Welcome Back, Mr McDonald!

[myjulien]

AU Fic: Merboys (5/5)
Pairings: Sho/Aiba, Nino/Aiba
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,553 / 8,346 (I write in Pages though, and it seems to count a lot of unnecessary things)
Aiba is a curious merboy. And yes, he strikes a faustian bargain to meet a human prince on land.
The final part, for joyeuxnoel and ph-otometry who both donated generously to the arashi_on fundraiser. I still owe

Comments

[miyawoks]

Oh and p.s. (because I read the last chapter again and again and again...)
I would like to think that sho loved aiba... More than a pet maybe, but as to the love that's needed to sustain the latter's life... But maybe something that's going there (and you may correct me if I'm wrong. After all, you are the author :) ) I would also like to think that aiba and nino were (literally) reborn because of sho's love.. But something tells me that it was actually all of nino's doing... Which makes me a little sad, since in the end, the prince in this story (and I'm alluding to princes in fairytales) did not do anything at all to help his princess....

But come to think about it... I guess sho really did fall in live because he was able to speak audibly in the end?... Am confused now... But still deeply affected (and very apologetic for babbling... My incoherency stems from the depressive nature of your story, which, no matter how I read it again and again, does not hav a happy ending T_T)

This is sooo sad! I mean, it kinda follows the sad ending of the original little mermaid story, but I was a Disney baby when I was young so this is still as depressingly sad as the first time I read the real story (not the Disney version)...

But thanks for this... I scoured your fics and I'm always amazed about the raw emotions your fics always emit... They're like teenagers with raging hormones, intense and mostly angsty. I do look forward to your futuere stories ^_^

[myjulien]

Heyyy thanks so much for reading my writing and commenting so thoughtfully! It really makes me happy. :)

Sho really did love Aiba at the end, so Aiba got his voice back in the last few moments and I'm really glad that I managed to show that (honestly, I find that difficult sometimes, I can be too vague because I'm unable to actually write clearly sigh :().

And that's an interesting idea and one that makes me happy: that Aiba and Nino were literally reborn and because of Sho's love (or Nino). I'm not actually a very 'deep' person sad to say so I was just writing the cutaway in an open-ended way (and thinking joy! joy! it's almost done and not thinking too much about it) so thank you for giving me that idea/interpretation! It's very helpful!

Also food for thought is your hypothesis that most princes in fairytales don't do anything to help their princesses (even when they do)- I've read a lot about that phenomenon all over. It's why they seem to always be shunted to the background.

I'm sorry that my story was so depressing, I wish I'd made it clever somehow (especially considering this story was very spontaneous: I never had plans to really carry through beyond the first scene and the whole way at that so I'm still amazed that i did in some ways). I tried to follow the original telling of the fairytale though so a tragic ending was in order. I am touched that it seems to have deeply affected you- high compliments indeed!

Lawl that's sad that they seem to be teenagers with raging hormones in my fic (mm, now Arashi during that time period sounds like fun to write) but I can't deny the ring of truth: I've always thought that sadly my fic should be described as overwrought or overblown angst!

Again, thanks so much for reading and commenting: I really enjoyed your comments and it's nice to reply as well! :)

[miyawoks]

Haha just a segueway, but I'm a little embarrassed about all the typos I made in my last post... I was typing away like some possessed person and didn't really re-read what I wrote...

Anyhoo.... don't apologize for the depression that is your story... I guess that's the charm of your writing... depressing does not really equate to something negative (in terms of the contents of the story), it's just that I'm the type of (fan)fic reader who likes to read about rainbows and unicorns and all things sunny and bright (basically, the "Aiba Dazzle") when it comes to my OTP/s (Yes, I am a Sakuraiba fan with hints of Aimiya in my closet... anything Aiba for me is <3), so an ending with no OTP's happily ever after is a sad case for me :P

Can I be a bit (constructively) critical though? (Am sorry, I read your whole fic AGAIN AFTER I've already posted my comments) There are some unfinished details in your story... like why does Sho know Aiba's name, and who does Aiba remind Sho of... and some other things... I apologize for pointing these out... it's just that it makes me more curious about the finer details in your story... In short, I seriously want to read more of your works!!!! Please, please!!! And can I request something which does not involve me withering on the ground because of sheer exhaustion from crying my eyes out? Pretty please? :)

[myjulien]

Aw, I like when people forget themselves and type away like possessed persons in their comments on fic!

I have a penchant for Aiba as well, as I'm sure you've noticed so finding a kindred soul is yay! :)

Sure, thanks for the concrit, I always appreciate it! And yeah actually you hit it bang on; it sticks in my craw but I actually... have no idea. I couldn't go back and change it after all that and I think that in the beginning I actually had a plan but because I don't really write down notes, by the time I completed the fic I had totally forgotten what my intentions were.

There was even something else I wanted to write in that I only just belatedly remembered yesterday as well ha. So the Sho/Masaki backstory is still up in the air and I think it weakens the story a lot. I was actually expecting someone to bring that up anytime.

If I ever remember or figure it out I'll definitely write some scenes to fit it all together

What other unfinished/finer details are you curious about for this story, if you still remember and don't mind me asking? I think I need to go back and read this with a fine-toothed comb in hand and anything at all would help! I can be a bit unconscious of/unconcerned with sometimes!

I'm so flattered that you want to read more of my writing! I have a lot of fundraiser fic I owe people! They've been really patient too.

You've really made my day- I'm so happy that my story is rereadable to you!