she stole my heart and made me sing. she tore me limb from limb.
i had kindof a fucked up weekend.
yesterday... i had docia and nick over and we were going to have a nice little bbq dinner with dustin and patric. docia and nick had to go pick up olive, a dog that we were going to puppy-sit and dustin left to go buy some stuff. and i guess while i was cleaning the grill outside in the yard, patric was packing up everything that he had here and left. i was just kinda like, wtf? sooo whatever, went on with my life.
but then dustin started telling me some things... he took patric to a get together at mckale's in which patric got super drunk and groped mckale's ass. patric told me that. it still bothered me but i sorta forgave him. but then dustin told me that mckale said that patric was also groping some other girls there. that crushed me.
i was trying to call him and text him but he didn't answer or get back to me at all...
but then this morning i found a note that he left me on my dresser with a little card i had made him - an ' i'll do any one thing for you without question ' - that said, "don't call me, don't text me, don't nothin." and that really cut me deep.
he left without saying anything to me. not goodbye, no reason, nothing. i've been wanting to talk to him all day about it. just to find out what the fuck his problem is... but i took a pic of the note with my phone and set it as my wallpaper sooo every time i go to look at my phone, i see it.
this all happened right after we had a heart to heart and i was really sad and i told him that i was just really afraid of him breaking up with me and he assured me that he wouldn't. that stings.
i love him so much. but i really don't know what i am to him. if anything anymore. i don't know if this is a break or if he's gone for good and never coming back. i'm just expecting the worse. even if he just wants a break i don't know if i want this anymore. he's a fucking kid. i can't deal with this shit. he's never gonna see me again. i just keep going back to the whole thing at mckale's and every time he's ever looked at another girl. it just pisses me off and hurts me so much...
but i'm not gonna lie, if he was to show up right now and say hey i'd throw my arms around him and tell him i love him and i'll apologize and that would be the end of it.
yesterday... i had docia and nick over and we were going to have a nice little bbq dinner with dustin and patric. docia and nick had to go pick up olive, a dog that we were going to puppy-sit and dustin left to go buy some stuff. and i guess while i was cleaning the grill outside in the yard, patric was packing up everything that he had here and left. i was just kinda like, wtf? sooo whatever, went on with my life.
but then dustin started telling me some things... he took patric to a get together at mckale's in which patric got super drunk and groped mckale's ass. patric told me that. it still bothered me but i sorta forgave him. but then dustin told me that mckale said that patric was also groping some other girls there. that crushed me.
i was trying to call him and text him but he didn't answer or get back to me at all...
but then this morning i found a note that he left me on my dresser with a little card i had made him - an ' i'll do any one thing for you without question ' - that said, "don't call me, don't text me, don't nothin." and that really cut me deep.
he left without saying anything to me. not goodbye, no reason, nothing. i've been wanting to talk to him all day about it. just to find out what the fuck his problem is... but i took a pic of the note with my phone and set it as my wallpaper sooo every time i go to look at my phone, i see it.
this all happened right after we had a heart to heart and i was really sad and i told him that i was just really afraid of him breaking up with me and he assured me that he wouldn't. that stings.
i love him so much. but i really don't know what i am to him. if anything anymore. i don't know if this is a break or if he's gone for good and never coming back. i'm just expecting the worse. even if he just wants a break i don't know if i want this anymore. he's a fucking kid. i can't deal with this shit. he's never gonna see me again. i just keep going back to the whole thing at mckale's and every time he's ever looked at another girl. it just pisses me off and hurts me so much...
but i'm not gonna lie, if he was to show up right now and say hey i'd throw my arms around him and tell him i love him and i'll apologize and that would be the end of it.