i see you.
i just saw avatar today. it was more amazing than i thought it'd be.
cj was getting on my nerves again today. he just keeps talking shit about my friends. he started saying stuff about how dustin is really flaky like he doesn't come over less there's food involved or something. he kept saying stuff about how i pay for everything for billy when he comes over, food, movie ticket, whatnot. then i reminded him that he doesn't pay for anything. ever. cuz he doesn't have any money. and at least dustin has a job that he's managed to hold onto for more than two seasons of the year.
i'd really hate for us to break up over money but the financial situation puts a strain on our relationship. i don't feel like he cares that i'm paying for the roof over his head, the food in his belly, the car he drives, or the phone he uses to keep in touch with his friends and family. that's the reason i really wanna move out away from him. i want him to learn how to manage his own life. i want him to grow the fuck up. i want to take care of me for a while. now that i have my own phone bills to pay, he's got to find his own way. i just can't keep holding his hand through every fucking thing.
today wasn't a bad day but whenever i start thinking about this, i just get a bit carried away with rage.
last night, we were talking about various things and he still keeps talking about the future like we're going to be living together. i've talked to him about it before so i was a little annoyed. i started talking about it again. and he started getting all moody. he said, "well, if you don't wanna live with me, then i'm going to take that as you don't wanna be with me!" and i told him that i'm just sick of this. carrying his weight. he doesn't even try. he's not trying to find a job. he just chills at home all day, playing video games and making lists of pokemon cards he wants me to buy. he's like a baby. ugh.
i just need to continue to save up some money. build my nest egg. hopefully before summer i'll be able to escape. i know he's prolly going to go back to painting again this summer. i don't want to spend another winter doing this shit. erg.
i still love him very very much. it's just really hard for me to look past this and continue to love him the way i used to.
cj was getting on my nerves again today. he just keeps talking shit about my friends. he started saying stuff about how dustin is really flaky like he doesn't come over less there's food involved or something. he kept saying stuff about how i pay for everything for billy when he comes over, food, movie ticket, whatnot. then i reminded him that he doesn't pay for anything. ever. cuz he doesn't have any money. and at least dustin has a job that he's managed to hold onto for more than two seasons of the year.
i'd really hate for us to break up over money but the financial situation puts a strain on our relationship. i don't feel like he cares that i'm paying for the roof over his head, the food in his belly, the car he drives, or the phone he uses to keep in touch with his friends and family. that's the reason i really wanna move out away from him. i want him to learn how to manage his own life. i want him to grow the fuck up. i want to take care of me for a while. now that i have my own phone bills to pay, he's got to find his own way. i just can't keep holding his hand through every fucking thing.
today wasn't a bad day but whenever i start thinking about this, i just get a bit carried away with rage.
last night, we were talking about various things and he still keeps talking about the future like we're going to be living together. i've talked to him about it before so i was a little annoyed. i started talking about it again. and he started getting all moody. he said, "well, if you don't wanna live with me, then i'm going to take that as you don't wanna be with me!" and i told him that i'm just sick of this. carrying his weight. he doesn't even try. he's not trying to find a job. he just chills at home all day, playing video games and making lists of pokemon cards he wants me to buy. he's like a baby. ugh.
i just need to continue to save up some money. build my nest egg. hopefully before summer i'll be able to escape. i know he's prolly going to go back to painting again this summer. i don't want to spend another winter doing this shit. erg.
i still love him very very much. it's just really hard for me to look past this and continue to love him the way i used to.