w h a t e v e r
i feel disatisfied with my current status. summer really is like...stagnation for my brain. and that's definitely my fault; this i can admit. my dad wants me to read some carl hiaasen book...cha. what trash. im finishing the da vinci code...and then onto the goddess (im excited about this one). but god damn im slacking. dont allow me to give u the impression ive been even...somewhat motivated to read this summer. geeze. who am i!
as far as guys go, i'm over it. relationships are so evil. the other night i got my feelings hurt and it was such a reminder. WHY WOULD I EVER GET MYSELF INTO THAT!? depending so much on someone else. caring. giving urself to them. maybe it sounds appealing to you. probes up the anus sound appealing to SOME people, so yeah, that's not saying much.
i make decisions and i havent figured out if im proud, remorseful or just content with experimentation. i dont think it matters because this summer has definitely made me surrender some of my principles. initially that may sound like a bad thing but to me it feels like development. im SO SICK of focusing on the miniscule emotional bullshit when there are far larger and better things to be contemplating. its amazing that people can exist for so many years and still be so irritating puerile. i know it just depends on the individual. i know, i know.
everything feels unimportant to me...as in current drama and such. my mind is so active...why even care about the douche bags around this place? testoterone and it's fucking gay consequences. grow up.
im not hating on this place as a whole but...blessed will be the day i leave jacksonville!
of course i love many of you, but u know whats up <3
this is long...but it felt good to write. im only willing to share pieces of myself sometimes. i hope some people can relate. right now i have to go get ready for stank old father's day. light house grille...my parents are fiends.
u rock if u read all of that. and i def understand if ya didnt ;) toodles!
as far as guys go, i'm over it. relationships are so evil. the other night i got my feelings hurt and it was such a reminder. WHY WOULD I EVER GET MYSELF INTO THAT!? depending so much on someone else. caring. giving urself to them. maybe it sounds appealing to you. probes up the anus sound appealing to SOME people, so yeah, that's not saying much.
i make decisions and i havent figured out if im proud, remorseful or just content with experimentation. i dont think it matters because this summer has definitely made me surrender some of my principles. initially that may sound like a bad thing but to me it feels like development. im SO SICK of focusing on the miniscule emotional bullshit when there are far larger and better things to be contemplating. its amazing that people can exist for so many years and still be so irritating puerile. i know it just depends on the individual. i know, i know.
everything feels unimportant to me...as in current drama and such. my mind is so active...why even care about the douche bags around this place? testoterone and it's fucking gay consequences. grow up.
im not hating on this place as a whole but...blessed will be the day i leave jacksonville!
of course i love many of you, but u know whats up <3
this is long...but it felt good to write. im only willing to share pieces of myself sometimes. i hope some people can relate. right now i have to go get ready for stank old father's day. light house grille...my parents are fiends.
u rock if u read all of that. and i def understand if ya didnt ;) toodles!