My Children Will Never Hear of Santa Claus
Those people used to me will understand that at leat 3/4th of this entry is extreme sarcasm of the Swiftian kind. Those not used to me...well, at least 3/4th of this entry is extreme sarcasm of the Swiftian kind.
Except that last line. That's solid.
We just finished watching 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' on TV a little while ago, and it led me to a few startling conclusions: Santa is prejudiced against color, hypocritical, and a Socialist.
Santa refused to let Rudolph fly in his sled team because of his red nose. That is his only reason; he was impressed with Rudolph's flying abilities, but said no because of the color of his nose. I bet Santa hates drunks and people with acne, too.
Santa claims to love everybody. All the children in the world, no matter how rich or poor, if they're black or white, American or European, get a present from Santa on Christmas day because he loves them so much. But to downright refuse to accept a red-nosed reindeer, an elf who wants to be a dentist, and a whole island full of so called 'misfit toys'? That's just wrong!
Santa doesn't tolerate individualism or differences in those around him, be it genetic (like a red nose) or preferential (like the desire to study dentistry). He wants those around him, including his employees, to 'fit in'. Case in point: when the Elf Foreman told Herbie to (and I quote) “go to elf practice and learn to wiggle his ears and chuckle warmly and hee-hee and ho-ho like all the other elves”, it was a direct order from Santa himself. All those under Socialistic rule must conform or face the (often times deadly) consequences. While Santa never executes his employees for nonconformity, he does terminate their employment and has them ostracized from society.
Another thing I realized was how contradictory children's Christmas literature and entertainment is. Last night, we watched the original 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. Between 'Grinch' and 'Rudolph', there are two conflicting reasons for Christmas. 'Grinch' teaches that Christmas is about love, kindness and compassion for each other, while 'Rudolph' teaches that Christmas is all about getting presents.
After the Grinch steals all the gifts and decorations from the Whos down in Whoville, he goes back to his cave and waits to hear the Whos start crying over their lost Christmas. He hears instead the joyful singing of Whos celebrating their love and friendship for each other. The Grinch then says in response, “It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!” A few minutes later, the narrator says, “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe, just maybe, it's a little bit more.”
'Rudolph', however, is an entirely different story. At dinner before Christmas Eve, Santa receives the weather report and learns that a huge storm is heading in their direction. He puts down the paper, dejected and upset, and says “Well, that settles it. I won't be able to deliver the presents this year. We're going to have to cancel Christmas.”
One story teaches that Christmas isn't about getting things, while another teaches the direct opposite. Watched in conjunction, these two programs could lead to a very confusing understanding of Christmas.
In light of these revelations, I have decided not to let my future children watch or read any Christmas story that is not the one from the New Testament. You know, the one where God sends His Son so that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life? That's the story my kids will hear.
Ok, and 'A Charlie Brown Christmas', but only because it's so gosh darned cute!
Except that last line. That's solid.
We just finished watching 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' on TV a little while ago, and it led me to a few startling conclusions: Santa is prejudiced against color, hypocritical, and a Socialist.
Santa refused to let Rudolph fly in his sled team because of his red nose. That is his only reason; he was impressed with Rudolph's flying abilities, but said no because of the color of his nose. I bet Santa hates drunks and people with acne, too.
Santa claims to love everybody. All the children in the world, no matter how rich or poor, if they're black or white, American or European, get a present from Santa on Christmas day because he loves them so much. But to downright refuse to accept a red-nosed reindeer, an elf who wants to be a dentist, and a whole island full of so called 'misfit toys'? That's just wrong!
Santa doesn't tolerate individualism or differences in those around him, be it genetic (like a red nose) or preferential (like the desire to study dentistry). He wants those around him, including his employees, to 'fit in'. Case in point: when the Elf Foreman told Herbie to (and I quote) “go to elf practice and learn to wiggle his ears and chuckle warmly and hee-hee and ho-ho like all the other elves”, it was a direct order from Santa himself. All those under Socialistic rule must conform or face the (often times deadly) consequences. While Santa never executes his employees for nonconformity, he does terminate their employment and has them ostracized from society.
Another thing I realized was how contradictory children's Christmas literature and entertainment is. Last night, we watched the original 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. Between 'Grinch' and 'Rudolph', there are two conflicting reasons for Christmas. 'Grinch' teaches that Christmas is about love, kindness and compassion for each other, while 'Rudolph' teaches that Christmas is all about getting presents.
After the Grinch steals all the gifts and decorations from the Whos down in Whoville, he goes back to his cave and waits to hear the Whos start crying over their lost Christmas. He hears instead the joyful singing of Whos celebrating their love and friendship for each other. The Grinch then says in response, “It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!” A few minutes later, the narrator says, “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe, just maybe, it's a little bit more.”
'Rudolph', however, is an entirely different story. At dinner before Christmas Eve, Santa receives the weather report and learns that a huge storm is heading in their direction. He puts down the paper, dejected and upset, and says “Well, that settles it. I won't be able to deliver the presents this year. We're going to have to cancel Christmas.”
One story teaches that Christmas isn't about getting things, while another teaches the direct opposite. Watched in conjunction, these two programs could lead to a very confusing understanding of Christmas.
In light of these revelations, I have decided not to let my future children watch or read any Christmas story that is not the one from the New Testament. You know, the one where God sends His Son so that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life? That's the story my kids will hear.
Ok, and 'A Charlie Brown Christmas', but only because it's so gosh darned cute!