(no subject)
i have never attended a funeral before and frankly the idea of it scared the absolute shit out of me. i was absolutely dreading not only my reaction but my friends reaction as well. From the moment i stepped into my car with kalen to head over to the funeral my heart was beating a million beats per second...or so it seemed. it was absolutely unreal.
as soon as i stepped inside and the service began...i took one glance toward the casket that was adorned with flowers and my eyes became so swollen i was unable to focus. i couldn't tell you what the priest said. but i can tell you all the horrible distraught faces that i saw. and just how many faces there were. it reminded me of 9/11...a tragedy brought people together. some of the people i saw in the funeral i hadn't seen in... years almost. it was such a surreal experience and i just didn't want to believe it was happening. seeing grown men cry like "babies"...i was absolutely overcome with emotion.
granted i was never best friends with racheal... but i..like many others...felt a very strong connection with her. we talked on many occasions about our dreams and hopes of fashion and where we want to live and how we want our lives to be. i have always been incredibly intrigued by her. she really did light up a room. not only with her beauty but with her aura. she has an internal glow that is unique to her. every conversation i had with her was lovely...every hug was meaningful...and although her last words may seem so meaningless to some... they have more meaning to me than i could possibly even describe....
"i'll see you at the castle, baby"
and as she kissed me on my forehead i had every intention of seeing her later that week.
its ok though...cause i will see you at the castle racheal...soon enough i will see you <3
ps: to anyone who is mourning this loss, my heart goes out to you and love you all. i am always here to talk.
as soon as i stepped inside and the service began...i took one glance toward the casket that was adorned with flowers and my eyes became so swollen i was unable to focus. i couldn't tell you what the priest said. but i can tell you all the horrible distraught faces that i saw. and just how many faces there were. it reminded me of 9/11...a tragedy brought people together. some of the people i saw in the funeral i hadn't seen in... years almost. it was such a surreal experience and i just didn't want to believe it was happening. seeing grown men cry like "babies"...i was absolutely overcome with emotion.
granted i was never best friends with racheal... but i..like many others...felt a very strong connection with her. we talked on many occasions about our dreams and hopes of fashion and where we want to live and how we want our lives to be. i have always been incredibly intrigued by her. she really did light up a room. not only with her beauty but with her aura. she has an internal glow that is unique to her. every conversation i had with her was lovely...every hug was meaningful...and although her last words may seem so meaningless to some... they have more meaning to me than i could possibly even describe....
"i'll see you at the castle, baby"
and as she kissed me on my forehead i had every intention of seeing her later that week.
its ok though...cause i will see you at the castle racheal...soon enough i will see you <3
ps: to anyone who is mourning this loss, my heart goes out to you and love you all. i am always here to talk.