college life
College started again today. You could see the crowd of students was excited -- not so much with the the lecture, but more with each other. After all, that story about how you went to Tunisia and got so drunk that you pissed in the pool is really much more interesting than what a grey and unimpressive bloke has to say about dolus and culpa and people getting away with killing people.
I was really close to telling Joanne to just shut it today. I get so sick of her -- when I come in she's already there with Sabien, going blablabla and before I sit down I can already tell what the story is about, but even if I didn't it wouldn't matter 'cause she would make it clear another thousand times. But she's talking to Sabien and ignores me and I try to ignore her, but her voice goes on and on and all I can hear is yap yap yap and I think about shutting her up with an irritated "Sssh!" or telling her how I feel and I feel so maliciously happy as I imagine the look on her face.
Because she is so ignorant, my friends, if she's not the personification of ignorance. She has not the tiniest CLUE that she is hated and resented not just by me, but by at least seventy percent of the people that have met her/been around her.
And I think: why, God? What did I do wrong to deserve such horrors? Why must I be punished so harshly for my lack of social skills, for my ineptitude to say no? If this is a test, then you sure are a cruel entity with a twisted mind! Take my limbs or my children any time, but don't put me through this, please, I beg, looking up in despair to face a far away ceiling, with dust dancing down from it.
But God owes nothing to no one. He stays perfectly silent.
Once upon a time there were only Fun and Bliss, and everyone was god in their own world. And then God came and took over and he created the World where he made Fun and Bliss into fun and bliss and misery and anger. And because God was in control of them, the people were at his mercy and no one's ever gotten into heaven ever since. And that's the real story and not that bullshit the Bible contains.
I was really close to telling Joanne to just shut it today. I get so sick of her -- when I come in she's already there with Sabien, going blablabla and before I sit down I can already tell what the story is about, but even if I didn't it wouldn't matter 'cause she would make it clear another thousand times. But she's talking to Sabien and ignores me and I try to ignore her, but her voice goes on and on and all I can hear is yap yap yap and I think about shutting her up with an irritated "Sssh!" or telling her how I feel and I feel so maliciously happy as I imagine the look on her face.
Because she is so ignorant, my friends, if she's not the personification of ignorance. She has not the tiniest CLUE that she is hated and resented not just by me, but by at least seventy percent of the people that have met her/been around her.
And I think: why, God? What did I do wrong to deserve such horrors? Why must I be punished so harshly for my lack of social skills, for my ineptitude to say no? If this is a test, then you sure are a cruel entity with a twisted mind! Take my limbs or my children any time, but don't put me through this, please, I beg, looking up in despair to face a far away ceiling, with dust dancing down from it.
But God owes nothing to no one. He stays perfectly silent.
Once upon a time there were only Fun and Bliss, and everyone was god in their own world. And then God came and took over and he created the World where he made Fun and Bliss into fun and bliss and misery and anger. And because God was in control of them, the people were at his mercy and no one's ever gotten into heaven ever since. And that's the real story and not that bullshit the Bible contains.