Our Memories Defeat Us [9/10]
Title: Our Memories Defeat Us [9/10?]
Author: myhagridromance
Pairing: Frank/Mikey, past Frank/Jamia
Rating: 13
POV: Frank
Summary: Frank wonders if he will ever be the same again after a thoughtless drunk driver tears his life apart.
Disclaimer: Not real, never happened. The title is from ‘Early Sunsets Over Monroeville’ by My Chemical Romance.
Author Notes: Woo, I'm pretty happy with this one and it didn't take me that long. I wasn't planning on posting this soon but I'm happy with it and it might be a while til the last one - I think I'm gonna split it into two parts but I'm not sure yet... Hm, didn't get many comments on Chapter 8 so comments would be appreciated? Thanks :] xxx
Previous Chapters: Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight
- Mikey POV -
As the days passed, Frank only talked about it more and more. All the places we were going to go, where we could stay along the way, and the kind of people we would meet. At times I would have to shake myself and stop myself from believing it too, but it was so hard not to believe the way his voice went an octave higher or the way his eyes sparkled every time he talked about it.
The best thing about it was it was definitely keeping him happy. Even though he seemed okay when he was talking to me, I could see the heavy lines that stress and heartbreak formed on his face, and the broken look that always hovered in his eyes. Now it seemed like true happiness shined through; like after months of despair, he finally had something to hope for. And I really didn't want to burst his bubble.
'So where are we gonna go in the US first, before we start thinking worldwide?' he asked me during one of our deep late-night discussions.
'I don't mind. New York would be nice, never been there. I know that sounds insane. We never really left our little city; we had to give away our car because we couldn't afford to keep it running.' I remembered the long summer holidays, the weeks that used to stretch out before me and Gerard, all that time before we had to go back to school. Our friends would go off all over the world, disappearing for weeks on end, and return with gifts and pictures that looked to us like they were from another planet. We longed to leave our town, but we knew it wasn't possible.
Just then Frank's comforting hand on my shoulder took my mind away from my childhood. 'So we'll go to your city, right? Do your brother and his wife still live there?' I thought of all the memories that would come flooding back to me if I went back home. The times before I turned to drugs, in the hope that they would somehow solve my problems.
'Mikey?'
'Sorry- uh, yeah, they still live there. They live together in an apartment but it's only a couple of blocks away from my parents' house, so I could show you around the neighborhood if you wanted.'
'Of course! Oh, and you gotta tell me about Gerard and his wife.' he said excitedly. 'I mean, I have to learn about them if I'm gonna meet them, right?'
I tried to remember back to before my life consisted purely of drugs. 'My brother - he's an artist. He draws his own comics and shit all the time, and well, he's great, really. His wife's great too, she plays bass and she's so cute. She's like a little doll.' I paused when I saw Frank's serious listening expression fade to reveal one twisted with pain and upset. He looked at me as though he had hoped I hadn't seen.
'Sorry, it's just... my wife. She looked like a doll, too. I mean, yeah, I'm pretty biased, but... I don't know, she was beautiful.' His words came out in broken stutters and I saw the pain pour back into his eyes. 'Do you think- do you think we'll last out there? Do you think we're strong enough to do it with our memories haunting us wherever we go? I mean, it's easier in here, I know it's fuckin' prison but sometimes it's almost like a sanctuary, a place where we can hide from the real world.'
I took both of Frank's hands and laid them in my lap, still entwined with mine. 'We'll make our own sanctuary, somewhere safe where we can live together and patch up the holes in our lives. And we'll do it because we have each other. Just like in here, we're getting by, because we have each other. So who says we can't do it anywhere?'
Despite the pain that burned in Frank's eyes, he looked meaningfully at me and smiled.
'You're starting to believe me now, aren't you? That we can really get out of here?'
'Don't get me wrong, I'd love it - but it still seems pretty fucking impossible.' I admitted.
'Nah.' Frank's eyes sparkled once again as he spoke. 'We just need a plan.'
-
I was still mulling over Frank's words the next morning when we were lining up for breakfast. In fact, I got so caught up in thinking about what his 'plan' would be and what would happen if by some crazy coincidence it actually worked, that I completely didn't realize how long I had been stood until the line started pushing me to make me move along.
I was just a couple of places from the steaming bowls of porridge laid out on the counter and felt my stomach growl; the porridge was normally lukewarm by the time I'd got to it. I reached my hand out to take the bowl - but felt someone grabbing it, pulling me out of the line.
'For fucks sake man, wait your turn!' I said irritably, expecting it to be one of the big guys who like to push around short people like me. But when I turned around I saw it was Frank, and he cocked his head towards the door, meaning for me to follow. I moaned in protest but reluctantly turned away from the hot porridge and followed him.
Leaning against the door of the canteen was a tall, chubbsyish man with floppy ash blonde hair, untidy stubble and deep blue eyes. He smiled as we walked towards him, and I wasn't sure if my answering smile was because Frank still had his hand around mine or because the stranger's smile was terribly infectious. Probably both.
'Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Bob.' His voice was deep but had a cheery edge to it that I liked.
'Hi...' I waved slowly, wondering why Frank was so desperate for me to meet this guy.
'Bob's an old friend of mine.' Frank told me instantly, answering my question. 'He used to work in here as an officer.'
'And now you're a prisoner?' I giggled.
'His sister started feeling neglected at home without him, so she used to do crazy shit to get noticed.' Frank explained.
Bob's eyes turned sad. 'And I couldn't let her go down for it, she was so scared. So, here I am.' He sniffed and cleared his throat. 'Anyway, I heard you two were lookin' to get out of here. And seeing as I worked here for five years, I know all the best escape routes. I know which key unlocks which door, and I can guarantee I can get you both out of here alive.'
Frank smiled when he saw my face. 'I told you I'd get us out of here, didn't I?'
I couldn't think of anything to do but bound forward and wrap my arms around Frank's neck, nuzzling into his chin and mouthing 'thank you' over and over. He held me back just as hard, and even when Bob finally decided to break the silence by putting forward his plan we didn't break apart. I looked up at Frank with tears in my eyes and I just couldn't stop myself.
I leaned up and brushed away a tear that escaped from his eye, and kissed him with all the force that my weak little body would allow. Our lips crushed together and the tears spilled down our faces; we clutched to each other and his hand snaked up my back and around my neck to pull me closer. I was completely aware that we were in a canteen full of prisoners laughing and shouting 'FAGGOTS' at us and that Bob was watching us with a shocked and awkward expression.
I just didn't care.