to "step on my toes" by expressing feelings toward me, i give you permission to do that and even use my name. Remember when i asked you to not do that? Well, i want to ruin every negative conception you and i have formed, and you need to know how much i love you and why i love you.
I just realized i'm relying too much on my words, so i'll go now and let God do the work right! :-)
"Father in heaven, you are so perfect for me. I pray that You will ruin my old life and draw me closer now that i have been reborn in Your Spirit. Thank you for being so much more; always more! Jesus, please bless this note and overflow in those who read this. May You wrap Jessie up in Your arms and saturate her with Your Spirit. All this is for Your glory, Jesus, and i am placing my faith in You to move off this page into the hearts of those reading, supplying them with peace and comfort; trust and faith; discernment and a love so overpowering that it drives us to our knees. May Your presence fill the room and Your whispers shake us out of our chairs, so that we have no other choice but to fully seek You in that moment. Take us in, Jesus. I love you and want nothing more but to please You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Your son, Jacob."
I love you, Jessie. If you feel led, will you speak with me soon? I'll be praying for you ;-D
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