Waiting for my life to kick in again!
Well, It is strange, being back home for the summer has made my life calm down, even if it took some effort to do so. I am more of my self emotionally as I was back then. I focus on love in the abstract, as I did then... meaning I just have crushes on people I never see, rather than on real people who I could date....The only difference is instead of waiting forever to watch television shows with the sound muted in my locked room, I go out and be me with my true friends.
I love hanging out with my friends, too bad Lizz kinda is too busy with her boyfriend and her ex to spend time with me. SO I am just going to move on with my life, and wait until she figures out that she hasn't put much of an effort into her best friends relationships lately... I mean it would be sad if she never realizes this, but it is better than me constantly calling and making plans like a puppy dog and letting us both down.
Otherwise, other friends are great... college friends and those who "know" me are great.
So many people from my past are all not as close as I would have hoped. This is because who they know is not me but a mask... and it is hard to upgrade that.
Any way, I got a kinda creepy im today, which reminded me I want to date someone ... not that that wasn't ever not on my mind, but hey... but it also reminded me, someone reads this? ... and hey other people have cool livejournals, and I gotta give Krista something to read... so hey.... anyway...
Me emotionally, happy with myself, very happy for others, need to exercise, want a relationship, but don't "need" one anymore
Me logically, work, friends, days off go visit people who actually know me, family life everyoone goes to their own computer screens to life seperately....
I kinda see a lot of people who somewhat like me, and I could date them and make them happy if I wanted, but I don't think that would be fair, I just have to wait until I have the feelings... because that is what I need.... and then we can work from there... so that is why I am waiting for life to kick in, I am waiting for that feeling again... because I know the meaning of my life... and that is helping others... as well as helping the one I want to spend the rest of my life with... or at least try....
I love hanging out with my friends, too bad Lizz kinda is too busy with her boyfriend and her ex to spend time with me. SO I am just going to move on with my life, and wait until she figures out that she hasn't put much of an effort into her best friends relationships lately... I mean it would be sad if she never realizes this, but it is better than me constantly calling and making plans like a puppy dog and letting us both down.
Otherwise, other friends are great... college friends and those who "know" me are great.
So many people from my past are all not as close as I would have hoped. This is because who they know is not me but a mask... and it is hard to upgrade that.
Any way, I got a kinda creepy im today, which reminded me I want to date someone ... not that that wasn't ever not on my mind, but hey... but it also reminded me, someone reads this? ... and hey other people have cool livejournals, and I gotta give Krista something to read... so hey.... anyway...
Me emotionally, happy with myself, very happy for others, need to exercise, want a relationship, but don't "need" one anymore
Me logically, work, friends, days off go visit people who actually know me, family life everyoone goes to their own computer screens to life seperately....
I kinda see a lot of people who somewhat like me, and I could date them and make them happy if I wanted, but I don't think that would be fair, I just have to wait until I have the feelings... because that is what I need.... and then we can work from there... so that is why I am waiting for life to kick in, I am waiting for that feeling again... because I know the meaning of my life... and that is helping others... as well as helping the one I want to spend the rest of my life with... or at least try....