I was in a relationship with a boy for about a year. It fell together fast and it was formed by a lusty friendship. Several months before that, I broke up with the first boyfriend I ever had. It was all very high school-movie-esque. Of course I was wary of this new relationship, but it collapsed into something I didn't think I would ever experience -- with him, nonetheless. We were quick to admit the feeling of "love" and it probably truly was love during at least half of the relationship. But like every good man in the world, he decided he wasn't ready for a committed relationship, broke up with me... only to toy with my heart some more by wanting to get back together, then breaking up, and then wanting to get back together again. That time around, I denied it and said it was a wiser choice if we figured out how to make ourselves happy. And, as predictable as the sunrise, I was still feeling these deep feelings about him two months after the relationship, and he claimed he no longer felt them toward me. So... bitter and cynical, I loathe the silly feeling every teenager thinks they need but really just want... think they know but have no idea what it is... and believe that "love" cannot be discovered without knowing what lust is with a variety of people. "Love" cannot form until your heart's been broken a couple times. The contradictory statement to this is that I believe my heart has been through enough already, especially because the only thing I wanted in my life was someone to "be there" for me. That's enough ramble.
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