(no subject)
I've been thinking a lot about the past lately (well this weekend, anyway). Like the recent past: High School and the beginning of college.
It's weird, like the mindset I'm in now (alway thinking about the future, the next few months) it's kind of like I've blocked out some of those memories in a way. Not because they're bad, they just never seem to cross my mind. Unless I will myself to think of them, of course. Yet even then, it's kind of hard to piece some of them together. I guess I just haven't realized how quickly they're becoming more and more in the past.
Sometimes I want to go back to then, but then I wouldn't be here now with all my freedom (not that I was really restricted back then, haha) and the people who have come into my life (mostly Ben).
Yeah, a lot of those people as of late have seemed to disappear from my life, but I guess it's like I was telling Brittany - they were a big part of the first half of college, and the second half of college will be her and her friends and Lindsey and my roommates (until the lease is up anyway haha).
It's weird, I think "am I different person when I'm with each of these people, or am I always constant?"
Of course I'll have a certain disposition according to groups of friends who have different interests, but I think about how I've talked to so many kinds of people. I'd like to think I'm a pretty accommidating person to some extent.
I want to know what Ben was like before I met him, I wish I could do like "Ghost of the Past" kind of thing and go invisibly spy on him.
Lauren was telling me the other day that Shannon had told her we were perfect for each other. That's nice to hear :)
But I know we're not completely similar, that would be too mundane.
I miss waking up to his face and his blue eyes and goofy smile and the feeling of his body intimately close to mine.
ok, that's all.
It's weird, like the mindset I'm in now (alway thinking about the future, the next few months) it's kind of like I've blocked out some of those memories in a way. Not because they're bad, they just never seem to cross my mind. Unless I will myself to think of them, of course. Yet even then, it's kind of hard to piece some of them together. I guess I just haven't realized how quickly they're becoming more and more in the past.
Sometimes I want to go back to then, but then I wouldn't be here now with all my freedom (not that I was really restricted back then, haha) and the people who have come into my life (mostly Ben).
Yeah, a lot of those people as of late have seemed to disappear from my life, but I guess it's like I was telling Brittany - they were a big part of the first half of college, and the second half of college will be her and her friends and Lindsey and my roommates (until the lease is up anyway haha).
It's weird, I think "am I different person when I'm with each of these people, or am I always constant?"
Of course I'll have a certain disposition according to groups of friends who have different interests, but I think about how I've talked to so many kinds of people. I'd like to think I'm a pretty accommidating person to some extent.
I want to know what Ben was like before I met him, I wish I could do like "Ghost of the Past" kind of thing and go invisibly spy on him.
Lauren was telling me the other day that Shannon had told her we were perfect for each other. That's nice to hear :)
But I know we're not completely similar, that would be too mundane.
I miss waking up to his face and his blue eyes and goofy smile and the feeling of his body intimately close to mine.
ok, that's all.