[Voice]

[myhairisflames]

[A booming voice cuts through the comm. Not directly into the comm, but you can definitely tell that the guy's being rather loud.]

WHO PUT YOU DOWN THERE?!

[A pause.]

Uh, guys...
...

[Waaaaaaait for it...]

NOOOOOOOOO!

No. This cannot be happening. I am five minutes from securing Mount Olympus and... NNNNGH!

[He calms himself, clearing his throat.]

Uh...

Comments

[likesfootnotes]

Being summoned that close to completing your charge is a complete drag, you have my sympathies.

[He is assuming this is a magician-bound charge. The voice is sounding a little too epic to NOT be a spirit of some magnitude.]

[myhairisflames]

Summoned? Summoned?!

I'm not-

It's not a charge, it is a lifelong aspiration for revenge. Not even close to the same thing, kid.

[likesfootnotes]

Revenge, you said?

[Wary Bartimaeus is now wary. He has recently experienced firsthand what a spirit's desire for vengeance can do to an innocent bystander such as himself. Well, almost innocent.]

What is it you're claiming revenge for?

[myhairisflames]

Getting the shaft, kid.

[likesfootnotes]

There are countless ways to get the shaft in life. The most common would be the literal one, but that's the result of bad reflexes.

The 'shaft' for me is involves any summoning, and while the idea of revenge isn't unsavoury, it's a little excessive to think too long on it. Does bad things to the brain.

[myhairisflames]

Mmhmm. Well, that's the difference between me and you, innit kid? I take my time, ya know, planning.

[There is the sound of little flames puffing in and out of existence.]

So that everything goes right. If it takes a little longer to work out the details? Eh, what're ya gonna do?

[likesfootnotes]

[The 'kid' references are not so much annoying as they amusing him. There are no humans that are his senior, but spirits aplenty exist from around the same starting age.]

Given the time available to me, taking my time would defeat the point of revenge. What good is serving vengeance on a magician after fifty years of plotting when the old cod had the nerve to kick the bucket at the forty year mark?

I say strike them when they step out of the pentacle or mumble the incantation. Maybe it lacks the artistic flair, but it gets the job done. Can't argue with results.

[myhairisflames]

... What?

revenge 101: professor bartimaeus

[likesfootnotes]

Did I overcomplicate it? Let me break it down for you.

Means are means, ends are ends. It's more satisfying to get an end rather than waste time and effort on the means, isn't it? If the opening's there, take it!

>:3

[myhairisflames]

KID! I don't need you to tell me what revenge is or how it works. I practically invented it, mmkay? So why don't you just scurry along now and let the adults get back to their regularly scheduled programming?

Kids. Always think they know everything.

[likesfootnotes]

Should I send over the cane and prune juice? You must require both if you're older than I am.

Not everything, but I, for example, know a bit about a great deal of things. Add the small sums together and I suddenly know near everything.

[myhairisflames]

I'm a GOD. You know; all-powerful beings from before the dawn of time. Yeah, one of those. I existed before someone even considered creating your pitiful existence. So stop talking to me like I'm six, and I'll be over here, escaping this wreckage.

Enjoy your stay, kid.
[Click.]

hades, i think i love you a little; bartimaeus not so much

[likesfootnotes]

[Silence. Strange. This is the second time someone has hung up on him here. It cannot be his charming personality prompting this.]