New floor
Need to keep a log of some things so don't forget then after...
It's been about a week since I moved from my cousin's flat to a rented room. I lived there for about 2years and came to love the neightborhood, the people was always kind and reserved, the gardens well kept and filled everything with a sweet smell of roses, and the view! I was awoke every morning with the sound of waves and the sunset would make me feel calm when distressed.
It felt like I was meant to live there since, like he said, I was the sea and he was the breeze. My days there weren't always a garden of roses but it felt like freedom, no stupid rules about how to fold clothes, papers on the floor, or if my opinion counts or not on the dinner table (which weren't taken at the end of the day, but used by the end of the month...).
Family as usual were an issue, that made go from sweet little pansy to look at me twice and "I'll bite you when you're sleeping"...
Seriously what's wrong with my family? I used to look up to all of them, I felt really proud of being part of it. But as time went by it was like a growing snowball of flaws and faked mask falling one after another, but this is not the time to think about it...
Right now I've fallen from grace...I'm in a place further than my loved sea shore hosted yet in another rented room near one of the less glamorous districts of the capital, far from work, far from everything I like secluded between mountains, too far from water.
I'm afraid of what this year will be for me, hope I can adapt to the enviroment and not sucumb to depressive thoughts and selective isolation. It's been around 8 years since I came to this city, and now I've returned to the place were everything started, when my imprison beggined and my second death took place.
I'm not very optimist but I should at least enjoy my mother's visit, it's been a year after all.
In this moment the thing I miss the most is the kitchen graciously, and also the internet, my cellphone is not enough...
Hope this log can briggthen up and I don't know if I'll update it, but since the internet is the only place my mother doesn't check I think is safe for me to rant a little, I feel bad but it's been always like this between us I can't say what's on my head and heart cause it hurts the people I love, funny because "Veritas liberabit vos" is my alma mater motto and it could free my soul as well.
It's been about a week since I moved from my cousin's flat to a rented room. I lived there for about 2years and came to love the neightborhood, the people was always kind and reserved, the gardens well kept and filled everything with a sweet smell of roses, and the view! I was awoke every morning with the sound of waves and the sunset would make me feel calm when distressed.
It felt like I was meant to live there since, like he said, I was the sea and he was the breeze. My days there weren't always a garden of roses but it felt like freedom, no stupid rules about how to fold clothes, papers on the floor, or if my opinion counts or not on the dinner table (which weren't taken at the end of the day, but used by the end of the month...).
Family as usual were an issue, that made go from sweet little pansy to look at me twice and "I'll bite you when you're sleeping"...
Seriously what's wrong with my family? I used to look up to all of them, I felt really proud of being part of it. But as time went by it was like a growing snowball of flaws and faked mask falling one after another, but this is not the time to think about it...
Right now I've fallen from grace...I'm in a place further than my loved sea shore hosted yet in another rented room near one of the less glamorous districts of the capital, far from work, far from everything I like secluded between mountains, too far from water.
I'm afraid of what this year will be for me, hope I can adapt to the enviroment and not sucumb to depressive thoughts and selective isolation. It's been around 8 years since I came to this city, and now I've returned to the place were everything started, when my imprison beggined and my second death took place.
I'm not very optimist but I should at least enjoy my mother's visit, it's been a year after all.
In this moment the thing I miss the most is the kitchen graciously, and also the internet, my cellphone is not enough...
Hope this log can briggthen up and I don't know if I'll update it, but since the internet is the only place my mother doesn't check I think is safe for me to rant a little, I feel bad but it's been always like this between us I can't say what's on my head and heart cause it hurts the people I love, funny because "Veritas liberabit vos" is my alma mater motto and it could free my soul as well.