heres an idea...
so i remember this one time, not exactly the age, or the place, or even what year it was, but i know we were playing basketball. just friends. just kids. nothing mattered, nothing was relevant to world dynamics or organizations. we were all pure. innocent and care-free.
so we were playing, my team was winning, the score doesnt matter, nothing did...it was just for fun. the ball was inbounded to me and as i dribbled down the asphalt court, i remember thinking how great life was. i passed the ball off as i came to the top of the key and ran around under the basket to pick up the pass back. this was the perfect move, your defended was picked off half away and you set yourself up perfect for a turn around jump shot from about 10 feet, which was a guaranteed basket when i was younger. as i turned to catch the pass, the sun reflected off a passing car just in time to blind me as i was reaching for the ball. needless to say instead of catching the ball, it went through my hands and struck me square in the chest knocking the wind out of me and bringing me to my knees.
now anyone who knows this feeling, the one where you feel like your insides are turning over and you can do nothing but gasp for air in short futile breaths, knows its not a good feeling. you are on your knees, on hot asphalt, which is rough enough to make you bleed, trying to save what little energy you had left just to consume life sustaining oxygen. all i could think was, that car, that stupid, stupid car. i was helped up with some friendly teasing, and the game continued...but of course the rest of the game feels awkward because you still feel like you got stomped on by a gorilla.
life. what a metaphor. everyday that feeling. suffocating, not breathing, just reaching and gasping and stretching for something more. and so many things are realized from this...
we are not innocent.
we are not who we used to be.
we are no longer pure and care-free.
life is no longer as easy to stomach and joy doesnt come as easy as it use to.
you know they say you know when you hit rock bottom and they say you can only go up from there. ive been digging into the foundation for some time now, i dare you to tell me we can only go up. i was hoping for some life altering realization once i hit the bottom, hoping for something more. what i should have expected was that i would only get the obvious. the most typical, repetitive thing i could have received from such an experience. nothing. nothing at all. once you hit the bottom you just stay there. nothing gets better, nothing changes. there is no ultimate meaning to everything, you just realize, once and for all, that everything you do is in vain. waiting for the world to change around you doesnt solve anything, waiting for people to change will only drive you mad. changing yourself seems practical, but in all reality you are just putting one drop of red dye into an ocean of blue ink.
what
do
you
have
left?
nothing.
so we were playing, my team was winning, the score doesnt matter, nothing did...it was just for fun. the ball was inbounded to me and as i dribbled down the asphalt court, i remember thinking how great life was. i passed the ball off as i came to the top of the key and ran around under the basket to pick up the pass back. this was the perfect move, your defended was picked off half away and you set yourself up perfect for a turn around jump shot from about 10 feet, which was a guaranteed basket when i was younger. as i turned to catch the pass, the sun reflected off a passing car just in time to blind me as i was reaching for the ball. needless to say instead of catching the ball, it went through my hands and struck me square in the chest knocking the wind out of me and bringing me to my knees.
now anyone who knows this feeling, the one where you feel like your insides are turning over and you can do nothing but gasp for air in short futile breaths, knows its not a good feeling. you are on your knees, on hot asphalt, which is rough enough to make you bleed, trying to save what little energy you had left just to consume life sustaining oxygen. all i could think was, that car, that stupid, stupid car. i was helped up with some friendly teasing, and the game continued...but of course the rest of the game feels awkward because you still feel like you got stomped on by a gorilla.
life. what a metaphor. everyday that feeling. suffocating, not breathing, just reaching and gasping and stretching for something more. and so many things are realized from this...
we are not innocent.
we are not who we used to be.
we are no longer pure and care-free.
life is no longer as easy to stomach and joy doesnt come as easy as it use to.
you know they say you know when you hit rock bottom and they say you can only go up from there. ive been digging into the foundation for some time now, i dare you to tell me we can only go up. i was hoping for some life altering realization once i hit the bottom, hoping for something more. what i should have expected was that i would only get the obvious. the most typical, repetitive thing i could have received from such an experience. nothing. nothing at all. once you hit the bottom you just stay there. nothing gets better, nothing changes. there is no ultimate meaning to everything, you just realize, once and for all, that everything you do is in vain. waiting for the world to change around you doesnt solve anything, waiting for people to change will only drive you mad. changing yourself seems practical, but in all reality you are just putting one drop of red dye into an ocean of blue ink.
what
do
you
have
left?
nothing.