Plz to enjoy the massive crack inspired by a small convo I had with Perdi!
Title: What The!
Characters: Mohinder, Sylar, Matt, Molly, Nathan, Bob, Elle, mentions of Maya and others
Warning: kissing and CRACK!
Rating: pg-13 for kissing and innuendo
Word Count: 1475
Spoilers: A certain shot in the third season promo...well...two or three shots, and crazy speculation (season three spoilers to be more precise)
Summary: Mohinder needs Sylar for...something
Disclaimer: This obviously won't happen on Heroes...but wouldn't it be hilarious if it did!
A/N: From a random comment I made to Perdi, and her response. So, dedicated to her. It's random...it's cracky...it's silly...I hope you enjoy it...(btw, the muse that helps me end stories has run away, but the other ones are still hanging about...so...) (No beta, apologies for errors)
Sylar grins as he walks through the door, closing it behind him with a soft click. He crosses his arms as he watches Mohinder pacing back and forth anxiously in the livingroom.
“I’m here, Mohinder,” Sylar chuckles, “what was it that you wanted?”
Mohinder jumps and looks up at Sylar, pausing in his frantic motions as he nervously licks his lips.
“I-uh-I wanted to chat,” Mohinder says, clenching and unclenching his fists.
“Oh yeah? About what?” Sylar asks, striding toward Mohinder, walking up until he is about a foot away from the man.
“About things,” Mohinder breathes, licking his lips again as he stares up at Sylar.
“You’ll have to be more specific than that. I can’t read minds...yet.”
“I can,” Mohinder sighs, blinking and smiling a bit.
Sylar frowns, “come again?”
“No, there wasn’t any need for that. It was just a simple kiss.”
“A...what? What are you talking about?”
Sylar raises an eyebrow, suddenly wondering if perhaps Parkman has done something strange to Mohinder’s mental state.
“No, he hasn’t,” Mohinder explains, “I told you, it was just a kiss.”
Sylar’s jaw falls open, “you really can read minds! How?!”
“Were you not listening? I know you have exquisite hearing...that’s gonna be hell to get used to, I’m sure...”
Sylar shakes his head as he struggles to understand Mohinder, “you know, I get a lot of things, but...”
His words are cut off as Mohinder lunges forward, crushing their lips together. Then Mohinder’s tongue is sliding into Sylar’s mouth, darting along Sylar’s lips, tasting him. Finally, Mohinder steps back, closing his eyes and licking his lips. He breathes out slowly, then opens his eyes and smiles up at Sylar before wincing.
“Ow! I know Matt snores, but...shit, it sounds like two freight trains having sex!”
“What the fuck did you do that for!?” Sylar demands, absently brushing his fingers over his lips.
“Don’t yell,” Mohinder hisses, placing his hands over his ears.
Sylar just stares at him for a moment, watching as Mohinder finally seems to overcome whatever it is that’s bothering him, and proceeds to glance around the apartment curiously. Mohinder eyes something in the corner, holding out his hand, and concentrating. Sylar watches in amazement as a glass goes flying from on top of the television, landing in Mohinder’s outstretched hand.
“You...I...YOU GOT THAT FROM KISSING ME?!”
Mohinder drops the glass, hands going to his ears again, “stop yelling!”
“What the fuck, Mohinder! You called me and had me come all this way so you could kiss me and take on my powers?!”
Mohinder screws his eyes shut and nods, and when he speaks again his voice is different, deeper, demanding, “speak quieter.”
Sylar blinks, and is shocked to find that the next words out of his mouth come in a whisper, “how long have you had this ability?”
“Long enough,” Mohinder breathes, dropping his hands from his ears.
“How did you find out about it?” Sylar asks, still whispering.
“Accidentally.”
“Can you be any more specific?”
“No.”
“Well...what now?”
XXXX
“Damnit! Hold still, Bob!” Mohinder growls.
“What the hell are you doing, Dr. Surmmmph...”
Mohinder crushes his lips together with Bob’s, then steps back, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and grimacing, “when’s the last time your brushed your teeth?”
“Mohinder, what the hell?!” Bob snaps, eyes wide in shock.
Mohinder grabs the clipboard in Bob’s hand, concentrating for a moment. Right there before their eyes it turns from brown to brilliant gold. Mohinder smiles and hands it back to Bob, who almost drops it in surprise.
“What...how?”
“Do you by chance know which level Nathan is on?” Mohinder asks.
“...”
“Fine, I’ll ask Elle,” Mohinder says, shaking his head and turning away.
Bob merely stands there blinking as Mohinder walks away.
XXXX
“Hey, Suresh, how’s it hangnnng,” Elle jumps when Mohinder grabs her and pulls her up into a kiss. When he releases her and steps back, she stares up at him in shock.
Mohinder opens his palm, and blue volts of electricity arc up. He smiles.
“Thanks, Elle. You brush much more frequently than your father.”
Elle’s eyes go as wide as saucers, “what the bloody fuck was that, Suresh?!”
“That was a kiss. Now, could you by chance tell me which level Nathan Petrelli is on?” Mohinder asks.
Elle blinks, too stunned to talk, but the number two pops into her head, and Mohinder’s face breaks into a grin.
“Thanks,” Mohinder says, patting her gently on the shoulder before turning and heading to the elevator.
XXXX
“Hey, Mohinder, haven’t seen you in a whnnnngh...”
Mohinder breaks off from his kiss with Nathan, a small smile on his lips, “were you just chewing gum?”
Nathan blinks several times, and swallows, “what the...”
“Tasted like spearmint.”
“Why’d you...”
“I always figured you for the Winter-mint, or Cinna-mint type...”
“Wha-”
“Sorry, can’t stay and chat, gotta go,” Mohinder explains, turning and striding from the room, leaving a very confused Petrelli behind.
XXXX
“Nana nana...”
“Do you hear that?” Molly asks.
Matt squints as he listens more closely, “is that coming from the gym?”
Molly closes her eyes and concentrates, “yeah, he’s in there...but he’s...”
Molly trails off, frowning as she opens her eyes and hurries into the gym, swinging the door open to see Sylar standing there, arms crossed, eyes pointed toward the ceiling.
Molly and Matt both trail their gazes up.
“Nana nana nana nana BatMo!”
“Mohinder?! What the hell are you doing?” Matt asks.
“I’m hanging out,” Mohinder laughs as he swings upside down from a board.
“How’d you get up there?” Matt demands.
“I flew!”
“How?!”
“He kissed Nathan,” Sylar scoffs.
“Look, Molly! I’m BatMo!” Mohinder giggles.
“I think all the powers are going to his head,” Sylar says with a raised eyebrow.
“Nuh-uh!” Mohinder shouts down.
“Yuh-huh,” Sylar drawls back.
“Shut up! You’re just jealous because I kissed some people.”
“What?! I’m not...I’m not jealous!” Sylar insists, shifting uncomfortably, “you crazy nut!”
“Nana nana nana nana, BatMo!” Mohinder beams, before swinging his legs off the board and floating down toward the floor.
“Umm...Mohinder,” Molly murmurs.
“Yes, Molly?”
“You’re not dressed,” Molly points out.
Mohinder glances down at his boxers, “I guess I’m not.”
“Are you okay?” Molly asks.
“I’m better than okay,” Mohinder beams.
“You’re high as a kite is what you are,” Sylar cuts in, “who all did you kiss?”
“Bob, Elle, Matt, Monica, Maya, you, this happy looking lady in level five, this unhappy looking man in level five, Nathan...I wonder if Hiro’s at work right now. Do you think I could get around the world in five minutes with Nathan’s ability?”
“Was one of these people on crack?!” Sylar asks.
Mohinder frowns, looking at the ceiling as he thinks, “I think one of the level fivers was on morphine. Nope, no crack that I know of.”
“Mohinder...perhaps we should go home,” Matt hints, ready to put a thought into Mohinder’s head if he has to.
Mohinder snaps his finger, “I could go kiss Claire! Or Adam! Or...or...”
Mohinder trails off as Sylar steps forward and begins to massage his shoulders, ordering him to “calm down, now.”
“But, I want to...I have the ability to...”
“Are you gonna kiss the whole world?” Sylar asks.
“No, of course not! Just, everyone with an ability,” Mohinder explains.
“Riiiight,” Sylar mumbles, continuing to massage Mohinder’s back until Mohinder’s eyes flutter shut.
“What’s wrong with kissing people,” Mohinder murmurs.
“They might get the wrong idea,” Sylar explains, and his hands slip around to rest on Mohinder’s chest.
“Erm...what idea?” Mohinder asks, squirming a little as Matt and Molly stare at him wide-eyed.
“That you’re into them,” Sylar whispers against Mohinder’s ear.
“Time to go, Molly!” Matt insists, gripping Molly’s hand and starting to drag her away.
“Well...what now?” Sylar asks.
XXXX
“Mohinder? Did you hear me? I said what now-whoa...did your eyes just go white?”
Mohinder blinks and stumbles back, gasping at the visions he’s just seen, “wh-huh?”
“Did you see the future?” Sylar asks.
“Y-yeah, I think so,” Mohinder mumbles.
“And?”
“And...I think I’m just gonna stay in for the night,” Mohinder mutters, “I really don’t see the point in going out.”
“Are you kidding? With this ability?”
“I’m really rather tired, Sylar. I’m just going to head to bed, thanks. You can show yourself out.”
Mohinder flashes Sylar a grin, then turns and heads to his room.
“Just like that?”
“Night, Sylar.”
“You’re not even going to walk me out?”
“I think you can find the door.”
“But...what...you...who taught you to kiss like that?” Sylar demands.
“Goodniiiight, Sylar,” Mohinder waves, shutting his bedroom door on the shocked man.
Sylar continues to stand there, mouth agape, looking like he has no idea what just hit him.
Characters: Mohinder, Sylar, Matt, Molly, Nathan, Bob, Elle, mentions of Maya and others
Warning: kissing and CRACK!
Rating: pg-13 for kissing and innuendo
Word Count: 1475
Spoilers: A certain shot in the third season promo...well...two or three shots, and crazy speculation (season three spoilers to be more precise)
Summary: Mohinder needs Sylar for...something
Disclaimer: This obviously won't happen on Heroes...but wouldn't it be hilarious if it did!
A/N: From a random comment I made to Perdi, and her response. So, dedicated to her. It's random...it's cracky...it's silly...I hope you enjoy it...(btw, the muse that helps me end stories has run away, but the other ones are still hanging about...so...) (No beta, apologies for errors)
Sylar grins as he walks through the door, closing it behind him with a soft click. He crosses his arms as he watches Mohinder pacing back and forth anxiously in the livingroom.
“I’m here, Mohinder,” Sylar chuckles, “what was it that you wanted?”
Mohinder jumps and looks up at Sylar, pausing in his frantic motions as he nervously licks his lips.
“I-uh-I wanted to chat,” Mohinder says, clenching and unclenching his fists.
“Oh yeah? About what?” Sylar asks, striding toward Mohinder, walking up until he is about a foot away from the man.
“About things,” Mohinder breathes, licking his lips again as he stares up at Sylar.
“You’ll have to be more specific than that. I can’t read minds...yet.”
“I can,” Mohinder sighs, blinking and smiling a bit.
Sylar frowns, “come again?”
“No, there wasn’t any need for that. It was just a simple kiss.”
“A...what? What are you talking about?”
Sylar raises an eyebrow, suddenly wondering if perhaps Parkman has done something strange to Mohinder’s mental state.
“No, he hasn’t,” Mohinder explains, “I told you, it was just a kiss.”
Sylar’s jaw falls open, “you really can read minds! How?!”
“Were you not listening? I know you have exquisite hearing...that’s gonna be hell to get used to, I’m sure...”
Sylar shakes his head as he struggles to understand Mohinder, “you know, I get a lot of things, but...”
His words are cut off as Mohinder lunges forward, crushing their lips together. Then Mohinder’s tongue is sliding into Sylar’s mouth, darting along Sylar’s lips, tasting him. Finally, Mohinder steps back, closing his eyes and licking his lips. He breathes out slowly, then opens his eyes and smiles up at Sylar before wincing.
“Ow! I know Matt snores, but...shit, it sounds like two freight trains having sex!”
“What the fuck did you do that for!?” Sylar demands, absently brushing his fingers over his lips.
“Don’t yell,” Mohinder hisses, placing his hands over his ears.
Sylar just stares at him for a moment, watching as Mohinder finally seems to overcome whatever it is that’s bothering him, and proceeds to glance around the apartment curiously. Mohinder eyes something in the corner, holding out his hand, and concentrating. Sylar watches in amazement as a glass goes flying from on top of the television, landing in Mohinder’s outstretched hand.
“You...I...YOU GOT THAT FROM KISSING ME?!”
Mohinder drops the glass, hands going to his ears again, “stop yelling!”
“What the fuck, Mohinder! You called me and had me come all this way so you could kiss me and take on my powers?!”
Mohinder screws his eyes shut and nods, and when he speaks again his voice is different, deeper, demanding, “speak quieter.”
Sylar blinks, and is shocked to find that the next words out of his mouth come in a whisper, “how long have you had this ability?”
“Long enough,” Mohinder breathes, dropping his hands from his ears.
“How did you find out about it?” Sylar asks, still whispering.
“Accidentally.”
“Can you be any more specific?”
“No.”
“Well...what now?”
XXXX
“Damnit! Hold still, Bob!” Mohinder growls.
“What the hell are you doing, Dr. Surmmmph...”
Mohinder crushes his lips together with Bob’s, then steps back, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and grimacing, “when’s the last time your brushed your teeth?”
“Mohinder, what the hell?!” Bob snaps, eyes wide in shock.
Mohinder grabs the clipboard in Bob’s hand, concentrating for a moment. Right there before their eyes it turns from brown to brilliant gold. Mohinder smiles and hands it back to Bob, who almost drops it in surprise.
“What...how?”
“Do you by chance know which level Nathan is on?” Mohinder asks.
“...”
“Fine, I’ll ask Elle,” Mohinder says, shaking his head and turning away.
Bob merely stands there blinking as Mohinder walks away.
XXXX
“Hey, Suresh, how’s it hangnnng,” Elle jumps when Mohinder grabs her and pulls her up into a kiss. When he releases her and steps back, she stares up at him in shock.
Mohinder opens his palm, and blue volts of electricity arc up. He smiles.
“Thanks, Elle. You brush much more frequently than your father.”
Elle’s eyes go as wide as saucers, “what the bloody fuck was that, Suresh?!”
“That was a kiss. Now, could you by chance tell me which level Nathan Petrelli is on?” Mohinder asks.
Elle blinks, too stunned to talk, but the number two pops into her head, and Mohinder’s face breaks into a grin.
“Thanks,” Mohinder says, patting her gently on the shoulder before turning and heading to the elevator.
XXXX
“Hey, Mohinder, haven’t seen you in a whnnnngh...”
Mohinder breaks off from his kiss with Nathan, a small smile on his lips, “were you just chewing gum?”
Nathan blinks several times, and swallows, “what the...”
“Tasted like spearmint.”
“Why’d you...”
“I always figured you for the Winter-mint, or Cinna-mint type...”
“Wha-”
“Sorry, can’t stay and chat, gotta go,” Mohinder explains, turning and striding from the room, leaving a very confused Petrelli behind.
XXXX
“Nana nana...”
“Do you hear that?” Molly asks.
Matt squints as he listens more closely, “is that coming from the gym?”
Molly closes her eyes and concentrates, “yeah, he’s in there...but he’s...”
Molly trails off, frowning as she opens her eyes and hurries into the gym, swinging the door open to see Sylar standing there, arms crossed, eyes pointed toward the ceiling.
Molly and Matt both trail their gazes up.
“Nana nana nana nana BatMo!”
“Mohinder?! What the hell are you doing?” Matt asks.
“I’m hanging out,” Mohinder laughs as he swings upside down from a board.
“How’d you get up there?” Matt demands.
“I flew!”
“How?!”
“He kissed Nathan,” Sylar scoffs.
“Look, Molly! I’m BatMo!” Mohinder giggles.
“I think all the powers are going to his head,” Sylar says with a raised eyebrow.
“Nuh-uh!” Mohinder shouts down.
“Yuh-huh,” Sylar drawls back.
“Shut up! You’re just jealous because I kissed some people.”
“What?! I’m not...I’m not jealous!” Sylar insists, shifting uncomfortably, “you crazy nut!”
“Nana nana nana nana, BatMo!” Mohinder beams, before swinging his legs off the board and floating down toward the floor.
“Umm...Mohinder,” Molly murmurs.
“Yes, Molly?”
“You’re not dressed,” Molly points out.
Mohinder glances down at his boxers, “I guess I’m not.”
“Are you okay?” Molly asks.
“I’m better than okay,” Mohinder beams.
“You’re high as a kite is what you are,” Sylar cuts in, “who all did you kiss?”
“Bob, Elle, Matt, Monica, Maya, you, this happy looking lady in level five, this unhappy looking man in level five, Nathan...I wonder if Hiro’s at work right now. Do you think I could get around the world in five minutes with Nathan’s ability?”
“Was one of these people on crack?!” Sylar asks.
Mohinder frowns, looking at the ceiling as he thinks, “I think one of the level fivers was on morphine. Nope, no crack that I know of.”
“Mohinder...perhaps we should go home,” Matt hints, ready to put a thought into Mohinder’s head if he has to.
Mohinder snaps his finger, “I could go kiss Claire! Or Adam! Or...or...”
Mohinder trails off as Sylar steps forward and begins to massage his shoulders, ordering him to “calm down, now.”
“But, I want to...I have the ability to...”
“Are you gonna kiss the whole world?” Sylar asks.
“No, of course not! Just, everyone with an ability,” Mohinder explains.
“Riiiight,” Sylar mumbles, continuing to massage Mohinder’s back until Mohinder’s eyes flutter shut.
“What’s wrong with kissing people,” Mohinder murmurs.
“They might get the wrong idea,” Sylar explains, and his hands slip around to rest on Mohinder’s chest.
“Erm...what idea?” Mohinder asks, squirming a little as Matt and Molly stare at him wide-eyed.
“That you’re into them,” Sylar whispers against Mohinder’s ear.
“Time to go, Molly!” Matt insists, gripping Molly’s hand and starting to drag her away.
“Well...what now?” Sylar asks.
XXXX
“Mohinder? Did you hear me? I said what now-whoa...did your eyes just go white?”
Mohinder blinks and stumbles back, gasping at the visions he’s just seen, “wh-huh?”
“Did you see the future?” Sylar asks.
“Y-yeah, I think so,” Mohinder mumbles.
“And?”
“And...I think I’m just gonna stay in for the night,” Mohinder mutters, “I really don’t see the point in going out.”
“Are you kidding? With this ability?”
“I’m really rather tired, Sylar. I’m just going to head to bed, thanks. You can show yourself out.”
Mohinder flashes Sylar a grin, then turns and heads to his room.
“Just like that?”
“Night, Sylar.”
“You’re not even going to walk me out?”
“I think you can find the door.”
“But...what...you...who taught you to kiss like that?” Sylar demands.
“Goodniiiight, Sylar,” Mohinder waves, shutting his bedroom door on the shocked man.
Sylar continues to stand there, mouth agape, looking like he has no idea what just hit him.