(no subject)
i forgot to mention this
easter morning one of my classmate's dad died
clell lobb
i'm not good friends with him or anything
but that breaks my heart
for him
i hate it
today i had to have my granny take me back to town because i left my necklace at the tanning bed
and she got me some lunch
and we got held up right in front of the funeral home
due to the funeral procession
death is just so
i dunno
scary
when a baby is born it is one of the most beautiful things
and then death
is just so dark and
oh me
poor clell
i hate this for him
when something like this happens
you feel like you are all alone
and you are selfish
but i think you have a right to be
you don't understand why the sun shines
and why all these people around you are happy
you just want them to be sad to
and feel what you feel
and ask yourself why me?
and it's just a horrible feeling to lose someone
to know you will never hear their voice again
never see them do the things they always did before
all you have left of that person are memories
that's one good thing
whenever you need that person you can alwasy pull out a memory
and eventually you will be able to smile again
and laugh again
it's just like a wound you get from a bicyle wreck
at hurts so bad at first
you cry and weep
but someone is there to clean out the rocks and dirt
you have to get past that
and eventually it heals
but it always leaves a scar
i don't think you are ever 'okay'
especailly when you lose someone so close to you
i don't think you ever 'get over it'
you just move on because you have to
you can't live life being bitter
the person you lost wouldn't want you to
and what sucks is you are neevr prepared
you can never really say goodbye
you want to keep that person here with you forever
but you can't
and it's heart breaking
i don't understand how clell feels
i have never lost a parent
i've thought about upon more than one time
and i can't even imagine
the pain and hurt he feels
all i know is i've thought about him alot
and i will pray for him
that's all i can do
when i went back to the tanning bed
sam allen was there
and she had been at the funeral home
and i asked how he was doing
and she said awful
last night he went into panic attacks
and he just couldn't even talk
that gives me chills just thinking about it
while i sat there and watched all the cars follow behing the hurse
i got chills
because all those people lost someone
the person that died was someone to all those people
a dad, a brother, a husband, a uncle, a nephew, or a friend
oh it's just depressing
sorry for all those depressing words
i just keep thinking
and think about all the things you've ever said to someone
all the hurtful things you've said
if you knew they were going to die tomorrow
or today
would you take it back
and did you really mean it
if something happened to that person would you still be there
that's why we all need to live life to the fullest
and don't hold grudges
that's the worst thing you can do
you expect that person to be here forever
and you think well one day things will be okay between us
there might not be that one day
you need to do it now
okay that's enough
i can't type anymore
lauren
easter morning one of my classmate's dad died
clell lobb
i'm not good friends with him or anything
but that breaks my heart
for him
i hate it
today i had to have my granny take me back to town because i left my necklace at the tanning bed
and she got me some lunch
and we got held up right in front of the funeral home
due to the funeral procession
death is just so
i dunno
scary
when a baby is born it is one of the most beautiful things
and then death
is just so dark and
oh me
poor clell
i hate this for him
when something like this happens
you feel like you are all alone
and you are selfish
but i think you have a right to be
you don't understand why the sun shines
and why all these people around you are happy
you just want them to be sad to
and feel what you feel
and ask yourself why me?
and it's just a horrible feeling to lose someone
to know you will never hear their voice again
never see them do the things they always did before
all you have left of that person are memories
that's one good thing
whenever you need that person you can alwasy pull out a memory
and eventually you will be able to smile again
and laugh again
it's just like a wound you get from a bicyle wreck
at hurts so bad at first
you cry and weep
but someone is there to clean out the rocks and dirt
you have to get past that
and eventually it heals
but it always leaves a scar
i don't think you are ever 'okay'
especailly when you lose someone so close to you
i don't think you ever 'get over it'
you just move on because you have to
you can't live life being bitter
the person you lost wouldn't want you to
and what sucks is you are neevr prepared
you can never really say goodbye
you want to keep that person here with you forever
but you can't
and it's heart breaking
i don't understand how clell feels
i have never lost a parent
i've thought about upon more than one time
and i can't even imagine
the pain and hurt he feels
all i know is i've thought about him alot
and i will pray for him
that's all i can do
when i went back to the tanning bed
sam allen was there
and she had been at the funeral home
and i asked how he was doing
and she said awful
last night he went into panic attacks
and he just couldn't even talk
that gives me chills just thinking about it
while i sat there and watched all the cars follow behing the hurse
i got chills
because all those people lost someone
the person that died was someone to all those people
a dad, a brother, a husband, a uncle, a nephew, or a friend
oh it's just depressing
sorry for all those depressing words
i just keep thinking
and think about all the things you've ever said to someone
all the hurtful things you've said
if you knew they were going to die tomorrow
or today
would you take it back
and did you really mean it
if something happened to that person would you still be there
that's why we all need to live life to the fullest
and don't hold grudges
that's the worst thing you can do
you expect that person to be here forever
and you think well one day things will be okay between us
there might not be that one day
you need to do it now
okay that's enough
i can't type anymore
lauren