heart meddle
There is insufficient life, but my eyes are adjusting well to this illuminated square that waits for me to take action. Here is one. Today I was on the verge of tears because of my frustration, it is becoming more and more common for me to see red again. Little triggers, and named fingers enciting me to react in a manner I want to believe I left behind a long time ago. I don’t know what it was about last night that made write another chapter in two different stories, perhaps the need to write alone was enough to open my mouth filled with such undetermined sources of my emotions. I believe this is how I feel, but my heart is no longer trustworthy, of course this does not apply to all aspects of it, as it true for most of what I’ve ever stated. You were the only absolete I’ve ever possessed. Even in the wake of your condesecion of a few weeks back, with 5 am phone calls that spilled your insides torn to pieces by some other love, before my sleepless night and I, took to the task like my left hand following the right is something so natural it felt daily. You identified yourself, and I laughed at your silliness, you could never be far from recognition. I am asking for a second, or an unknown of the others. I find that I don’t know myself, nor do I care to find out, at best I wonder what is going on with me from a fleeting moment. I’d mucht rather be the blue monkey with which I escape reality, but even that character is growing dull, but I’ve grown out of places where I can run. I miss your skin but even I showed up at your door, it would not be you. On my birthday I wished you’d love me, even if that meant I would have a dick, I half expected to wake up with morning on the 9th , but then I rememberd wishes don’t come true. And neither do dreams, but at least those hold meaning, they are generalized predictions of participants, in the story of your life.
Drive faster than you are,
Drive past the tree and through the wall.
Drive me far
Drive me away from it all.
I am trying to figure out how big the part of me that waits for your call is. I think it’s smaller than before, or maybe it just demands less attention. I am enhancing my desires through letter recognition, but even in you I lack the ambition to persue. An address and a picture, leads you gave me yourself indication where I need to go. But, do I need to go? It’s more like I need to know, or rather I need verification, you’ve been telling me for years, but those statements are as frequent as your contradictions. I will never kick this habit, but I am have more patience regarding the next hit.
You’d almost think I’d quit.
But,
I have never before, or since you spoken truer words, than the ones about you, I have meant every promise, and I’ve had the highest rate of success when they were made to you. I am close to my destination, but the language has far from done what it was intended to do. Breathing is such an awful task, involuntary by every defenition of the word, but amazing things keeps happening, despite amazing being your word of choice. It means a lot more out of my lips.
Now that I’ve long set you free,
Will you come back to me?
Drive faster than you are,
Drive past the tree and through the wall.
Drive me far
Drive me away from it all.
I am trying to figure out how big the part of me that waits for your call is. I think it’s smaller than before, or maybe it just demands less attention. I am enhancing my desires through letter recognition, but even in you I lack the ambition to persue. An address and a picture, leads you gave me yourself indication where I need to go. But, do I need to go? It’s more like I need to know, or rather I need verification, you’ve been telling me for years, but those statements are as frequent as your contradictions. I will never kick this habit, but I am have more patience regarding the next hit.
You’d almost think I’d quit.
But,
I have never before, or since you spoken truer words, than the ones about you, I have meant every promise, and I’ve had the highest rate of success when they were made to you. I am close to my destination, but the language has far from done what it was intended to do. Breathing is such an awful task, involuntary by every defenition of the word, but amazing things keeps happening, despite amazing being your word of choice. It means a lot more out of my lips.
Now that I’ve long set you free,
Will you come back to me?