(no subject)

[mygerms]

i did you a favor and made all of my entries private so no one could see how big of a freaking jerk you are. i never want you in my life again after tonight, im sick of going through this pain you put me through. you make me feel like im scum of the earth, that i shouldnt even be alive. you hear me crying, yet you hang up and ignore my phonecalls. you say you're stressed out about this, im way past that limit, ive dug myself a deeper grave with this one. you put me through so much hell, yet when i even try to treat you the way you make me feel, you get pissed at me. then i start feeling bad, and start treating you better again. no, not this time, you have more important people in your life now, especially one certain person. How could i ever think you actually loved me during those 2 yrs, i was a fool to believe you loved me. love does not vanish after 2 months, it must of never been true on your part, but that goes well with the stuff you tell me. i dont trust you, i dont believe anything you tell me. do not worry, i will take myself out of your life, and hopefully leave nothing behind. i want to be a faded memory, i dont even want you to think of the good wonderful times weve shared together. i dont even want to admit i was with you for 2 yrs after the way youve been making me feel. i dont deserve this at all, ive been going insane, you dont understand anything, you've made me emotionally depressed.. you've played your games with my head, you got me back at your feet begging you to come back to me... but no, you are in control dear, and you can tell me straight up that "you dont want me in your life"... i few days ago, i accepted everything, and was finally feelings as though it would be easier to let go because i was gaining back happiness from someone else that could fill that void you left... oh but that bothered you, i could tell from the jealousy and the smart remarks, then all of the sudden, "you like me" i fell for it, hard, it actually gave me hope. i forgot all things, and continued this path of heart ache... i bet you dont feel bad at all, yeah i wouldnt doubt it one bit... Youve got what youve wanted the whole time, me out of your life. you dont have to be stressed anymore, you doing this to me, makes me realize what a HUGE careless jerk you are... never touch me again, i dont want to be touched by your lying hands, nor spoken to with your heartless words. you told me what i wanted to hear all this time, i fell for it. i can honestly say i dont love you anymore..i dont want to be in love with someone like you...
and thats that.