[Fanfic] 'On the Other Side of the Pillow' Germany/Prussia
Title: On the Other Side of the Pillow
Character(s): teen!Germany, Prussia, Austria
Pairing(s): Germany/Prussia
Rating: 18+
Warnings: sex; use of sedatives
Summary: Prussia is ashamed of his feelings for Germany and hides them. He doesn't know that Germany is trapped in an even worse snare. He remains clueless about Germany's nightly visits to his bedroom and that he is being molested. (story taking place before the Austro-Prussian War)
A/N: The chronological sequence may confuse some readers, but everything is done intentionally. How it came to all this you are about to read will be explained in the future chapter(s).
I want to drop a little comment before you proceed with reading. A human OC (original character) will appear briefly in this chapter, and I beg of you to be patient with me. I didn’t use an OC because I didn’t have anything else to write about, but because (with all needed respect) Germany couldn’t have pulled this off alone. As I said, the OC will be present only in this chapter, and I guarantee that no other humans will appear in future updates.
I owe a big thanks to raecat for beta-ing.
- Chapter 2 -
“What a terrible noise they make in the mornings. I thought I told them to leave the horses further away. Such impudence…” Roderich grumbled in dissatisfaction.
“Could you cut your story short, by any chance? I'm already lost waiting for your point.”
Ludwig glanced up from his book to look at the two nations sitting on an elegant, octagonal rosewood table, both entirely engrossed in the card game they were playing. The whole palace knew they were at a constant variance, and their arguments-ranging from these little argues to heated exchanges-were the most natural occurrence.
“Very amusing, Gilbert.” The Austrian gave him a look. “I meant that we should tighten our reigns on those coachmen, or they will continue to do as they please.”
“That was enlightening. Now pass me the deck, it's my turn to deal.” Gilbert gathered all cards in a single pack and began shuffling. “I hear nothing. Not at night, not in the morning. I have no inkling of what you’re talking about.” He put his elbow on the table, and offered Roderich to cut the deck.
“Nothing can wake you up. You sleep like a log.” The brunette commented.
Still comfortably seated in his arm-chair, Ludwig lifted the book to hide his face. He smiled with an air of coy secrecy, knowing full well why Gilbert wasn’t tired as he or Roderich. The Prussian has had a restful night full of sleep; it wasn’t a mystery he looked so refreshed.
When the two Germans began to play a new round, Ludwig found that he was more engaged in watching Gilbert than in reading, so he ended up laying the book aside. After all his exertions last night, he felt he deserved a rest. He let his body sink further into the inviting cushions, smiling vacantly at nothing in particular, indulging in an idle state of reverie. The Prussian across the room looked very becoming this morning. He always did.
Fatigued by Gilbert’s lack of compassion, Roderich changed the topic.
“Have you heard about that scandal from yesterday? It’s hard to imagine − that our personnel is supposed to be stealing.” He said, clearly appalled at the current events.
“It still puzzles me, what on earth would a maid do with sedatives?” Gilbert agreed with him for once.
Ludwig blanched at the mention of sedatives.
He thought his heart died within him for a moment. Terror and fright overwhelmed his mind, his pulse raised as he stared at them. He sat straight up and clenched his trembling fingers in fists, stiffly clutching at his breeches. Upon clearing his throat weakly, he spoke.
“Forgive my intrusion, but permit me to ask what you will do about it?” He demanded clarification.
Both turned to look at him, but Gilbert spoke first.
“I think it should be expunged. The palace doesn’t even need so many drugs.” He observed calmly.
“My opinion falls in with yours.” Roderich agreed, unconsciously tearing at Ludwig’s heart further. “It’s about the principle. We should not allow the servants to steal from the palace kitchen supply.”
Ludwig listened to their perfect indifference, barely knowing what to say to avoid drawing attention to his discontented mien.
“But what about emergency preparedness? What if someone suffers an injury? Surely, the hunting season will begin soon, it’s good to have bromide reserves in-“
“If an emergency happens, we will have someone go to the city to bring the needed medicine.” Gilbert retorted impatiently, a dark scowl present on his face while he studied his cards.
Ludwig felt uncomfortably conspicuous, since he was the only one who didn’t oppose the sedative provisions.
Gilbert eyed him warily for a moment, agog to the new twist in Ludwig’s demeanor. “Tell me, why do you take these trivial matters so personally?” He added, relenting a little.
“Forgive me,” Ludwig kept his head down as not to argue with his brother in front of Roderich. “You know better than I do.”
The Prussian watched him with renewed interest for some time before laughingly dismissing the whole affair and changing the subject.
“Would you like to go out for a walk later?” He asked the younger German.
“It’s drizzly today, I don’t fancy going out this evening.” Ludwig replied quietly, trying to look composed and unconcerned.
“May I be excused?” He requested after a minute, keeping his eyes glued to the parquet.
“I’d rather you stay with us, but if you wish.” Gilbert paused in hope for an answer, but Ludwig merely gave a nod and left the salon, hurrying to consult a certain person.
* * *
“Young Master.” The kitchen chamberlain bowed after she arrived at the meeting place, but Ludwig shook his head quickly.
“Raise, Madam, no need for such formality.”
The German lady was a motherly person in her middle ages, gray-haired, with oval features which seemed to convey her pleasant, friendly character. She was still good-looking, irrespective of age. Ludwig knew she must have had a reputation as a great beauty during her younger age.
“Have you heard the news?” Ludwig questioned right away, and she could already sense the bitterness of his spirit. “Not the stealing, of course, but that they will confiscate all sedatives.”
“They already did.”
To Ludwig, who hoped to secure more supplies for himself, this information was devastating. Now he couldn’t even save the sedatives that were left. He came to search for bromide that was still unspoiled, but found only failure instead. The lady caught his attention when she handed him a small bottle, carefully packed in a wad of soft material.
“It isn’t much, but it’s everything I was able to save for you.”
He cradled the sedative and held it against his chest, endlessly grateful to the chamberlain for her efforts.
“But for your assistance, I’d be helpless. I shall see to it that you are properly rewarded for your services to me.” Ludwig assured. The drug was more worth than gold to him. The small amount he had in that bottle was enough to induce deep sleep within a relatively short amount of time.
“Your trust is reward enough, young Master.” The lady cupped his cheek in her gloved hand protectively, fine wrinkles around her eyes became more visible when her lips formed a smile. “I am glad to see that your spirits haven’t been destroyed.” She encouraged.
Ludwig watched this refined woman, reminding himself that this was the only lady on earth who knew that his bed stood idle during some nights. It was only after a long discussion that he was sure in her loyalty. She was now the only human he trusted with his secret, and the one from whom he had got the full account about this drug. It was a substance that became a popular sedative and was widely prescribed − a sedative harmless for a nation, and therefore safe to use on Gilbert.
“Thank you.” Ludwig almost whispered. He never expected a human to develop such kind of affection for him. She withdrew her hand, and for a moment he found himself longing for the motherly touch.
“Please remind your maids about my presence in Prussia’s room tonight. I will brook no interference in this matter.”
She made a gesture of obeisance, and departed soon thereafter.
* * *
Ludwig rushed to his bedroom with the intent to stow his goods in his hiding-place, and save them for future use.
Rarely have his prospects seemed so bad. His short childhood was devoid of calamities, but now he seemed to be exposed to so many unforeseen changes, it appeared almost unreal. The sudden turn of events made him firmly believe that some extraordinary power decided to punish him for all his actions.
The Fortune trampled on him more than once, but he wasn’t sure if he could survive this blow.
Ludwig has always been very careful as to not excite speculation and expose himself to public ridicule. But above everything, he was terrified by the idea of Gilbert finding out about his nightly visits.
The blond unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled a delicately carved hardwood chest out. He lifted the lid to reveal his treasure. Underneath the tray was a secret compartment, hiding a tiny bottle half-filled with sedative, and an oval glass jar containing lubricant. He has used his last full bottle of bromide last night. How could he have known that the lack of sedatives in the palace would be discovered?
Desperate, he buried his face into his palms in a moment of misery and despair, finally admitting to himself to having started a fire he didn’t know how to fight.
He spread his fingers apart to eye the new bottle quickly, and found himself agitated by the sense of loss. The decision he made defied all logic, but didn’t put him off from going into Gilbert’s bedroom tonight.
* * *
“You will not mind my disturbing you, I hope.” Ludwig said as he peered from the hall, already knowing the answer. He didn’t have to fear Gilbert viewing his motives with suspicion.
Smiling brightly, Gilbert bade him enter. He chose to postpone his duties for tomorrow. A cup of strong tea, a generous fire and Ludwig’s presence formed a harmony which made him forget his work.
“You always bring me the tea. I should have you employed as my personal butler.” The jocose Prussian teased, watching the younger nation stroll towards him.
“All empty promises.” Ludwig jested in return when he stopped beside the seated nation and left the hot drink upon his desk. “I know uncle Roderich said your joke will bear repeating, but it doesn’t get better with time.” He pushed the porcelain saucer and the matching cup in front of the Prussian, causing him to remove the letters he has been writing in order to make some free space. “It’s just as you like it, brother. Hot and without sugar.” Ludwig added.
Gilbert beckoned him closer, and with a look of mild puzzlement, Ludwig leaned down, expecting the Prussian to whisper something into his ear. This thought confused him even further, since they were alone in the bedroom and Gilbert was safe to voice his thoughts out loud.
Instead of a whisper, he received a kiss on the cheek.
Gilbert has always been terribly fond of him. Apart from the short week following his body transformation-a period during which Gilbert had avoided him like the plague-he has never denied him affection. Ludwig’s heart warmed at the gesture, but he had limited control over his erections, for he was young, and the slightest stimulus caused by the Prussian fired his imagination.
He flinched backwards and straightened his body again; the kiss has caught him unaware.
“It’s late, I should be returning to my room.” He smothered the sudden arousal behind his words.
“I don’t mind. Stay a little longer. I insist.” Gilbert stressed, stifling the burning disappointment in his chest, but oblivious to the real motives of Ludwig’s withdrawal.
The younger German sank into the opposite seat, and watched his brother sip on the drink.
“You’ve been to the city last week. Tell me, how are the people?” Ludwig inquired while he relished in the feeling of having Gilbert all to himself.
The Prussian pondered for a moment. “Not good.” He said and put the cup down. “But I'm not afraid, it will get much worse.”
Ludwig frowned at his strange sense of humor. “I thought you strive to make their life better.”
“That is exactly what we try to do.” Gilbert affirmed, but didn’t go into details. Ludwig wondered if the sedative has already started to work as he watched his brother’s attractive features basking in the mellow light of the candles.
“I would do anything for my people. I’m ready to die for them, if necessary.” The younger nation added in a somewhat quieter voice.
“There is something more you can do. Live for them.” They shared a long look before the Prussian lifted his teacup and drank up in gusto.
“May I trouble you to pass me that book?” Gilbert pointed at the bookcase behind Ludwig, and the younger blond immediately rose to follow his request. “The only one on the top shelf.”
Gilbert followed him with a longing gaze the entire time, but this escaped Ludwig’s notice.
After he handed his brother the desired item, he returned to find a book for his own enjoyment. With his back turned to the older nation, Ludwig spoke.
“Brother, do I please you?” He questioned with so much affection, it made the Prussian’s heart melt with love.
“Yes. Your presence is very agreeable.” He answered. Ludwig’s words stirred up feelings in him that he has been trying to suppress for months; quite unsuccessfully. He let his gaze dwell on Ludwig with that same longing, scarlet eyes roaming all over his figure. But as soon as he recognized desire and glimmering hope rising within him, he averted his eyes to open the book, flipping through the volume before he stopped at a random page.
In all his solitary life, he has never felt such a deep yearning for another nation. His feelings ranged from gentle affection to an earnest wish to tame the blond and have him only for himself. But Ludwig's words from back then were not far from truth − he was a coward. A coward at the thought of failure and at being rejected by the nation he called his brother, his family. And thus he continued to be obstinately deaf to all subtleties and hints, causing despair to both him and Ludwig.
He continued to consult his book in silence, unaware of Ludwig’s analytical gaze on him.
Gilbert was valiant and upright. He was an honorable nation. But his weakness was that he trusted his brother too much. An innocent-eyed look could easily deceive a nation of many winters as Prussia was. Therefore Ludwig could rest assured that no suspicion could alight on him.
He watched as Gilbert’s body relaxed visibly after a short time, his body resting in a comfortable position while satisfaction came over him in waves. He knew Gilbert was about to fall asleep, it was only a matter of minutes.
The Prussian gave a yawn, his eyelids drooping with weariness as he looked across the table at the blond with a half-smile on his lips. “Alas, I feel a bit sleepy. Perhaps you would want to go back to your room now?”
Ludwig nodded and returned the book he picked up earlier. Gilbert saw him to the door, and there they parted.
* * *
Ludwig never imagined he would stoop so low.
He knew that he had made a deep error by starting all this, but it seemed almost impossible to stop now. He was a prisoner, confined behind the bars of his own carnal desire, with no hope of redemption.
The clocks were striking twelve when he found himself in front of Gilbert’s bedroom once again. The sedative ought to have taken effect by now. He entered quietly, and locked the door.
Guided by the gleam of moonshine that shone faintly through the windows, he glided between the table and the four-poster bed smoothly. While he ambled along the room, his heart rate and the grip on his small jar increased. Before sitting on the bed, he noticed that the fire burned down to embers. As he watched the glowing remains of the dying fire, he felt the reproach of his own conscience, but he banished the thoughts from his mind as soon as they had arisen.
He looked over at the sleeping nation, and the sight confused whatever rational thoughts he might have had until this point.
Ludwig was deeply ashamed at his deeds, but he had little scruple in his mind once he saw Gilbert lying on a bed. What in fact had led him and gave him courage enough to do this remained a complete mystery even to him.
He stepped closer, blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. The sound of his own beating heart boomed through his ears when he sat beside the Prussian. His eagerness made him senseless of danger. After nine months of routine, he became so naturalized to this practice that he didn’t fear anymore. Yet simple acts like kissing Gilbert or placing his palms against his chest were still sufficient to make him aroused.
He removed all his clothes but his shirt, and straddled the Prussian carefully. Leaning flat on his palms, he bent down, and pressed a light kiss on a smooth, white brow, and repeated the same on the pointed tip of Gilbert’s straight nose. An uncontrollable smile broke out on Ludwig’s lips when he traveled over the frills running down the center of Gilbert’s shirt. He unbuttoned it slowly and opened it wide, brazenly displaying a tremendous stretch of bare skin, fingers brushing over the beautiful muscular chest.
Skillful hands moved across the alabaster skin, over the body he knew by heart, over each curve and each ridge, kissing the scars he could reach, remainders of so many battles. He usually began with sucking and nipping at his nipples, working on one while fingers glided to the other one over the light covering of soft hair on his chest, drawing small circles around it. He lavished them with attention until they finally became erect, and he smiled in happiness when this happened, giving another peck before moving lower like a virtuoso.
Gilbert pelvic muscles were a work of art. Ludwig felt an impulsive tingle of jealousy as he traced the indention on each side of his lower stomach, but the envious reaction was quickly replaced by lust. He undid his brother’s breeches, and pulled them down enough to reveal his flaccid member. Even though Ludwig has never had a chance to try it, he imagined that it was easier to suck cock while a man was already hard. He usually spent quite some time on getting Gilbert hard, but a thought of giving up has never crossed his mind.
He curled his fingers around the base in a gentle squeeze, pulling up and sliding off like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. When he was lucky, Gilbert would get an erection with the slightest touch of his hand, but sometimes it took an eternity to get him hard.
The dexterity with which Ludwig plied his fingers made the shaft in his hand swell and lengthen fast, so he leaned in to lick across the swollen head of the cock in soft, wet strokes, warm tongue circling around it. Ludwig felt himself getting even harder. He flicked the tongue-tip in the indentation on the underside of the penis where the glans meets his shaft, and proceeded with assiduous care until it became firm in his mouth. For all his hygienic tendencies, he loved having Gilbert’s cock in his mouth. His heart fluttered as he imagined the Prussian watching him, or breathing hard while he sucked him like this, gasping when he stroked his balls. A familiar sting of pain throbbed in his chest after he glanced up to see Gilbert’s peaceful face.
Beforehand preparation helped Ludwig save time, and thus maintain Gilbert’s erection, for as long as he stimulated him the erection remained consistent. He pulled his lips off of his glorious cock and licked the glans once more − there was pre-come yesterday, but not tonight − finding that it was ready to serve its purpose.
So far so good.
He retrieved the bottle that he had laid aside earlier to apply the lubricant onto his brother’s erect shaft, and, although it had no practical use, he rubbed it into his scrotum as well.
Ludwig’s shaft stood aggressively erect as he mounted the Prussian. For his own convenience, he slipped smaller pillows under his knees, and settled into a position that allowed him to control the speed and depth of penetration. It was the only position he could perform with a sleeping partner.
He held Gilbert’s cock upright to position himself, and once he began moving slowly down the long shaft his eyes screwed shut in sheer pleasure, his erection twitched enthusiastically.
“Nnn… ah.” He cried out softly in the heat of passion while he lowered himself down. Slowly, he rotated his hips in a circular way, already feeling the swollen head press against that spot that made him see white. He spread his legs further wantonly, letting his body slide down to the hilt, reveling in the depth of penetration.
He rolled his hips hedonistically, and thrust his pelvis back and forth in a circle again to search for the best angle and best position. It didn’t take him long to lift his weight and start a steady rhythm. He bounced up and down dexterously, switching between deep thrusts and shallow, always careful not to press his entire weight down on Gilbert’s body.
It was like being in a saddle, and he mastered the art of riding with outstanding velocity.
He was painfully aware of the fact that these were not morally sound actions, but he would close his eyes and imagine that Gilbert’s own were open. It quieted his mind when he envisioned his brother helping him out, rising off the mattress to buck up against him and meet his thrusts. These pictures controlled his own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The psychological pleasure became more and more intense as the vivid images continued to play out in his mind, and he derived most satisfaction and enjoyment from these fantasies.
He pulled his white shirt up to look at his own erection, and put his other hand on his thigh, still riding the Prussian. Large drops of clear pre-come were dribbling slowly down his shaft and scrotum. He dug his fingers into the silky skin of his inner thigh as his orgasm neared, unsure whether to let go just yet - usually, he could reach a second climax within few minutes after the first one, but he didn’t feel like dragging it out tonight.
The blond felt his muscles tightening in his lower abdomen and the first waves of pleasurable tingling, quickly shifting to shallow thrusts to delay his impending orgasm. Glancing up to see the pale, unresponsive features was enough to drive down his orgasmic euphoria.
Soon he closed his eyes anew, reaching between his legs to feel where his brother was connected to him, taking a full breath before starting to ride again, agile, fast, and light in movement.
He kept a steady pace for quite some time, but as his body grew tired he sought a more comfortable position. Breathing harshly, he slowed down to a stop to give his muscles a short break. He shifted to lower himself down, chest to chest with Gilbert, and bent his head to lean it onto his brother's shoulder as to avoid breathing directly into his ear. This was the closest he could get to Gilbert. His hands and elbows he rested on the pillow, on each side of Gilbert’s head, supporting himself while he raised his hips.
“Gilbert.” He breathed against his shoulder and kissed it, no longer trying to take in his whole length, keeping his thrusts shallow but fast, “Bruder…” His features twisted in pleasure, he was close to climax, “Bruder.” He repeated in a moan, bucking down as his body shook with an orgasm. Something he was particularly ashamed of was the immense pleasure he felt upon ejaculating over Gilbert’s abdomen. His breath hitched as he painted the pale skin with ribbons of white, enjoying in the slight clouding of consciousness.
His brother didn’t come. He never did.
He once noticed milky droplets on the tip of Gilbert’s shaft, but he was sad to discover that it was only pre-come.
Before starting to dispose of the evidences, he would take a break and lie next to the older nation. He felt ultimate bliss while being snuggled up against the Prussian. With all his misfortunes, these little details made him thankful even for the miserable situation he was in. He would settle into a comfortable position, wrap his arm around Gilbert’s body, and press his face against his shoulder or chest to relish in the wave of drowsiness.
He often had to fight the snooze reflex. Falling asleep would be dreadful, for he still had to wipe Gilbert’s body off with the clean cloth he has brought, and disappear from the bedroom before the sedative wore off or someone saw him. He recalled one time, a few months ago, when he had lapsed into velvety oblivion and dozed off beside the Prussian. A loud clatter coming from outside wrenched him awake and he had lurched out of the bed in the greatest rush imaginable. Frightened out of his wits, he dashed through the palace, shaking in panic long after he had reached his bedroom, locking the door behind him.
Ludwig let the frightful memory fade while he rubbed his nose against Gilbert’s warm body, fingers playing over the strong chest wearily, following the faint heart-beat with his palm and listening to his soft breathing. He craved a closer connection, something more continuous, something to depend on. He desired to be held in return. What he longed for was a relationship which was both sexually and emotionally satisfying-something he wasn’t able to get. Not with his brother.
He slid one hand under his side of the pillow, twisted his fingers in the fabric of Gilbert’s shirt in deep sorrow.
“Ich liebe dich.” He admitted in a husky whisper. Two warm drops slid down his still flushed cheeks, soaking into their shared cushion.
The gathering clouds outside foreboded a terrible storm.
To Be Continued…
A/N: If you read carefully, you could observe that Germany is neither a necrophile nor a somnophile. I hope you have recognized the hints that confirm this.
Also, I'm SO SORRY for not posting this earlier - it was written long ago, but due to some technical issues I wasn't able to share it with you earlier.
I need some motivation. Not even kidding - I didn't even start the next chapter yet, I just feel so ugh. Some encouragement would be wonderful, guys and gals.
Character(s): teen!Germany, Prussia, Austria
Pairing(s): Germany/Prussia
Rating: 18+
Warnings: sex; use of sedatives
Summary: Prussia is ashamed of his feelings for Germany and hides them. He doesn't know that Germany is trapped in an even worse snare. He remains clueless about Germany's nightly visits to his bedroom and that he is being molested. (story taking place before the Austro-Prussian War)
A/N: The chronological sequence may confuse some readers, but everything is done intentionally. How it came to all this you are about to read will be explained in the future chapter(s).
I want to drop a little comment before you proceed with reading. A human OC (original character) will appear briefly in this chapter, and I beg of you to be patient with me. I didn’t use an OC because I didn’t have anything else to write about, but because (with all needed respect) Germany couldn’t have pulled this off alone. As I said, the OC will be present only in this chapter, and I guarantee that no other humans will appear in future updates.
I owe a big thanks to raecat for beta-ing.
- Chapter 2 -
“What a terrible noise they make in the mornings. I thought I told them to leave the horses further away. Such impudence…” Roderich grumbled in dissatisfaction.
“Could you cut your story short, by any chance? I'm already lost waiting for your point.”
Ludwig glanced up from his book to look at the two nations sitting on an elegant, octagonal rosewood table, both entirely engrossed in the card game they were playing. The whole palace knew they were at a constant variance, and their arguments-ranging from these little argues to heated exchanges-were the most natural occurrence.
“Very amusing, Gilbert.” The Austrian gave him a look. “I meant that we should tighten our reigns on those coachmen, or they will continue to do as they please.”
“That was enlightening. Now pass me the deck, it's my turn to deal.” Gilbert gathered all cards in a single pack and began shuffling. “I hear nothing. Not at night, not in the morning. I have no inkling of what you’re talking about.” He put his elbow on the table, and offered Roderich to cut the deck.
“Nothing can wake you up. You sleep like a log.” The brunette commented.
Still comfortably seated in his arm-chair, Ludwig lifted the book to hide his face. He smiled with an air of coy secrecy, knowing full well why Gilbert wasn’t tired as he or Roderich. The Prussian has had a restful night full of sleep; it wasn’t a mystery he looked so refreshed.
When the two Germans began to play a new round, Ludwig found that he was more engaged in watching Gilbert than in reading, so he ended up laying the book aside. After all his exertions last night, he felt he deserved a rest. He let his body sink further into the inviting cushions, smiling vacantly at nothing in particular, indulging in an idle state of reverie. The Prussian across the room looked very becoming this morning. He always did.
Fatigued by Gilbert’s lack of compassion, Roderich changed the topic.
“Have you heard about that scandal from yesterday? It’s hard to imagine − that our personnel is supposed to be stealing.” He said, clearly appalled at the current events.
“It still puzzles me, what on earth would a maid do with sedatives?” Gilbert agreed with him for once.
Ludwig blanched at the mention of sedatives.
He thought his heart died within him for a moment. Terror and fright overwhelmed his mind, his pulse raised as he stared at them. He sat straight up and clenched his trembling fingers in fists, stiffly clutching at his breeches. Upon clearing his throat weakly, he spoke.
“Forgive my intrusion, but permit me to ask what you will do about it?” He demanded clarification.
Both turned to look at him, but Gilbert spoke first.
“I think it should be expunged. The palace doesn’t even need so many drugs.” He observed calmly.
“My opinion falls in with yours.” Roderich agreed, unconsciously tearing at Ludwig’s heart further. “It’s about the principle. We should not allow the servants to steal from the palace kitchen supply.”
Ludwig listened to their perfect indifference, barely knowing what to say to avoid drawing attention to his discontented mien.
“But what about emergency preparedness? What if someone suffers an injury? Surely, the hunting season will begin soon, it’s good to have bromide reserves in-“
“If an emergency happens, we will have someone go to the city to bring the needed medicine.” Gilbert retorted impatiently, a dark scowl present on his face while he studied his cards.
Ludwig felt uncomfortably conspicuous, since he was the only one who didn’t oppose the sedative provisions.
Gilbert eyed him warily for a moment, agog to the new twist in Ludwig’s demeanor. “Tell me, why do you take these trivial matters so personally?” He added, relenting a little.
“Forgive me,” Ludwig kept his head down as not to argue with his brother in front of Roderich. “You know better than I do.”
The Prussian watched him with renewed interest for some time before laughingly dismissing the whole affair and changing the subject.
“Would you like to go out for a walk later?” He asked the younger German.
“It’s drizzly today, I don’t fancy going out this evening.” Ludwig replied quietly, trying to look composed and unconcerned.
“May I be excused?” He requested after a minute, keeping his eyes glued to the parquet.
“I’d rather you stay with us, but if you wish.” Gilbert paused in hope for an answer, but Ludwig merely gave a nod and left the salon, hurrying to consult a certain person.
* * *
“Young Master.” The kitchen chamberlain bowed after she arrived at the meeting place, but Ludwig shook his head quickly.
“Raise, Madam, no need for such formality.”
The German lady was a motherly person in her middle ages, gray-haired, with oval features which seemed to convey her pleasant, friendly character. She was still good-looking, irrespective of age. Ludwig knew she must have had a reputation as a great beauty during her younger age.
“Have you heard the news?” Ludwig questioned right away, and she could already sense the bitterness of his spirit. “Not the stealing, of course, but that they will confiscate all sedatives.”
“They already did.”
To Ludwig, who hoped to secure more supplies for himself, this information was devastating. Now he couldn’t even save the sedatives that were left. He came to search for bromide that was still unspoiled, but found only failure instead. The lady caught his attention when she handed him a small bottle, carefully packed in a wad of soft material.
“It isn’t much, but it’s everything I was able to save for you.”
He cradled the sedative and held it against his chest, endlessly grateful to the chamberlain for her efforts.
“But for your assistance, I’d be helpless. I shall see to it that you are properly rewarded for your services to me.” Ludwig assured. The drug was more worth than gold to him. The small amount he had in that bottle was enough to induce deep sleep within a relatively short amount of time.
“Your trust is reward enough, young Master.” The lady cupped his cheek in her gloved hand protectively, fine wrinkles around her eyes became more visible when her lips formed a smile. “I am glad to see that your spirits haven’t been destroyed.” She encouraged.
Ludwig watched this refined woman, reminding himself that this was the only lady on earth who knew that his bed stood idle during some nights. It was only after a long discussion that he was sure in her loyalty. She was now the only human he trusted with his secret, and the one from whom he had got the full account about this drug. It was a substance that became a popular sedative and was widely prescribed − a sedative harmless for a nation, and therefore safe to use on Gilbert.
“Thank you.” Ludwig almost whispered. He never expected a human to develop such kind of affection for him. She withdrew her hand, and for a moment he found himself longing for the motherly touch.
“Please remind your maids about my presence in Prussia’s room tonight. I will brook no interference in this matter.”
She made a gesture of obeisance, and departed soon thereafter.
* * *
Ludwig rushed to his bedroom with the intent to stow his goods in his hiding-place, and save them for future use.
Rarely have his prospects seemed so bad. His short childhood was devoid of calamities, but now he seemed to be exposed to so many unforeseen changes, it appeared almost unreal. The sudden turn of events made him firmly believe that some extraordinary power decided to punish him for all his actions.
The Fortune trampled on him more than once, but he wasn’t sure if he could survive this blow.
Ludwig has always been very careful as to not excite speculation and expose himself to public ridicule. But above everything, he was terrified by the idea of Gilbert finding out about his nightly visits.
The blond unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled a delicately carved hardwood chest out. He lifted the lid to reveal his treasure. Underneath the tray was a secret compartment, hiding a tiny bottle half-filled with sedative, and an oval glass jar containing lubricant. He has used his last full bottle of bromide last night. How could he have known that the lack of sedatives in the palace would be discovered?
Desperate, he buried his face into his palms in a moment of misery and despair, finally admitting to himself to having started a fire he didn’t know how to fight.
He spread his fingers apart to eye the new bottle quickly, and found himself agitated by the sense of loss. The decision he made defied all logic, but didn’t put him off from going into Gilbert’s bedroom tonight.
* * *
“You will not mind my disturbing you, I hope.” Ludwig said as he peered from the hall, already knowing the answer. He didn’t have to fear Gilbert viewing his motives with suspicion.
Smiling brightly, Gilbert bade him enter. He chose to postpone his duties for tomorrow. A cup of strong tea, a generous fire and Ludwig’s presence formed a harmony which made him forget his work.
“You always bring me the tea. I should have you employed as my personal butler.” The jocose Prussian teased, watching the younger nation stroll towards him.
“All empty promises.” Ludwig jested in return when he stopped beside the seated nation and left the hot drink upon his desk. “I know uncle Roderich said your joke will bear repeating, but it doesn’t get better with time.” He pushed the porcelain saucer and the matching cup in front of the Prussian, causing him to remove the letters he has been writing in order to make some free space. “It’s just as you like it, brother. Hot and without sugar.” Ludwig added.
Gilbert beckoned him closer, and with a look of mild puzzlement, Ludwig leaned down, expecting the Prussian to whisper something into his ear. This thought confused him even further, since they were alone in the bedroom and Gilbert was safe to voice his thoughts out loud.
Instead of a whisper, he received a kiss on the cheek.
Gilbert has always been terribly fond of him. Apart from the short week following his body transformation-a period during which Gilbert had avoided him like the plague-he has never denied him affection. Ludwig’s heart warmed at the gesture, but he had limited control over his erections, for he was young, and the slightest stimulus caused by the Prussian fired his imagination.
He flinched backwards and straightened his body again; the kiss has caught him unaware.
“It’s late, I should be returning to my room.” He smothered the sudden arousal behind his words.
“I don’t mind. Stay a little longer. I insist.” Gilbert stressed, stifling the burning disappointment in his chest, but oblivious to the real motives of Ludwig’s withdrawal.
The younger German sank into the opposite seat, and watched his brother sip on the drink.
“You’ve been to the city last week. Tell me, how are the people?” Ludwig inquired while he relished in the feeling of having Gilbert all to himself.
The Prussian pondered for a moment. “Not good.” He said and put the cup down. “But I'm not afraid, it will get much worse.”
Ludwig frowned at his strange sense of humor. “I thought you strive to make their life better.”
“That is exactly what we try to do.” Gilbert affirmed, but didn’t go into details. Ludwig wondered if the sedative has already started to work as he watched his brother’s attractive features basking in the mellow light of the candles.
“I would do anything for my people. I’m ready to die for them, if necessary.” The younger nation added in a somewhat quieter voice.
“There is something more you can do. Live for them.” They shared a long look before the Prussian lifted his teacup and drank up in gusto.
“May I trouble you to pass me that book?” Gilbert pointed at the bookcase behind Ludwig, and the younger blond immediately rose to follow his request. “The only one on the top shelf.”
Gilbert followed him with a longing gaze the entire time, but this escaped Ludwig’s notice.
After he handed his brother the desired item, he returned to find a book for his own enjoyment. With his back turned to the older nation, Ludwig spoke.
“Brother, do I please you?” He questioned with so much affection, it made the Prussian’s heart melt with love.
“Yes. Your presence is very agreeable.” He answered. Ludwig’s words stirred up feelings in him that he has been trying to suppress for months; quite unsuccessfully. He let his gaze dwell on Ludwig with that same longing, scarlet eyes roaming all over his figure. But as soon as he recognized desire and glimmering hope rising within him, he averted his eyes to open the book, flipping through the volume before he stopped at a random page.
In all his solitary life, he has never felt such a deep yearning for another nation. His feelings ranged from gentle affection to an earnest wish to tame the blond and have him only for himself. But Ludwig's words from back then were not far from truth − he was a coward. A coward at the thought of failure and at being rejected by the nation he called his brother, his family. And thus he continued to be obstinately deaf to all subtleties and hints, causing despair to both him and Ludwig.
He continued to consult his book in silence, unaware of Ludwig’s analytical gaze on him.
Gilbert was valiant and upright. He was an honorable nation. But his weakness was that he trusted his brother too much. An innocent-eyed look could easily deceive a nation of many winters as Prussia was. Therefore Ludwig could rest assured that no suspicion could alight on him.
He watched as Gilbert’s body relaxed visibly after a short time, his body resting in a comfortable position while satisfaction came over him in waves. He knew Gilbert was about to fall asleep, it was only a matter of minutes.
The Prussian gave a yawn, his eyelids drooping with weariness as he looked across the table at the blond with a half-smile on his lips. “Alas, I feel a bit sleepy. Perhaps you would want to go back to your room now?”
Ludwig nodded and returned the book he picked up earlier. Gilbert saw him to the door, and there they parted.
* * *
Ludwig never imagined he would stoop so low.
He knew that he had made a deep error by starting all this, but it seemed almost impossible to stop now. He was a prisoner, confined behind the bars of his own carnal desire, with no hope of redemption.
The clocks were striking twelve when he found himself in front of Gilbert’s bedroom once again. The sedative ought to have taken effect by now. He entered quietly, and locked the door.
Guided by the gleam of moonshine that shone faintly through the windows, he glided between the table and the four-poster bed smoothly. While he ambled along the room, his heart rate and the grip on his small jar increased. Before sitting on the bed, he noticed that the fire burned down to embers. As he watched the glowing remains of the dying fire, he felt the reproach of his own conscience, but he banished the thoughts from his mind as soon as they had arisen.
He looked over at the sleeping nation, and the sight confused whatever rational thoughts he might have had until this point.
Ludwig was deeply ashamed at his deeds, but he had little scruple in his mind once he saw Gilbert lying on a bed. What in fact had led him and gave him courage enough to do this remained a complete mystery even to him.
He stepped closer, blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. The sound of his own beating heart boomed through his ears when he sat beside the Prussian. His eagerness made him senseless of danger. After nine months of routine, he became so naturalized to this practice that he didn’t fear anymore. Yet simple acts like kissing Gilbert or placing his palms against his chest were still sufficient to make him aroused.
He removed all his clothes but his shirt, and straddled the Prussian carefully. Leaning flat on his palms, he bent down, and pressed a light kiss on a smooth, white brow, and repeated the same on the pointed tip of Gilbert’s straight nose. An uncontrollable smile broke out on Ludwig’s lips when he traveled over the frills running down the center of Gilbert’s shirt. He unbuttoned it slowly and opened it wide, brazenly displaying a tremendous stretch of bare skin, fingers brushing over the beautiful muscular chest.
Skillful hands moved across the alabaster skin, over the body he knew by heart, over each curve and each ridge, kissing the scars he could reach, remainders of so many battles. He usually began with sucking and nipping at his nipples, working on one while fingers glided to the other one over the light covering of soft hair on his chest, drawing small circles around it. He lavished them with attention until they finally became erect, and he smiled in happiness when this happened, giving another peck before moving lower like a virtuoso.
Gilbert pelvic muscles were a work of art. Ludwig felt an impulsive tingle of jealousy as he traced the indention on each side of his lower stomach, but the envious reaction was quickly replaced by lust. He undid his brother’s breeches, and pulled them down enough to reveal his flaccid member. Even though Ludwig has never had a chance to try it, he imagined that it was easier to suck cock while a man was already hard. He usually spent quite some time on getting Gilbert hard, but a thought of giving up has never crossed his mind.
He curled his fingers around the base in a gentle squeeze, pulling up and sliding off like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. When he was lucky, Gilbert would get an erection with the slightest touch of his hand, but sometimes it took an eternity to get him hard.
The dexterity with which Ludwig plied his fingers made the shaft in his hand swell and lengthen fast, so he leaned in to lick across the swollen head of the cock in soft, wet strokes, warm tongue circling around it. Ludwig felt himself getting even harder. He flicked the tongue-tip in the indentation on the underside of the penis where the glans meets his shaft, and proceeded with assiduous care until it became firm in his mouth. For all his hygienic tendencies, he loved having Gilbert’s cock in his mouth. His heart fluttered as he imagined the Prussian watching him, or breathing hard while he sucked him like this, gasping when he stroked his balls. A familiar sting of pain throbbed in his chest after he glanced up to see Gilbert’s peaceful face.
Beforehand preparation helped Ludwig save time, and thus maintain Gilbert’s erection, for as long as he stimulated him the erection remained consistent. He pulled his lips off of his glorious cock and licked the glans once more − there was pre-come yesterday, but not tonight − finding that it was ready to serve its purpose.
So far so good.
He retrieved the bottle that he had laid aside earlier to apply the lubricant onto his brother’s erect shaft, and, although it had no practical use, he rubbed it into his scrotum as well.
Ludwig’s shaft stood aggressively erect as he mounted the Prussian. For his own convenience, he slipped smaller pillows under his knees, and settled into a position that allowed him to control the speed and depth of penetration. It was the only position he could perform with a sleeping partner.
He held Gilbert’s cock upright to position himself, and once he began moving slowly down the long shaft his eyes screwed shut in sheer pleasure, his erection twitched enthusiastically.
“Nnn… ah.” He cried out softly in the heat of passion while he lowered himself down. Slowly, he rotated his hips in a circular way, already feeling the swollen head press against that spot that made him see white. He spread his legs further wantonly, letting his body slide down to the hilt, reveling in the depth of penetration.
He rolled his hips hedonistically, and thrust his pelvis back and forth in a circle again to search for the best angle and best position. It didn’t take him long to lift his weight and start a steady rhythm. He bounced up and down dexterously, switching between deep thrusts and shallow, always careful not to press his entire weight down on Gilbert’s body.
It was like being in a saddle, and he mastered the art of riding with outstanding velocity.
He was painfully aware of the fact that these were not morally sound actions, but he would close his eyes and imagine that Gilbert’s own were open. It quieted his mind when he envisioned his brother helping him out, rising off the mattress to buck up against him and meet his thrusts. These pictures controlled his own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The psychological pleasure became more and more intense as the vivid images continued to play out in his mind, and he derived most satisfaction and enjoyment from these fantasies.
He pulled his white shirt up to look at his own erection, and put his other hand on his thigh, still riding the Prussian. Large drops of clear pre-come were dribbling slowly down his shaft and scrotum. He dug his fingers into the silky skin of his inner thigh as his orgasm neared, unsure whether to let go just yet - usually, he could reach a second climax within few minutes after the first one, but he didn’t feel like dragging it out tonight.
The blond felt his muscles tightening in his lower abdomen and the first waves of pleasurable tingling, quickly shifting to shallow thrusts to delay his impending orgasm. Glancing up to see the pale, unresponsive features was enough to drive down his orgasmic euphoria.
Soon he closed his eyes anew, reaching between his legs to feel where his brother was connected to him, taking a full breath before starting to ride again, agile, fast, and light in movement.
He kept a steady pace for quite some time, but as his body grew tired he sought a more comfortable position. Breathing harshly, he slowed down to a stop to give his muscles a short break. He shifted to lower himself down, chest to chest with Gilbert, and bent his head to lean it onto his brother's shoulder as to avoid breathing directly into his ear. This was the closest he could get to Gilbert. His hands and elbows he rested on the pillow, on each side of Gilbert’s head, supporting himself while he raised his hips.
“Gilbert.” He breathed against his shoulder and kissed it, no longer trying to take in his whole length, keeping his thrusts shallow but fast, “Bruder…” His features twisted in pleasure, he was close to climax, “Bruder.” He repeated in a moan, bucking down as his body shook with an orgasm. Something he was particularly ashamed of was the immense pleasure he felt upon ejaculating over Gilbert’s abdomen. His breath hitched as he painted the pale skin with ribbons of white, enjoying in the slight clouding of consciousness.
His brother didn’t come. He never did.
He once noticed milky droplets on the tip of Gilbert’s shaft, but he was sad to discover that it was only pre-come.
Before starting to dispose of the evidences, he would take a break and lie next to the older nation. He felt ultimate bliss while being snuggled up against the Prussian. With all his misfortunes, these little details made him thankful even for the miserable situation he was in. He would settle into a comfortable position, wrap his arm around Gilbert’s body, and press his face against his shoulder or chest to relish in the wave of drowsiness.
He often had to fight the snooze reflex. Falling asleep would be dreadful, for he still had to wipe Gilbert’s body off with the clean cloth he has brought, and disappear from the bedroom before the sedative wore off or someone saw him. He recalled one time, a few months ago, when he had lapsed into velvety oblivion and dozed off beside the Prussian. A loud clatter coming from outside wrenched him awake and he had lurched out of the bed in the greatest rush imaginable. Frightened out of his wits, he dashed through the palace, shaking in panic long after he had reached his bedroom, locking the door behind him.
Ludwig let the frightful memory fade while he rubbed his nose against Gilbert’s warm body, fingers playing over the strong chest wearily, following the faint heart-beat with his palm and listening to his soft breathing. He craved a closer connection, something more continuous, something to depend on. He desired to be held in return. What he longed for was a relationship which was both sexually and emotionally satisfying-something he wasn’t able to get. Not with his brother.
He slid one hand under his side of the pillow, twisted his fingers in the fabric of Gilbert’s shirt in deep sorrow.
“Ich liebe dich.” He admitted in a husky whisper. Two warm drops slid down his still flushed cheeks, soaking into their shared cushion.
The gathering clouds outside foreboded a terrible storm.
To Be Continued…
A/N: If you read carefully, you could observe that Germany is neither a necrophile nor a somnophile. I hope you have recognized the hints that confirm this.
Also, I'm SO SORRY for not posting this earlier - it was written long ago, but due to some technical issues I wasn't able to share it with you earlier.
I need some motivation. Not even kidding - I didn't even start the next chapter yet, I just feel so ugh. Some encouragement would be wonderful, guys and gals.