(no subject)
Ed and Hank
Color Ed's world... (literal-like)
(This happened a few months ago.)
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
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"Hey, Ed... I gotcha a present..."
"Dammit, Hank."
"Not a present really... More like one helluva miracle... If'n they work..."
"Wha' the hell are you talkin' about...?"
"Here... I got ya these..."
"Sunglasses...? Ya know damn well I got sunglasses I like perfectly fine-like..."
"These are real special-like... Magic even... If'n they work..."
"Why the hell d'ya keep sayin' 'if'n they work'...? They're sunglasses... So's what're they s'posed ta do besides shade yer eyes from the sun...?"
"They're s'posed ta let ya see red 'n green... if'n ya cain't... 'N you cain't."
"There ain't nothin' that helps colorblind folks see red 'n green if'n they can't."
"Well... There weren't... But now there is."
"Think maybe you were scammed, Hank. Hope ya didn' spend too much."
"It ain't a scam. I checked inta it. The company's called En Chroma..."
"So's how much were they...?"
"'N they got a thirty day money back guarantee."
"Gotta be a scam."
"It's legit, Ed."
"So's... You gonna tell me how much they cost, or not...?"
"If'n they work... they're gonna be priceless."
"Dammit, Hank."
"Jus' try 'em first... Ya gotta wear 'em fer least-wise fifteen minutes the first time... 'N they're only s'posed ta work with outdoor light 'n not indoor light..."
"Okay, okay... I'll put 'em on... after you tell me how much they cost."
"Not that much. 'N whatever they cost would be worth it... if'n they let ya see them colors ya cain't."
"Dammit, Hank."
"Just put 'em on, Ed... 'N let's take us a walk..."
"You ain't gonna let up 'til I do, are...?"
"Nope."
A minute later...
"Nothin' red out here... 'N the greens ain't real bright neither... Maybe we gotta take us a drive... ... But... Can ya tell them trees are green, Ed...?"
"They look dif'rent all righ'..."
"Really...?"
"Yeah. Really."
"Damn... C'mon, Ed... Let's hop in the truck... Drive ta town... where there'll be more colors..."
A little while later....
"Damn."
"Wha'...?"
"Tha' there highway sign... Wha' colors is it...?"
"Green on top... 'n brown on the bottom..."
"Damn. Always jus' looked all the same ta me... Couldn't tell the diff'rence 'tween them green signs 'n them brown signs... 'N now I can really see 'em..."
"Yer kiddin'...?"
"I ain't kiddin'. 'N I never knew how bright they were neither... Tha' green is real brigh'... 'N tha' brown looks a lot better too.."
"Jeez, Ed..."
"Yeah."
"How 'bout tha' red truck... Do it look red to ya...?"
"Sure as hell looks real diff'rent than the green... 'N real brigh' too..."
"Damn. Jus' damn."
"Yeah. Damn is righ'."
"'N them trucks... Do they look diff'rent than tha' red pickup...?"
"Yeah. Real diffr'ent. Wha' color is it...?"
"Orange. Real bright orange."
"Orange. Okay."
"Jeez, Ed."
"I know."
"What about them gas prices...?"
"Red on the top 'n green on the bottom. Didn't used ta be able ta tell 'em apart. Damn."
"Jeez, Ed."
"I know."
"So's... I got a question... How the hell didya tell red 'n green stoplights apart...?"
"That's the odd thing... The green always jus' looked white ta me... but just on stoplights... Otherwise it looked purty much the same as red... But now the green looks green... 'N the red looks red..."
"I'll just hafta take yer word fer it."
"Dumbass."
"So's... Whattabout tha' there...?"
"Green...? 'N parts a the buildin' are a lighter shade a brown...?"
"Yep."
"Jeez, Hank."
"I know. So's... Whattabout tha' Sinclair sign...?"
"Most-like green. With red letterin' fer the 'Sinclair'...?"
"Jeez, Ed."
"I know, I know..."
"'N that one there...?"
"Uh... Is tha' red...? Don't quite look quite righ' though..."
"It's more of a orange I'd say... Darker than a real bright orange though..."
"Well that one's definite-like red on white with black letterin'..."
"Yep."
"'N that's all red letterin'... 'N red on the sides a them big letters..."
"Too easy fer ya... I'll hafta find ya somethin' harder... How 'bout that one over there... The letterin' on the sign... 'n the color a them posts holdin' the sign up...?"
"Tha' letterin's easy... 'S red. 'N black below. 'N lessee... tha' pole would be... uh... a darker orange...? 'N so's the letterin' on tha' buildin' behind it... Orange."
"You got it. Ed."
"'N tha' street sign's green."
"Yep! So's whatabout all the letterin' on tha' there sign over there...?"
"Red letterin'... 'N... Uh... Black letterin'...?"
"Think that's green, not black... But it's real, real dark green... So's it's hard ta tell. Hell... Cain't even make up my own mind about it..."
"Guess it'll take me a while ta learn all them variations..."
"There's a real good one ta practice on... Wha' colors d'ya see on tha' there sign...?"
"Lessee... Easy part is the green letterin' on top 'n red on the bottom..."
"Yep."
"'N then... Uh... a darker orange hat...? With a blue band a course... 'N brown boots... 'N a lighter brown rope."
"Yep. 'N in tha' there black circle...?"
"Tha' there cactus is a lighter green...?"
"Yep."
"'N then I'm kinda lost..."
"'S okay... Them are weirder ones... That on the bottom is kinda a orange with more brown... or maybe a cross 'tween that 'n a darker gold... 'N the next layer up is kinda a reddish orangey pinkish color... maybe kinda salmony... 'N the layer above that is kind of a darker pinkish color with a lighter pink on top... Pink bein' a lighter red with a lotta white in it..."
"I'll just hafta take yer word fer it."
"Sorry, Ed... Them basic shades a reds 'n greens ain't hard ta describe... but tryin' ta describe them odder colors fer ya... Hell... Never even thought about describin' 'em before... 'N I obvious-like ain't too good at it..."
"'N I never even thought about bein' able ta see 'em before... 'S kinda overwhelmin'..."
"'S a damn miracle."
"Sure as hell is. But..."
"Wha'...?"
"It's all so diff'rent than what I'm used ta seein'... So much brighter too... 'N colors I ain't never seen before... How do I know what I'm seein' is what it's s'posed ta be...? How do I know it's the same thing yer seein'...? Ya know... does wha' yer tellin' me is red look the same ta both of us...? Or does yer red look diff'rent than my red...?"
"I dunno, Ed. But... Is wha' yer seein' now better than whatcha were seein' before...?"
"Yep. A helluva lot better."
"Then I'd say don't go worryin' 'bout it... Just enjoy seein' whatever it is yer seein'..."
"Good point, Hank."
"Wha'...?"
"I said, good point, Hank."
"I know ya did. I just wanted ta hear ya say it again."
"Dumbass."
A minute later...
"We got a real good view of tha' there hill behind town now, Ed... So's... do it look diff'rent to ya...?"
"Sure does...Lessee... Ain't the same as tha' red sign... Or the green one or the brown one... So's... do it got some orange in it...? With dark green junipers 'n whatnot...?"
"Damn... It sure does, Ed... 'N that ain't nothin' compared ta some a the other colors 'round this here state... 'N ya know what this means, dontcha...? We gotta go back ta ev'ry place we ever been... All the red 'n orange rocks here in Utah... 'N all them real purty bentonite hills here... Damn... All these years livin' here 'n you ain't never even seen what it really looks like... Hell... I'd drive ya up ta Cedar Breaks righ' now if'n them roads weren't still closed on accounta all the snow up there..."
"'S right hard ta believe."
"Sure is. 'N the coast... We gotta go back ta the coast... So's you can see all tha' green there... All the dif'rent greens there... 'N them tide pools... 'N all them flowers there... 'N wildflowers here... Hell... all the flowers ya ain't never seen anywheres... Damn... 'N them badlads in Oregon... 'N tha' painted desert in Arizona... 'N the Grand Canyon... 'N them giant redwood trees in California... 'N..."
"Whoa there, Hank... We'll go plenty a places... Just not all at once..."
"'N fall colors... They're mostly yellows 'round here... on accounta all the aspens... but sometimes the scrub oak is real bright orange or red... 'N we can go ta the Midwest... See Iris 'n go find us some real fine fall colors out in the country... I assume they must got some countryside left somewheres there... Or least-wise up in Wisconsin maybe..."
"I'd like tha'. 'N ya know what else...?"
"Wha'...?"
"I don't even care how much these here magic glasses cost. Whatever it were... it were worth it."
"Good ta hear, Ed."
Thirty seconds later...
"So's, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"How much did they cost...?"
"Ya held out a helluva lot longer than I thought ya would."
"Jus' tell me, wouldya... I'll find out anyways when I see the statement..."
"Okay. They weren't cheap... But they weren't an arm 'n a leg neither... More like just an arm maybe."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Okay, okay... $350."
"Well... That's more like an arm 'n a half... But... I guess it's worth it."
"Yer damn right it's worth it. 'N if'n ya want the better lookin' ones... aviator style... they're $450."
"Don't need the better lookin' ones."
"That's what I figured you'd say. But I still woulda bought 'em... only I figured... if'n it were a scam... then ya'd only be $350 ticked off instead of $450 ticked off."
"Thought you said you were sure it weren't no scam."
"Well... 97.3% sure anyways."
"Dumbass."
On the way back to the ranch...
"Whatcha doin', Ed...?"
"Nothin'... My hands just look a li'l odd-like..."
"Damn. Didn't even think about tha'..."
"Wha'...?"
"Yer hands... they got pink 'n reddish colors in 'em... See... lookit mine too..."
"Well I'll be damned..."
"'S really a damn miracle, Ed."
"Sure as hell is."
Later... Back at the ranch...
"Wha' the hell are ya doin' with tha' there picture, Ed...?"
"Thought I'd bring this new picture ya bought over by this here open window... inta the sun... See what it really looks like fer m'self... Now... Lemme get a gander at it..."
"Uh oh..."
"Damn. Is that thing as bright as I think it is...?"
"Maybe."
"Don't think I'm real familiar with some a them colors yet..."
"Well... On top... on the left... that's a real light red... with a lotta white in it..."
"Ya mean pink...?"
"Well... yeah... but a real dark, man-friendly pink..."
"Dumbass."
"'N then a lighter purple over on the top right there... 'n..."
"Would tha' be a 'real man-friendly' lighter purple too...?"
"Yep. 'N then they're reversed on the bottom... 'N that horse has got some darker purple 'n orange 'n red 'n whatnot... 'n... well... uh... it all goes together a lot better'n you migh' think right-off... Ya know... considerin' yer really just seein' it fer the first time... Ya really need ta give it a while... let it grow on ya..."
"'S okay, dumbass... I'm so glad ta be seein' them colors I don't much care how bright or pink or purple tha' poor horse is..."
"Good ta know... 'cause I love tha' there picture..."
"Ya know what I like best about it...?"
"Wha'...?"
"That it were only $8."
"Dumbass."
A couple of minutes later...
"Hey, Ed... I got somethin' else fer ya... Fergot ta give 'em to ya before we went inta town on accounta I were in such a hurry ta get there... Bought 'em fer ya just in case them glasses worked... 'N before ya say, 'Dammit, Hank', lemmee tell ya right off it only cost a few bucks... Might seem kinda dumb-like... But... anyways... Here..."
"Ya got me crayons...?"
"Told ya it might seem dumb... But I thought maybe... if'n them glasses worked... havin' them crayons with ya might help ya figure out what's what a l'il easier-like... 'N I sure turned out ta be not so's good at describin' some a them colors..."
"It don't seem dumb at all, Hank... Think it'll help a whole lot... 'Specially if'n ya help me re-arrange 'em by groups a colors..."
"You got it, Ed."
"I never woulda knowed about 'em without ya, Hank... Red 'n green 'n orange... 'n all them variations of 'em... Don't know how ta thank ya... "
"I think I can think of a few ways..."
"I jus' bet you can."
"But... I'm jus' glad I saw that article, Ed... Ain't seen nothin' 'bout 'em since... So's who knows how long it woulda been if'n I hadn't a seen that one..."
"Ya know... I jus' thought a somethin'... 'N there's still some good sunligh' left..."
"Ya wanna go out again...?"
"Nah... C'mere.... in the bedroom... by this here window..."
"Purty dull outside tha' window..."
"It ain't nothin' outside that I wanna look at... Better open it up anyways though..."
"Watcha wanna look at then...? Wait... Don't tell me... I bet I know... Ya wanna look at my fine pink ass..."
"Nope."
"Wha' the hell could be finer ta look at than that...?"
"Them green eyes a yers... I ain't ever seen 'em fer real-like before... 'N ya had yer sunglasses on all day... So's... C'mon over here, wouldya... Sun's comin' in real good... "
"Jeez, Ed..."
"Damn, Hank... I can see 'em... I can see how green them eyes a yers are... They always jus' looked brown ta me before..."
"Jeez, Ed..."
"'Course if'n ya tear up like that I cain't see 'em so's clear-like..."
"Cain't help it, Ed. Think I musta got somehin' in my eye..."
"Think maybe I got somethin' in my eye too... Both of 'em even."
"Guess it's catchin'."
"C'mon, help me move this here..."
"Move wha'...?"
"The bed... near them windows..."
"Now yer talkin'..."
"Gotta put some music on too... 'N this time I'm doin' it..."
"You go right ahead, Ed."
"So's... Lemme see... I thought we had it... Yep... We do... Sappy okay with you...,?"
"Hell... Ya know damn well 'sappy' is my middle name..."
"Well... Here ya go, Mr. Henry Sappy Smith-Jones-fer-real-'n-ferever-like.."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTLHWTPpaOI
"Well... my middle name ain't quite that sappy..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
A little later...
"Wha' the hell are ya laughin' at...?"
"Snort... Sorry, Ed... I jus' cain't help it... It's you wearin' jus' them sunglasses... 'n nothin' else... it's purty darn funny..."
"Dumbass."
"Think maybe I'll hafta spend the money 'n least-wise getcha them better lookin' ones..."
"No way, Hank."
"We'll see... Now... Where 'xactly were we...?"
"You gonna be able ta contain yerself...?"
"Nope. Never can when a naked Ed is involved... But I'll do my best not ta laugh no more anyways..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
"You got it, Ed."
"I sure as hell do... 'N now it's in livin' color..."
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