weary.
i know i'm not the most deserving to lament about how bad my job is, for it is obvious that Psychiatry is one of the least demanding and stressful specialties around already. but somehow last night's call just pushed me over the brink - no sleep at all, non-stop attending to people who are suicidal / depressed / crazy. as much as i love to talk to them, i found myself on the verge of tears several times. by 4 am, i was simply defeated. did not bother to go back to my call room anymore. just sat there and waited. for the next phone call.
am i too old for such all-nighters already? right now am in a conflict as to whether i should make that trip all the way down to TTSH to get my specialty training application form signed. a part of me is screaming 'don't do it!'. but the stronger voice is telling me to suck it up, troop down there, and be brave about everything.
at the end of the day, i can count on noone to make myself feel chirpier or more resilient after a bad call. Self-soothing is probably a forgotten skill i need to work on again.
am i too old for such all-nighters already? right now am in a conflict as to whether i should make that trip all the way down to TTSH to get my specialty training application form signed. a part of me is screaming 'don't do it!'. but the stronger voice is telling me to suck it up, troop down there, and be brave about everything.
at the end of the day, i can count on noone to make myself feel chirpier or more resilient after a bad call. Self-soothing is probably a forgotten skill i need to work on again.