BUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Qurl I love you. XD
One thaaaang, when you said the sun was peeking between the curtains you spelt it 'peaking'. I see no other errors though, so I just thought I'd point that out. ONTO REVIEWING OMG.
The sex scene was really tastefully done and I could really see how it would be on a screen and ajhdfjgfdgjhg!
The door then slowly opens. Matthew doesn't peer through the crack between the door and the frame; he simply stands straight and stares at the man in front of him. I love love love that! I like how it says a lot about his character :D
"Because I still have no idea if this is a dream." I love that line but I feel it gets a bit lost in the dialogue? It seems like it should be the last line in a scene or something, rather than just in the middle of the conversation. It's awesome though :'D
Awkward phone conversation + Joel cooking sjkhdsjhffdg!
The kiss is simple and chaste, yet far from the basic peck. Uguuuuuuu *-* I love everything XD And how Joel is just so nonchalant I love it I love it I love it XD
BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. ANYWAY I LOVE IT. XD
I went in and fixed that in the actual script; I'll have to replace the image later today. Thanks for pointing it out ndfhjfdjkdfh
I had a really hard time with the sex scene because I don't... write... those... and I was having a hard time figuring out how to present it so thank you asdf
Yeah, I was having difficulty with that line because I wasn't sure how to advance the conversation. This is just the first draft, so there will be a lot of changes when I go through the entire thing again after it's completed.
Awkward conversations galore! They're all over this goddamn thing.
Qurl I love you. XD
One thaaaang, when you said the sun was peeking between the curtains you spelt it 'peaking'. I see no other errors though, so I just thought I'd point that out. ONTO REVIEWING OMG.
The sex scene was really tastefully done and I could really see how it would be on a screen and ajhdfjgfdgjhg!
The door then slowly opens. Matthew doesn't peer through the crack between the door and the frame; he simply stands straight and stares at the man in front of him.
I love love love that! I like how it says a lot about his character :D
"Because I still have no idea if this is a dream."
I love that line but I feel it gets a bit lost in the dialogue? It seems like it should be the last line in a scene or something, rather than just in the middle of the conversation. It's awesome though :'D
Awkward phone conversation + Joel cooking sjkhdsjhffdg!
The kiss is simple and chaste, yet far from the basic peck.
Uguuuuuuu *-* I love everything XD
And how Joel is just so nonchalant I love it I love it I love it XD
BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. ANYWAY I LOVE IT. XD
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I had a really hard time with the sex scene because I don't... write... those... and I was having a hard time figuring out how to present it so thank you asdf
Yeah, I was having difficulty with that line because I wasn't sure how to advance the conversation. This is just the first draft, so there will be a lot of changes when I go through the entire thing again after it's completed.
Awkward conversations galore! They're all over this goddamn thing.
♥ ♥ ♥!
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