And Since You've Been Goin Out For Coffee With Him Lately, Well, Is He A Pretty Good Lookin Guy?
We all know I don't really post anymore but Priscilla asked me to so I'm gunna.
Where should I start? Umm Daniel and I are ¿broken up/taking a break? I dont really know considering I haven't talked to him since Monday; the day he supposedly laid all of this down to me. He's making me feel a bit worthless now that I think of it. Not worthless like *oh my god let me kill myself* but worthless like I mean and have never meant anything to him. If we are taking a break like he has said we are to certain pple, then how am I going to be able to get back together with him after he keeps humiliating me? Sure you want to look tough in front of your friends like *this girl doesnt have me whipped* but who the hell ever said I wanted you that way. All I want to know is what the hell provoked it all and I'll step the fuck back and give him his time alone or leave him alone forever. To be with someone for a year and five months and then to act this way toward them when they haven't lied, cheated, or stolen from you is really absurd. I know I may be bitter at times but it's only because I'm the type of person that wants to feel wanted when I'm with a person and when you dont show me you want to be with me through either your actions or your words it frusterates me. And the people around Danny and who have known him for at least a week know that he wants to get his way or nothing will be done at all. NO ONE CAN SIT HERE AND TELL ME THAT ISNT TRUE. I have been strong enough to deal with that and comprimise alot for our relationship and I dont see why it can't work both ways. You dropped out of school, we stopped seeing one another as much and I asked to talk to you for 45 minutes a night. That worked for a week and a half and then what? *I dont want to talk tonight, I'm tired tonight, Im going out tonight* I bit my lip and sat back while all of this happened why?; because I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to be able to do the things he wanted without having to worry about gettin in an argument with me. He called but the calls were fewer and shorter and once again I was the one left to compromise the way I lived to accomodate him. He pushed me outta his life and I retaliated the only way I knew how, by raising my voice. And once again I'm being forced to compromise for the liking of him and only him. I dont know what makes him think that I should halt everything and wait for him to tell me the terms of this but there is only so much that I can take. I would never treat a person the way I have been treated in the past few days unless they had seriously done something to me that I could never forgive. I've said I was going to leave him alone to make his decisions but I can't just sit by and let this happen to me while he does w/e he pleases. Priscilla told me the other night that I was a pushover, which is very true and I'm glad someone was finally honest with me. I have realized that I let pple get the best of me all the time and I believe that not letting Danny run my life in whatever sick game hes playing right now to win dominance over me or w/e the fuck hes doing will help me break that habit. I deserve to be told what is going on in the relationship that I'm in. I'm tired of feeling like shit over this.
Excuse me as I sweep my heart up off the floor and make a phone call,
<3KayLynn
p.s. please dont send me *Danny is an asshole leave him leave him leave him mail I HEAR ENOUGH OF THAT FROM A CERTAIN CALI PERSON!*
Where should I start? Umm Daniel and I are ¿broken up/taking a break? I dont really know considering I haven't talked to him since Monday; the day he supposedly laid all of this down to me. He's making me feel a bit worthless now that I think of it. Not worthless like *oh my god let me kill myself* but worthless like I mean and have never meant anything to him. If we are taking a break like he has said we are to certain pple, then how am I going to be able to get back together with him after he keeps humiliating me? Sure you want to look tough in front of your friends like *this girl doesnt have me whipped* but who the hell ever said I wanted you that way. All I want to know is what the hell provoked it all and I'll step the fuck back and give him his time alone or leave him alone forever. To be with someone for a year and five months and then to act this way toward them when they haven't lied, cheated, or stolen from you is really absurd. I know I may be bitter at times but it's only because I'm the type of person that wants to feel wanted when I'm with a person and when you dont show me you want to be with me through either your actions or your words it frusterates me. And the people around Danny and who have known him for at least a week know that he wants to get his way or nothing will be done at all. NO ONE CAN SIT HERE AND TELL ME THAT ISNT TRUE. I have been strong enough to deal with that and comprimise alot for our relationship and I dont see why it can't work both ways. You dropped out of school, we stopped seeing one another as much and I asked to talk to you for 45 minutes a night. That worked for a week and a half and then what? *I dont want to talk tonight, I'm tired tonight, Im going out tonight* I bit my lip and sat back while all of this happened why?; because I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to be able to do the things he wanted without having to worry about gettin in an argument with me. He called but the calls were fewer and shorter and once again I was the one left to compromise the way I lived to accomodate him. He pushed me outta his life and I retaliated the only way I knew how, by raising my voice. And once again I'm being forced to compromise for the liking of him and only him. I dont know what makes him think that I should halt everything and wait for him to tell me the terms of this but there is only so much that I can take. I would never treat a person the way I have been treated in the past few days unless they had seriously done something to me that I could never forgive. I've said I was going to leave him alone to make his decisions but I can't just sit by and let this happen to me while he does w/e he pleases. Priscilla told me the other night that I was a pushover, which is very true and I'm glad someone was finally honest with me. I have realized that I let pple get the best of me all the time and I believe that not letting Danny run my life in whatever sick game hes playing right now to win dominance over me or w/e the fuck hes doing will help me break that habit. I deserve to be told what is going on in the relationship that I'm in. I'm tired of feeling like shit over this.
Excuse me as I sweep my heart up off the floor and make a phone call,
<3KayLynn
p.s. please dont send me *Danny is an asshole leave him leave him leave him mail I HEAR ENOUGH OF THAT FROM A CERTAIN CALI PERSON!*