steves break my heart

[mygothiclife]

so there are some people that you cannot get rid of. People that always seem to find a way back in your life. Steve Espinosa, the guy i have in massive lust over since tenth grade has entered my life AGAIN. I'm so sick of this cycle. He isn't even that good of a guy, he is a mooch and a meth head, but god when i see him... i smile. But we go through the same song and dance every single time. We see each other, start hanging out. And little by little he breaks down all the damn barriors that i put up, and he lets me see his "sensitive side" which is such a load of bullshit, but i always fall for it. He makes me feel special, and has me thinking that this time, maybe we will stop being chicken shit and fucking go for it... but then he goes and breaks my heart with someother girl. And i don't know why i put up with this... I know he isn't into me, but god damn, that boy is the king of mixed signals. Like we will be driving along, and then he will randomly pull over, and he will be like I have to tell u something, and bear a little piece of his soul to me, and be like I just thought u should know this... and hear it from me. AND GAAAAAHHHH i get that im a good listener, and a good friend or any of that bullshit, but its hard to be that for him, and not want more.
I dont think any of that made sense, but oh well.... i ranted