The Epic Drunken Journey
by Dan Medina
Preface: Alright, this will be a lengthy story because I want to explain everything that happened.
So Nate, Tyler, Tcham, Shigg, and I all show up at Karens house where the lights are off to make it seem like no one was there. We all went down to the basement where everything appeared cool, and it was. I came across my new drinking buddy, Kyle, and he was so kind to let me put some everclear in my gatorade, the term some used loosely. I finished that while playing a game of pool against Dustin and winning.
Later on I'm walking around drunk looking for another drink and then I got cory to show me where the cups were, at first he was skeptical about it because Karen didn't want anybody using cups so I promised him I'd wash it out. Now you may be thinking, Dan you fucking moron, why are you telling this part of your night, well it comes into play later.
So I get some cranberry juice and find Tcham with more everclear and head over to the couches to tell jokes with my good friend Kyle. Shortly there after I see a stuffed Barney in the corner of the room so I grab it. I start walking around holding it in a choke hold and telling people to stop moving or the dinosaur gets it. Finally I run into Tcham, and low and behold he's carrying something too just like me. He's holding an oversized Holy Bible. Needless to say we walk around together preaching about how Barney has died for all our sins. It was funny, or atleast to us.
This is about when the fun begins.
Somebody from upstairs comes downstairs and says there are cops at the door. So immediately I run around and start turning off all the lights in the basement.
So about 20 drunk people are all sitting in the dark nervous as hell when all I can do is smile. Next thing I know Karen starts crying because she thinks she's fucked. Somebody yells "Cory, shut your bitch up!" So I grab and bring her down the stairs and me and my new found friend Ali start to comfort her. I told her I had been in this situation before many times, which was a total but helped her calm down. I proceeded to tell her that the cops can't do shit if we don't open the doors. Keep in mind, I'm the most wasted I've been in a long as time.
Next thing that happens the phone starts to ring, and we know it's the cops so we didn't pick up shit.
I'm still sitting in the basement in the complete dark while the cops are shining lights in all the windows to the basement. They're also shinning lights in the front door and without a doubt they saw all the shoes so being the cops they call the house again. Again we didn't answer the phone.
So the thought of maybe trying to sober up incase anything happens and about halfway through the thought the cup's leaving my lips as I had just finished my drink.
Being now that I was SUPER DRUNK I thought it would be best if I went upstairs, which couldn't be further from the best case scenario. But honestly guys, I really had to pee.
This is when the upstairs part of the night begins. I immediately run to the bathroom. After having finished I was like "we need to get all these shoes down stairs." So me and a few people moved them into the basement.
About now is when Karen is like I just want everybody downstairs. So what do I do, I go to the second floor and start looking out the windows like a P.I. would. After this I had to go pee again and I found at bathroom in Karens parents room. In Karens parents room was Cassie and Tim. Cassie explained to me that she had to be home at 10:30 and it was currently 10:45. I was like whats worse, getting caught by the cops or getting home late. Ultimately she decided that getting home late was the best option. I concurred. Then I asked Cassie if I could use her phone. So I called Kenny, he was still at work and I explained to him the situation I was in, it was funny, or atleast it was to me.
So now I venture down the stairs again and meet up with my good friend Ali again and we talked about what was going on for a little bit and then I went into the basement to see who was all there. To my surprise many people had left and there was only a select few that were there.
The cops called the house again. This time we picked up and told them to go blow themselves. One of the last two statements were true, you be the judge.
So as I'm lying on the floor all these girls start to crowd around me, and I'm woa, I've never had so many girls in that close of proximity to me before. Then like any man would I proceeded to bang the shit out of all of them...then in middle of everything nate comes down the stairs and is like "Dude we're leaving real soon." I'm like "Whaterr."
I start to walk up the stairs when all of the sudden I remember the promise I made to Cory. I had to find that cup in the dark. So I turn around and find the cup. Then I walked up the stairs and cleaned it out. Now you see why I told you that part in the begining.
Right now there is only Karen, Kellirose, Cory, Nate, and I left. Shea calls Nates cell phone and tells us that after scoping the place out that there are no cops around the neighborhood. WE HAD DONE IT. WE WAITED OUT THOSE MOTHERFUCKING COPS. FUCK DA POLICE.
So then we leave out her back door and run through her backyard to find Shea waiting for us. He drives us to Nate's car and we get in and he drives me home.
The epic drunken journey concludes.
I am in debt to Nate. Before the party he was like "I'm not gonna drink incase something happens so I'm not driving my drunk friends home drunk." I was like "yeah man, I'm gonna wait out till the party dies down a bit to drink." But I didn't and Nate did and thats why I am in debt to Nate. So Nate Dawg, when I get my license I'll drive you anywhere and everywhere just as long as you let me know before hand.
Preface: Alright, this will be a lengthy story because I want to explain everything that happened.
So Nate, Tyler, Tcham, Shigg, and I all show up at Karens house where the lights are off to make it seem like no one was there. We all went down to the basement where everything appeared cool, and it was. I came across my new drinking buddy, Kyle, and he was so kind to let me put some everclear in my gatorade, the term some used loosely. I finished that while playing a game of pool against Dustin and winning.
Later on I'm walking around drunk looking for another drink and then I got cory to show me where the cups were, at first he was skeptical about it because Karen didn't want anybody using cups so I promised him I'd wash it out. Now you may be thinking, Dan you fucking moron, why are you telling this part of your night, well it comes into play later.
So I get some cranberry juice and find Tcham with more everclear and head over to the couches to tell jokes with my good friend Kyle. Shortly there after I see a stuffed Barney in the corner of the room so I grab it. I start walking around holding it in a choke hold and telling people to stop moving or the dinosaur gets it. Finally I run into Tcham, and low and behold he's carrying something too just like me. He's holding an oversized Holy Bible. Needless to say we walk around together preaching about how Barney has died for all our sins. It was funny, or atleast to us.
This is about when the fun begins.
Somebody from upstairs comes downstairs and says there are cops at the door. So immediately I run around and start turning off all the lights in the basement.
So about 20 drunk people are all sitting in the dark nervous as hell when all I can do is smile. Next thing I know Karen starts crying because she thinks she's fucked. Somebody yells "Cory, shut your bitch up!" So I grab and bring her down the stairs and me and my new found friend Ali start to comfort her. I told her I had been in this situation before many times, which was a total but helped her calm down. I proceeded to tell her that the cops can't do shit if we don't open the doors. Keep in mind, I'm the most wasted I've been in a long as time.
Next thing that happens the phone starts to ring, and we know it's the cops so we didn't pick up shit.
I'm still sitting in the basement in the complete dark while the cops are shining lights in all the windows to the basement. They're also shinning lights in the front door and without a doubt they saw all the shoes so being the cops they call the house again. Again we didn't answer the phone.
So the thought of maybe trying to sober up incase anything happens and about halfway through the thought the cup's leaving my lips as I had just finished my drink.
Being now that I was SUPER DRUNK I thought it would be best if I went upstairs, which couldn't be further from the best case scenario. But honestly guys, I really had to pee.
This is when the upstairs part of the night begins. I immediately run to the bathroom. After having finished I was like "we need to get all these shoes down stairs." So me and a few people moved them into the basement.
About now is when Karen is like I just want everybody downstairs. So what do I do, I go to the second floor and start looking out the windows like a P.I. would. After this I had to go pee again and I found at bathroom in Karens parents room. In Karens parents room was Cassie and Tim. Cassie explained to me that she had to be home at 10:30 and it was currently 10:45. I was like whats worse, getting caught by the cops or getting home late. Ultimately she decided that getting home late was the best option. I concurred. Then I asked Cassie if I could use her phone. So I called Kenny, he was still at work and I explained to him the situation I was in, it was funny, or atleast it was to me.
So now I venture down the stairs again and meet up with my good friend Ali again and we talked about what was going on for a little bit and then I went into the basement to see who was all there. To my surprise many people had left and there was only a select few that were there.
The cops called the house again. This time we picked up and told them to go blow themselves. One of the last two statements were true, you be the judge.
So as I'm lying on the floor all these girls start to crowd around me, and I'm woa, I've never had so many girls in that close of proximity to me before. Then like any man would I proceeded to bang the shit out of all of them...then in middle of everything nate comes down the stairs and is like "Dude we're leaving real soon." I'm like "Whaterr."
I start to walk up the stairs when all of the sudden I remember the promise I made to Cory. I had to find that cup in the dark. So I turn around and find the cup. Then I walked up the stairs and cleaned it out. Now you see why I told you that part in the begining.
Right now there is only Karen, Kellirose, Cory, Nate, and I left. Shea calls Nates cell phone and tells us that after scoping the place out that there are no cops around the neighborhood. WE HAD DONE IT. WE WAITED OUT THOSE MOTHERFUCKING COPS. FUCK DA POLICE.
So then we leave out her back door and run through her backyard to find Shea waiting for us. He drives us to Nate's car and we get in and he drives me home.
The epic drunken journey concludes.
I am in debt to Nate. Before the party he was like "I'm not gonna drink incase something happens so I'm not driving my drunk friends home drunk." I was like "yeah man, I'm gonna wait out till the party dies down a bit to drink." But I didn't and Nate did and thats why I am in debt to Nate. So Nate Dawg, when I get my license I'll drive you anywhere and everywhere just as long as you let me know before hand.