mneh

[myhighway09]

I severly dislike my family sometimes. I hate the way my mother treats me when all i want to be able to tell her is that i'm moving the fuck out and that there is nothing else you can possibly take from me. you already have all of my love i could ever possibly have had for you, and now you're slowly taking my sanity. WHAT THE FUCK? I'm 19. I'm not going to be living at home for the next 2 years. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE. how can you possibly NOT get it that i have my own life? I understand that my brother obviously has no wanting to leave the house or get a job, or be successful or ANYTHING. and because god forbid i want to pick up more hours on friday and saturday for next week because my parents are leaving i thought it would be a good idea. nooooo..according to my mother it was a "rude and unthoughtful" gesture, because i must be too much of a bitch to realize. She said specifcially that "you wanted this dog and now you're not going to be here to take care of her, and that (ben) didn't want the damn dog and now hes going to be stuck taking care of her" ITS NOT MY FUCKING DOG. yes i do love her and yes i like her and don't mind taking care of her. BUT SHE IS NOT A DAMN BARGANING CHIP. damn you. damn you all. I'M TRYING TO GET MY LIFE FUCKING TOGETHER. Stop blaming me. and now she doesn't want me going up to ONU the weekend after because that means i won't be home at all. THATS MY FUCKING SISTERHOOD INITIATING MEMBERS THAT I'VE NEVER MET YET YOU @(&#@(Q*$&.

i miss them so bad, i envy everything they get to do. i have no life here. i barely have any friends here. i don't have a "college" experience here. i don't go to parties here. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?

I'm so unhappy...thank god i get to leave at 3 to go get my friggen check.

And i haven't even told them about moving out yet.....damn them. damn them for making this so hard.. damn them for not letting me believe that they would be supportive...